This post has been edited due to the amazing responses and assistance I have received here... you guys are awesome! Cheers...
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Ok first off dont say its impossible. Nothing in the world is impossible. Second i really admire your passion. Well never feel ashamed or embarassed to ask for help. Noone in the world can do everything. You are actually bettering yourself by asking for help. Its just up to the public on if they wish to encourage you by trying to help or be discouraging by simply glimpsing past you. yes alot of the "items" to perform the big stage illusions is necessary but it can be dont. Im a performer myself. Now i do more street and underground however i do love stage. I hope this isnt to much to ask but if you could p.m. me so we can discuss a few things that i think may be helpful.
Actually, lots of things are impossible.