I would make the video private, and keep it for obtaining feedback only.
Here are a few things that really stand out:
You telegraph your "get readies" a lot. The breaking of the writs to get a one card break, the addons, the drop offs, etc...
Try and find motivations for all of your movements. If you cannot find natural motivation for a move, choose a different sleight.
Tony Chang puts it very well when he says, "New magicians think that just because they are doing a move, the move is invisible." This is what comes to mind with your video... It seems as though you think that just because you are going through the motions, you are fooling everyone.