Step 1: Go to your local cemetery.
Step 2: Look for a fresh grave. You can usually tell the fresh ones because the earth will still be disturbed, and won't be grassy over the site yet.
Step 3: Dig up the body and remove it's hands at the wrist. Be careful not to destroy the tendons or muscle groups.
Step 4: Store your simi fresh new hands in an ice cooler with lots of ice in it.
Step 5: Remove your own hands via use of a butcher knife. You'll need to get a friend to help. If you don't have any friends, you can always use a chainsaw or a table saw.
Step 6: Sew on your new hands. Wait three to five weeks for the healing process to finish. See your witch doctor if you notice any unnatural swelling or discharges within the first few days.
Step 7: Enjoy your new hands!
