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BREAK by Uday Jadugar

Visually bend and BREAK a signed coin in half - then let the spectator keep the pieces.More Details

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Impressing Girls (I need help!)

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by deezy, May 4, 2012.

  1. So there's this girl I like and she doesn't really know I do magic. I think it would be really cool if I impressed her with a trick. Does anyone have suggestions as what to perform? (I'm not really looking for conjuring roses or that sort of thing) Your help will be greatly appreciated.
     
  2. I cant imagine why anyone would want to go out of their way to try and impress/seduce a girl by knowing a few magic tricks.

    Have never used an effect to try and impress a girl, infact most girls I have seen don't even know I am a Magician until quiet a way down the track.

    The way I see it, if the girl likes you and you like her - you don't need these 'gimmicks' to try and impress her.

    Its like girls who go out of their way to date a DJ, just because he is a DJ.

    If she likes your personality, you dont need help mate! Later down the track I am sure she will appreciate seeing some magic, but dont use it as a way to make her fall for you :). Just my advice!
     
  3. Best advice to impress a girl....get a high paying job and go to the gym.
     
  4. Severely misguided advice. Money and muscles can get that initial interest, but if you can't follow that up with a personality then you're just as sunk as before, only now you have a suit and an exercise routine.

    The same goes for magic. If you use magic instead of a personality you'll just be a performing monkey. Once you run out of tricks, or once you fail to impress them with a trick, you'll lose all social value. So, my suggestion is just try to talk to her. If you can't hold her interest without magic, you can't hold her interest with it. Once you've built some rapport you can introduce magic and use it to build more interest, but do not fall into the trap of using magic in place of a personality. Or anything else, for that matter.
     
  5. Thanks for the advice. The girl in question already likes me for other reasons haha. I guess what I'm asking is what affect would you show to a girl in general as a go to move?
     
  6. LOL...where did you learn that the Disney channel? Yes my advice was meant to be tongue and cheek but it is scientifically more accurate than the old yarn about "personality." Females are generally attracted to resource and resource holding potential. That means, guys who have "the stuff" and guys who have the means to get "the stuff."
    Now most young guys in the courtship stage don't yet have "the stuff<" so it is quite common for males to do conspicuous displays of resource holding potential, a.k.a. proving they can get "the stuff," via the use of plumage, antlers, muscles, and other metabolically expensive "fluff." Here are a few examples.

    plumage.jpg ape.jpg antlers.jpg Untitled.jpg rockabilly.jpg glow.jpg

    But with that said, you dolled out some overall good advice. Magic might catch her eye but it won't replace substance. She needs to like you for you. That includes your personality, your ability to take care of yourself, physically and financially, and whatever else you have to offer above and beyond the ability to do a few tricks.
     
  7. Yes... and no. What a lot of guys don't realize is that women look at the things a man does and says and try to interpret what that says about him. For example, do you have six-pack abs and shoulders like a Cadillac? No? Do you look like you take yourself and properly maintain what you have? That works just as well. Do you have 6 figures in the bank? No? Do you display good sense in using what funds you have and can be generous without being frivolous, intelligent without being cheap? That's even better.

    What this ultimately comes down to is that if you can't attract a woman without magic, you can't attract her with it.

    I knew a guy who's a very talented guitarist. He was already playing Joe Satriani and Dream Theater in high school. He took his acoustic guitar to a party one night at college and set it down to talk to people after drawing a small crowd from playing a fingerstyle remix of the Super Mario Brothers theme. Some guy asked to borrow it. He only knew one Blink-182 riff. It got the attention of a few girls, which was obviously his intention, but when it became clear that one riff was all he had up his sleeve, the girls wandered off to find someone interesting to talk to. Don't be that guy.
     
  8. That's the quote to take away from all this. If you guys are actually interested in learning a bit about the science of mating strategies I would recommend a course on evolutionary Psychology. If you are not a college type you might check out a few books such as,
    "The Evolution of Cooperation" : by Rober Axelrod
    "The Evolution of Reciprocal Altruism" By Robert Trivers (appears in "The Quarterly Review of Biology" 1971 or 1972??Can't remember exactly?)
    "Sociobiology" by Edward O. Wilson
    Those are mostly introductory works...
    More specifically you will find a lot of information in,
    " The Adapted Mind: Evolutionary psychology and the generation of culture." By John Tooby and Leda Cosmides

    There are gobs more out there on the topic but that will get you started. Judging by the responses I would guess that learning a bit about the topic will challenge a lot of preconceived notions.

    Incidentally, much as I hate to admit it, the P.U.A. community essentially just takes the principles of evolutionary psychology, strips it down to just the stuff about mating strategies, rewrites it in laymen's terms, and repackages it to lonely guys for exorbitant prices. If you want to save yourself a buck just do a few web-searches. Most academic papers can probably be found and downloaded for free. If not you can find articles discussing the original work that will distill the gist of the information.
     
  9. Women are attracted to confidence, humour, and most of all.... me.

    But seriously, French Kiss is the trick you want. :p
     
  10. Contrary to popular belief Magic IS NOT the best lure when it comes to finding a mate or impressing someone. Especially if you are limited to Card Tricks!

