I think there are too many unnecessary moves at the moment, but I like the principle despite the fact that the angles would make it pretty difficult in most "working" situations.
Try pretending to do it for real (i.e. take out all of the sleights and just pretend the two cards swapped at the end). Try it how you would do it naturally, then do it again but pretending to do all the sleights without actually doing them, such that, apart from the fact that with sleights it actually works, it looks the same. It's much easier to judge for yourself how natural it is when you aren't concerning yourself with the sleight of hand.
Joe
