My Family against my Cards?

Nov 27, 2010
134
0
Hey guys I am 15 and I have been flourishing for about 2 and a half years.Over those years everybody in my house has developed a hatred for seeing cards in my hands. My parents think my cards are a waste of time,my oldest brother never lets me buy more cards because he says I have too much cards and he thinks me flourishing is annoying, My parents try to make sure I never bring cards when I go out anywhere,Even when people compliment me in public saying I am very talented my parents never change their views on my cards. Every time they come around when I am practicing a new argument begins.My parents would never order anything from theory 11 because like I said they hate my cards so, My second oldest brother who is the only person in my house that supports me at least ordered me used copies of the flourishing DvDs I wanted from ebay.The only good thing is my girlfriend is not the scapegoat for all my troubles any more.... My cards are. I Need Help!!!!! is there anyway I can get my family to stop antagonizing my cards??? or at least tell me I am not alone PLEASE REPLY!!!!
 
My mom thinks that I waste my time with magic in general, but she understands that I have a real passion for it. I hate that situation that you're in, man. I hope it gets better. If you can sit down and explain to them why it is important to you, they might have a change of heart. I had to sit down with my mom and really help her to understand why it was so important to me before she stopped bothering me about taking cards everywhere. Again, I hope everything works out for you.
 
Oct 10, 2007
8
0
my parents dont really care. they just get pissed off it i leave the cards all over the place. i think its just a skill and something that you're practicing right? and how is it annoying? its not like you're doing it in his face or anything. This is definitely not a waste of time considering that its something that you can use in the future as a job even. I got offered a job at a club a few weeks ago and the pay was amazingly high so i think just ignore it and maybe sooner or later they'll understand
 
Jan 8, 2011
2
2
i had similar problem, but everything changed after i won a grand prize in my school "I've got talent" :D, so my advise: win some contests ;)
 
Aug 2, 2010
3
0
Welcome to adolescence, nothing you do is ever going to make your parents happy, there is always something they feel that you can improove.
My mom said that I spend too many time with cards ( I do magic only) , that I wouldnt study, etc ... this just made me want to push even harder than I did. Proove her that shes wrong.
Right now is not that serious, because she is seeing that all the hard work is start to pay off, and that I will be someone speacial appart from the society, that I wont have a boring job, so now she doesnt realy care, she just wants me to push harder and harder. Sometimes I am on Tv, chilling and she says to me " Go do something!"
Its funny.

So my sugestion to you, is make your parents realize that flourishing, and spending all these time with cards, will get you somewhere.
Parents want whats best for their children, and if they see something that is getting them out of the studys, they will reject it , because they want you to have good grades, be a doctor, watherver.
So make them realize this is good for you, even if it is just for relaxing.

hope I helped, Peace

( Im 15 by the way, just a few days ago my birthday
 
Nov 27, 2010
134
0
Thanks guys!! It is not going to be easy talking to my parents about how cardistry can benefit me. After all they never like to hear the other side of the story. It seems all I can do is wait until college.I Can hopefully get a job doing cardistry and card magic and I won't annoy anyone for what I love to do..... I Hope
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Apr 1, 2009
1,067
1
33
California
this is life... and in a way I can side with your family. It can be annoying and can be detrimental to your social life. And if your parents and family are the source of buying your cards and product, then of course it will become a hinderance. when you're living a life where you rely on others, limitation is necessary. If you want to make money doing this, it will require stepping out of your room and putting in the hours of blood sweat and tears. And all this will come before you make your first dollar. My parents aren't the most supportive of my magic, but they let it be. I earn the money i spend on it. I'm also 20 and it's my life. I have a life of my own so why should it matter so much? My girlfriend is the most supportive. She asks to see magic. She wants to attend conventions with me. Be understanding of your family and they'll be understanding of you. respect is a two way street.
 
Jul 13, 2009
1,372
0
33
Yeah I have to agree with Asher. You can make flourishing and magic part of your life, just don't make it your life entirely at such a young age. You might miss out on very important life lessons and when you reach the end of the road, which for some is Highschool Graduation, that's it. You're on your own.
 
