What did I do right and wrong?

Aug 30, 2012
232
1
There is a thread all about how to improve your videos...see that. Also The number one thing is we didn't see your face at all. There is no way to pick you out of a crowd after seeing that.
 
Sep 1, 2007
3,786
15
0:04 - Turn off auto-focus. Auto-focus is horrible and makes everything look horrible. It actually gives some people headaches because it screws with your eyes by constantly shifting the focal point even if the framing is stationary.
0:11 - Between the glare from the window over-exposing the phone and the auto-focus, that graphic was completely unreadable.
0:25 - Music's not doing anything for me. No bass drops yet, but it doesn't stand out either.
0:31 - Right now, you're showing about as much of your face as Batman. Not a hot idea. What you should be doing is a medium shot, taking in the whole torso and leaving some room over the head.
0:35 - I would have redone the take at this point.
0:41 - The jump cut was really jarring. You have to avoid that.
0:48 - A beat drop followed by a shot of your expansive "area." Not a winning formula. I see a lot of videos, and way too many of them include someone's junk dominating the frame. Carson Kressley may say that personality stats in the crotch region, but I would add the caveat that it's no good without a full body and head attached.
0:52 - That's screwing with the framing and the focus. It just doesn't look good.
0:55 - Next suggestion: don't use a swiveling office chair for this sort of thing. You keep turning in it and it's really distracting. It's the equivalent of swaying from one side to the next while speaking.
0:57 - The framing ruined the effect.
1:01 - The focus here is terrible. It really hurts my eyes.
1:09 - Your spinning again. And your hunched shoulders make you look like you have scoliosis. Which is bad.
1:16 - Not enough build-up to the reveal. Way too fast and snapping your fingers isn't really that interesting anymore.
1:22 - Again, bad framing and horribly out of focus and you're spinning again.
1:27 - Another jump cut.
1:31 - All the little spins and flips aren't really adding anything. It's hanging bells and whistles on what are really fairly pedestrian moves with little in the way of personalized presentation.
1:25 - Your hands noticeably tensed up for that. You need to make it look more natural.
1:40 - Was the slug necessary?
1:46 - You're spinning way too much and the focus is killing me. None of these shots are usable.
1:51 - You're handling the cards awkwardly and holding them way too low in the frame.
1:59 - This is my last comment on the auto-focus. Just turn it off. From now on, any shot that has auto-focus on is to be deemed unusable and redone with proper framing and blocking.
2:06 - The cut there basically says to the viewer, "That scene's going nowhere, let's try another one!"
2:10 - Very awkward looking.
2:22 - Just because you can edit doesn't mean you should. The cuts don't make sense.
2:30 - Shoving the cards at the lens didn't accomplish much except to further screw with the camera.
2:45 - Gah! Your package is coming right at me!
2:55 - Okay, what am I looking at, and why am I looking at it?
3:14 - So you didn't actually have enough material to last the duration of the song?

Overall, complete do-over. Your two biggest problems are awkward handling and poor camera work. The first can be solved by more rehearsal. The second you need to actually learn all the controls on your camera and how to frame a shot. The music was also so generic as to do nothing to separate you from the thousands of other dudes making videos like this one.

I wrote this back in April so hopefully that will get the ball rolling. Beyond that, tell me what books you own and what your three favorite bands are.
 

Luis Vega

Elite Member
Mar 19, 2008
1,838
278
38
Leon, Guanajuato Mexico
luisvega.com.mx
along with all steerpike said...

1.- Change the location...you look like a "closet magician" doing magic on the safety of his room... Go outside or something...
2.- dress better... at least you should look good... honestly you look lazy and without the will to dress nice...drop those sweaters ASAP!!!!
 
Jun 29, 2013
36
1
El Paso
To me your Flicker was too spinning and slow on your wrist. It needs to be quicker and more fluid. For the beginning when you were opening the box you were obviously having trouble, practice more. It was also obvious that you were looking at the camera, don't look at the camera when you jam.
 
Jun 13, 2013
5
0
Changing the location is hard due to the fact that the weather sucks here right now, today is actually supposed to be 60 and I perform 3 times a week at a local restaurant so in no way do I "do magic in the safety of my own room". And since i'm guessing you dress in a tuxedo everyday what should I wear?
 
Apr 17, 2013
885
4
With the auto focus thing I would change it from Vienzo to Vertigo. Like Luis said take some time to dress a bit better, like a shirt with a collar and some buttons. It looked like you were also trying way to hard to be Zach Mueller. Scratch that. I looked at some of your other videos and you are trying to be Zach Mueller.

The moves all felt and looked ill-rehearsed. You say you work three days a week at a restaurant but from that video it looks like the skill level is not there. Looking at your other videos the patter and polish is lacking.
 

Luis Vega

Elite Member
Mar 19, 2008
1,838
278
38
Leon, Guanajuato Mexico
luisvega.com.mx
Changing the location is hard due to the fact that the weather sucks here right now, today is actually supposed to be 60 and I perform 3 times a week at a local restaurant so in no way do I "do magic in the safety of my own room". And since i'm guessing you dress in a tuxedo everyday what should I wear?

No.I don´t dress in a tuxedo... I dress very modern and somehow fancy!!... I don´t know you style...but you should definitely throw away the sweaters....

I guess it looks like that since you are doing the video sitting in your computer... so it´s easy to asume you do things that way... I would recommend a nice location like the restaurant where you work... also you should do it standing up!!...
 

WitchDocIsIn

Elite Member
Sep 13, 2008
5,877
2,945
Actually, on that point I'm going to agree with Formula. Khakis, cardigan and t-shirt look fine. I'm not personally fond of the first sweater, but it's not like it's a stained plain sweatshirt. It looks fine - if that's your style then that's fine.

But everything Steerpike said - Listen to that.
 
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