I actually quite enjoyed watching that.
Of course the only hard part about judging any pass video like this is we should never get this view of a pass. Its of course a smaller part of your performance, if not invisible. Something you can never really convey on video.
From a technical standpoint I'd probably only suggest watching that flash of a break at the back for your get ready. In the freeze frame before hitting play you can see it. However small i think its something everyone can always work on.
Something else to think about... Your riffle pass has all the characteristics of an "East Coast" pass. Very strong loud. Is this something you want your pass to be? I mean that in a self reflection kind of way not a criticism.
All in all great job, but i think you came here for criticism to make it even better and if anything i might have given you some food for thought!