We are faced with all kinds of challenges as we grow older. As infants we're tasked with the impossible feet of ambulation. As adolescence we're tasked with dealing with meaningful social interaction, and as we pass into our teen years we are charged with the monumental feat of self identification, and separation from the parent/ offspring relationship, and graduate into adulthood as a self reliant, responsible, young adult. It's these tests that help develop our personalities and define our character.

Unfortunately for you, your situation is more touchy only because of your age and reliance upon the social structure of your home and reliance upon your parents. Naturally, my usual advice to another adult to just dig in, and force others around to accept them for who they are ultimately won't work in full here. You still live with your parents, and you should be respectful of that. However respect is a two way street, and they need to be more sensitive to your hobbies or interests.

In respect to the larger picture here, you've got it easy. All things considered. Some kids battle their families over addictions to drugs, or alcohol. Others try to get by with teen pregnancy, or bad choices for social structure outside of the home. Others have dysfunctional families that are as shattered as glass mirror dropped off a ten story building. You, so far as I can discern from reading this short message, just have a family that doesn't jive well with your desire to perfect your art.

I think what you are experiencing is relative to each of us in the magical arts. To a degree, I think we have all gone through a little bit of what you're facing right now. When you have a passion for magic it is something that goes with you. Anywhere you go, cards, and coins will follow. I can recall the countless arguments I've had with my wife over caring my coins and cards with me when we went out on dates, or to theme parks. Some of those discussions even turned quite brutal as they would lead into full blown arguments. The arguments were always "This is what I am" vs "I wanted this time to be our time, not our time plus the cards." A good friend of mine had his wife tell him it was the magic or her. He's currently happily divorced. Guess which one he chose?

The thing that your family does need to keep in consideration is a two fold thing. One, that what you are in love with is an art form, and the other being that it's perfectly healthy thing to be involved in. It builds creativity, social skills, and fine motor skills. For the most part all you need to be involved is a deck of cards which can run between three and ten bucks, and learning DVD's which retail between twenty and fifty dollars usually. Like all hobbies it does require disposable income to maintain, but that's what they have summer jobs for. This also teaches you the importance of money, and that you need to be willing to work for what you want. Also two very important skills for you to have. I could also mention the importance of learning how to balance a check book too, and other banking related skills at this time, but i think it would be over kill. If you are able to regurgitate a fourth of this to your parents, or better yet just let them read this for them self, I'm sure my points will ring true. I would be interested to know if they would feel the same way about any other art from you would get involved with, be it music or drawing, modeling, or even acting? When you feel so strong about a hobby that your love turns to passion it's very hard to leave it at the door when you leave the house, if only because you begin to see inspiration everywhere. I guess to a degree, your parents are right about your hobby being a waste of time. All hobbies are that by definition: A time sink. However I'm not sure that is a bad thing, that is unless you are obsessing about it to unhealthy levels. However being as I don't know you I am in no position to make that kind of assessment. again, I am only reacting purely off what you have given me to work with here.

Ultimately I believe the time will come, perhaps sooner than later, for you to sit your family down and have an honest heart to heart with them. I believe you need to express your concerns regarding their stifling behavior around you, and how you feel that it isn't conducive to your growth in this hobby of yours. Problems can not be solved unless they are addressed, no matter how scary the concept may be, nor how adverse the reaction may seem. Your family needs to know that this is a hobby that you are serious about, and an art from you want to perfect. You all need to mutually agree upon acceptable terms for your involvement within this hobby that everyone can agree upon. They, to encourage and enable you to grow while you are at home, and you (perhaps as only a suggestion) to leave the cards at home once in a while to enjoy time out with the family. Perhaps they will help you set up a checking account complete with debit card, that they can closely monitor to help enable you to put hard earned money into, so that you can take responsibility for your own purchases from sites like Theory11? I don't see this as an impassible situation, only one that needs to be addressed, each parties concerns carefully expressed, and compromises reached. It's just as silly of an idea for you to just give up on something you are passionate about as it is for them to completely give into your desires, and change the way they live their lives with you without having any input to the matter. Remember that entire adulthood thing at the beginning of this post? Part of coming into your own as an adult is learning how to compromise with your family. Be in that meaning your parents, and siblings, room mates, or your spouse and offspring.

