Stop narrating what you're doing. Please. Just stop narrating the "obvious".
Also, your moves need to be much much smoother. That will come with time but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be practicing for hours on end.
It seems like there's no plot, or drama, actually, there's a distinct lack of emotion in the effect. You need to add some type of challenge or something, I felt like you weren't emotionally involved at all with the effect, so I had no reason to invest anything. You set a challenge and you met it. Why?
Magic is an art, it needs a premise, a hook, some emotion, beauty and skill. You need to approach the effect with the questions of whats and whys that you would ask from any artist when seeing their work.
You seem to have a strange hybrid effect here, it's not an original effect - but that's not what I mean. I mean you have a strange mix of magic and "a display of true and utter skill". If it's a display of card control and skill, why have the audience shuffle at any given point in the routine? If it was a display of magic then why not have people just touch 4 cards and then change them to aces? At this point it's either both or neither. It's just stuck in the middle. Why flick the card before you turn it over? Looks like a magic move. Why turn it over really quickly? Seriously, what does that accomplish?
It's an OK start, but it needs quite a bit of work. You blindfolded yourself and then read through the cards like the markings were hard to find. I honestly thought you were kidding. If you want a display of skill, here's how the routine should go from my point of view.
- Set the premise, you will have the pack shuffled and attempt to find the royal flush of the audience's choosing.
- The pack is shuffled and returned, you ribbon spread the deck face up, and memorize the location of all the cards.
- You are blindfolded, the audience calls out a suit, and the effect begins.
- In seemingly rapid fire and chaotic dealing and shuffling procedure there are five cards spun out of the deck at different times. This takes no more than two minutes to accomplish.
- You remove the blindfold, readjust your eyes to the light, and briefly recall the events that just occurred and the improbability of you finding the royal flush, that you had the suit called out AFTER you were blindfolded.
- you then scoop the cards up and turn the packet face up onto the table, they see you've at least managed to get the ace of their suit.
- You spread the cards revealing Ace, King, Jack, Queen, 10.
- As the audience applauds you signal for them to stop. You recall that you know what everyone is thinking - that the cards aren't in order...
- You say, "well, I'll make it up to you." You turn the deck of cards over and spread them out to reveal that they are back in new deck order.
(Optional: You sign the back of each and every card and toss them into the mob/mosh pit of drooling fans attempting to make their way on stage so they can at least be close enough to smell someone so talented)