    Sure, pull an Antonio Banderas and produce a flower or make her finger ring float, etc. but don't try to impress them with tricks; it gets boring and it likewise adds to the negative reputation magicians already have when it comes to "womanizing" . . . this coupled with alcohol consumption is the biggest reason few magicians have a private life with family, etc. We're dogs!

    Going to the Gym and having a high income is more likely to get you a boy friend over a female that's anything more than a gold-digger that will leave you in a hot second for someone with a bigger pot of gold. . . but speaking of boy friends. . .

    Ask yourself how you would feel if some jerk came to your table trying to win you over with flashy card controls and other such silliness and you'll probably get the answer to your question given that no one like feeling like prey and too, most of us want to meet the real person NOT the illusion.
     
  11. Personally, if I'm interested in a girl I try not to show them magic but if you decide you want to make sure you do a trick that allows you to touch her, like a transpo in her hands or coin unique in her hand.
     
  12. The evolution of same sex partnering is one of the most complex in evolutionary psychology, let alone attention getting strategies within that subset. If you have an interest in that I would recommend anything by Frans deWaal. His work with Bonobos did a lot to educate people on the broad range of behavioral repertoires within sexual politics. Incidentally, I had the opportunity to hear him speak at a conference about ten years ago. Not only is he brilliant but he is a very down to earth and funny guy.
     
  13. Thanks for all of the input. Where can I learn the french kiss by wayne houchin?
     
  14. Wayne Houchin's "The Art of Magic DVD. Fantastic DVD. Great for anyone new to magic since it spends as much time discussing performance theory as teaching tricks.
     
  15. Lol this stream is hilarious. My best advice- be yourself. If she's interested in you then your magic will come up eventually. Or sometime you could just naturally be holding something like a coin and then ask her if she wants to see something.
     
  16. That advice is actually rather hollow for a couple of reasons.

    Number one being, which you are you referring to? Who you are changes depending on social context. You are not the same person to your friend that you are to your boss for example.

    The second being, what if you don't like who you are at this moment? What if you want to be something better? Wouldn't it be better to show people the person you aspire to be?

    The ironic thing is that I've known a lot of people who trumpet, "Be yourself," from the rooftops, but then I see them socializing and they lie like dogs. They have no self-awareness. They're still acting on approval-seeking behavior, trying desperately to please everyone. And it's even worse when they're around women they're attracted to. Then they turn into asexual robots incapable of saying, "No." It's painful to watch.
     
  17. Someone comes in and asks a question, and everyone takes it upon themselves to show their higher intellect and infinite wisdom in the world of dating and romance.

    Instead of trying to sum up your infinite wisdom in the world of dating, and teach it to someone via a BBS post in a feeble attempt to seem superior and "ahead of the bunch", perhaps you could just answer his question, and let him figure things out for himself through natural means and life experience?

    To the OP: I would stay away from cards, and do a simple production or vanish with an everyday object to get her attention, if she takes the hook and seems interested, you can read the air and decide if you want to take it further and show here an actual trick.
     
  18. How about not use magic and just walk up to her and say Hi and start a regular conversation and then if the moment if right maybe produce a coin or a napkin rose or something.
     
  19. Someone provides an answer describing things someone may not have thought of at first, and some guy takes it upon himself to show his higher intellect and infinite wisdom in the world of teaching and advice.

    Instead of trying to sum up your infinite wisdom in the world of teaching, and lecture someone via a BBS post in a feeble attempt to seem superior and "ahead of the bunch," perhaps you could just let them give their answers and not trivialize what they learned for themselves through research, study and life experience?
     
  20. This is such a hot topic on the forums, and it seems to pop up once in every few months or so. Usually it goes something like "I'm a magician, and I want to pick up on girls? How do I use my magic to do so?" Then that gets followed by three or four pages of people saying you shouldn't do it, and sprinkle in a few that say you should, and then finally (for good measure) add a dash of people trolling the opposing point of view for suggesting the things they did. Tah-dah! Typical dating thread.

    Personally I think doing magic to pick up girls is shallow. I've been married for 6 years and never in the 4 years I dated my wife did I ever attempt to pick up on her doing magic tricks. Probably why she married me, sure as hell wasn't for my money being that I'm an entertainer!

    I also know that this opinion isn't unique to me. It's been echoed through these halls before from other magicians, and believe it or not even some girls feel the same way. Check this out; The last time or two this conversation came up I took it upon myself to poll the ladies in my break room on their opinion. That being what would they feel about a guy using magic tricks to pick them up. Nearly all of them responded with something along the lines of thinking the tactic was tacky. They'd much rather cards, gifts, flowers, or candy over a magic trick.

    Now if you're going to do it, no one can stop you. I don't have a lot of experience with this subject mostly because I've been off the market for a while, but I would think something like flash paper to rose production, French Kiss, or a ring flight would probably work well. You could probably Google for a few DVD's on the subject too. I know I've seen a few how to pick up chicks with magic DVD's on the market in the years past, I just can't tell you who they are by or who published them.

    Personally man I'm not a huge advocant on the subject. I'm in the boat with the rest of the people who think it's lame to pick up girls using magic tricks. But if you can somehow make it work for you then more power to you!

    Cheers,
    Draven
     

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