I wish you all the best,
Draven
 
Nov 27, 2010
134
0
We are faced with all kinds of challenges as we grow older. As infants we're tasked with the impossible feet of ambulation. As adolescence we're tasked with dealing with meaningful social interaction, and as we pass into our teen years we are charged with the monumental feat of self identification, and separation from the parent/ offspring relationship, and graduate into adulthood as a self reliant, responsible, young adult. It's these tests that help develop our personalities and define our character.

Unfortunately for you, your situation is more touchy only because of your age and reliance upon the social structure of your home and reliance upon your parents. Naturally, my usual advice to another adult to just dig in, and force others around to accept them for who they are ultimately won't work in full here. You still live with your parents, and you should be respectful of that. However respect is a two way street, and they need to be more sensitive to your hobbies or interests.

In respect to the larger picture here, you've got it easy. All things considered. Some kids battle their families over addictions to drugs, or alcohol. Others try to get by with teen pregnancy, or bad choices for social structure outside of the home. Others have dysfunctional families that are as shattered as glass mirror dropped off a ten story building. You, so far as I can discern from reading this short message, just have a family that doesn't jive well with your desire to perfect your art.

I think what you are experiencing is relative to each of us in the magical arts. To a degree, I think we have all gone through a little bit of what you're facing right now. When you have a passion for magic it is something that goes with you. Anywhere you go, cards, and coins will follow. I can recall the countless arguments I've had with my wife over caring my coins and cards with me when we went out on dates, or to theme parks. Some of those discussions even turned quite brutal as they would lead into full blown arguments. The arguments were always "This is what I am" vs "I wanted this time to be our time, not our time plus the cards." A good friend of mine had his wife tell him it was the magic or her. He's currently happily divorced. Guess which one he chose?

The thing that your family does need to keep in consideration is a two fold thing. One, that what you are in love with is an art form, and the other being that it's perfectly healthy thing to be involved in. It builds creativity, social skills, and fine motor skills. For the most part all you need to be involved is a deck of cards which can run between three and ten bucks, and learning DVD's which retail between twenty and fifty dollars usually. Like all hobbies it does require disposable income to maintain, but that's what they have summer jobs for. This also teaches you the importance of money, and that you need to be willing to work for what you want. Also two very important skills for you to have. I could also mention the importance of learning how to balance a check book too, and other banking related skills at this time, but i think it would be over kill. If you are able to regurgitate a fourth of this to your parents, or better yet just let them read this for them self, I'm sure my points will ring true. I would be interested to know if they would feel the same way about any other art from you would get involved with, be it music or drawing, modeling, or even acting? When you feel so strong about a hobby that your love turns to passion it's very hard to leave it at the door when you leave the house, if only because you begin to see inspiration everywhere. I guess to a degree, your parents are right about your hobby being a waste of time. All hobbies are that by definition: A time sink. However I'm not sure that is a bad thing, that is unless you are obsessing about it to unhealthy levels. However being as I don't know you I am in no position to make that kind of assessment. again, I am only reacting purely off what you have given me to work with here.

Ultimately I believe the time will come, perhaps sooner than later, for you to sit your family down and have an honest heart to heart with them. I believe you need to express your concerns regarding their stifling behavior around you, and how you feel that it isn't conducive to your growth in this hobby of yours. Problems can not be solved unless they are addressed, no matter how scary the concept may be, nor how adverse the reaction may seem. Your family needs to know that this is a hobby that you are serious about, and an art from you want to perfect. You all need to mutually agree upon acceptable terms for your involvement within this hobby that everyone can agree upon. They, to encourage and enable you to grow while you are at home, and you (perhaps as only a suggestion) to leave the cards at home once in a while to enjoy time out with the family. Perhaps they will help you set up a checking account complete with debit card, that they can closely monitor to help enable you to put hard earned money into, so that you can take responsibility for your own purchases from sites like Theory11? I don't see this as an impassible situation, only one that needs to be addressed, each parties concerns carefully expressed, and compromises reached. It's just as silly of an idea for you to just give up on something you are passionate about as it is for them to completely give into your desires, and change the way they live their lives with you without having any input to the matter. Remember that entire adulthood thing at the beginning of this post? Part of coming into your own as an adult is learning how to compromise with your family. Be in that meaning your parents, and siblings, room mates, or your spouse and offspring.

I wish you all the best,
Draven

wow I never knew adults have the same problemas I am having.Thanks for the encouragement I feel so much better now!!! Talking to them worked a lttle bit but they still are annoyed seeing me with cards all the time. Ill try to refrain from them seeing me with cards.
 
Hey guys I am 15 and I have been flourishing for about 2 and a half years.Over those years everybody in my house has developed a hatred for seeing cards in my hands. My parents think my cards are a waste of time,my oldest brother never lets me buy more cards because he says I have too much cards and he thinks me flourishing is annoying, My parents try to make sure I never bring cards when I go out anywhere,Even when people compliment me in public saying I am very talented my parents never change their views on my cards. Every time they come around when I am practicing a new argument begins.My parents would never order anything from theory 11 because like I said they hate my cards so, My second oldest brother who is the only person in my house that supports me at least ordered me used copies of the flourishing DvDs I wanted from ebay.The only good thing is my girlfriend is not the scapegoat for all my troubles any more.... My cards are. I Need Help!!!!! is there anyway I can get my family to stop antagonizing my cards??? or at least tell me I am not alone PLEASE REPLY!!!!


hey dude i know how you feel. My parents aren't very amused by the fact that i "play" with magic. They think that magic is a waste of time and say that i should stop magic when i'm 15 and only go back to it when i'm 17 (cause that would be i end school). They just don't know the pleasure of performing to someone else. Whenever i use the computer, they say:"Are you watching magic again..and so." It kinda piss me off as they are stopping me from doing what i like instead of supporting me. So dude..i know your pain...lets be friends XD
 
Sep 2, 2007
1,182
119
31
Houston, TX
My mom gets kinda annoyed when I want to show her something new. When I used to talk about it my stepdad just looks at me and says something along the lines of "I don't understand a thing about what you are saying so shut up and go watch your magic porn." After he saw me perform a few times, he hasn't been that harsh about it. My girlfriend supports it, but it's annoying showing her new stuff because she is one of those people that just says "oh cool" or "oh wow" or "how did you do that" in a tone that isn't amazed at all. Thank God I have a few good friends now that really have a passion for it like me and when we jam and hang out and go perform it's honestly so much fun.
 
Sep 9, 2010
294
0
My mom gets kinda annoyed when I want to show her something new. When I used to talk about it my stepdad just looks at me and says something along the lines of "I don't understand a thing about what you are saying so shut up and go watch your magic porn." After he saw me perform a few times, he hasn't been that harsh about it. My girlfriend supports it, but it's annoying showing her new stuff because she is one of those people that just says "oh cool" or "oh wow" or "how did you do that" in a tone that isn't amazed at all. Thank God I have a few good friends now that really have a passion for it like me and when we jam and hang out and go perform it's honestly so much fun.
As for your girlfriend, it's probably just because she's used to it. it takes one HECK of an effect to get my mom to say more than "How did you do that?" or something similar.
 
Apr 1, 2009
1,067
1
33
California
haha, "magic porn"... that's actually fairly accurate... If you tell someone to close their eyes as you press play on 90 percent of the magic videos out there... it could pass for porn...
 
Nov 27, 2010
134
0
Exactly what I am talking about!!! They dont Know how good it feels to own the attention of a crowd by preforming. They always think I spend too much time practicing but yet I get random complements by strangers literally every day!! So many good things happend to me regarding my social life beacuse I Preform to new people all the time.
 
you PROOF yourself to them...
you proof them that what you done this far is something you fighting for it.

do some street magic, record your stuff and publish everywhere, show your parents that you can do it, its not just wasting your TIME and MONEY..

i think this is from me..:D

ps: thats based on my own experienced.
 
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