Need a set of ideas/tricks to ask a girl out?

[avian22]

Valentines is coming soon and this girl I been liking for two years gave me hope cause she said she willing to give this a try, so I would like for you guys to help me cause she knows I'm very fond of cardistry, and every here and there I show her what I'm working on, if you guys have any ideas pitch them out I would really appreciate it with you guys helping me out

 

[Steerpike]

Let me preface this with a quick anecdote. I once knew a guy who is a young virtuoso on guitar. Very, very talented. He like to bring his acoustic to parties to jam with other musicians there. He got a lot of attention when he played a finger-picked remix of the Super Mario Brothers theme. Some guy asked to borrow his guitar, so he loaned it to him. The guy proceeded to plunk out a Blink-182 riff a couple times until a girl came up saying, "I love that song! Do you know any others?" When she came up, this dude was all smiles. When she asked that question, he stalled. He admitted that was the only tune he knew how to play. He plunked it out again hoping to hold her attention, and she wandered off without another word.

The point of all this is that if you want to show her your hobby, that's fine. Do that. But to really impress her, you need to put in a bit more effort. Take her some place different or unusual, preferably somewhere she's never been before. Offer suggestions of venues, food, places to go. Places you know well. And for god's sake, don't do what millions of other guys do and just try to impress her. Make it about her and trying to give her a cool experience. Most women would rather go to a restaurant they've never been to and try food that they ultimately didn't like then have to make all the decisions herself while listening to the guy desperately try to impress her.

If you've got the chops, one or two things is all you need. Then put the cards away and just talk to her.

How well do you know this girl?

 

[Luis Vega]

Valentines is coming soon and this girl I been liking for two years gave me hope cause she said she willing to give this a try, so I would like for you guys to help me cause she knows I'm very fond of cardistry, and every here and there I show her what I'm working on, if you guys have any ideas pitch them out I would really appreciate it with you guys helping me out

Oh man!! I would say a lot about this...but my friend Baller has already post a great response to your problem!!

enjoy!!


http://baller08.blogspot.mx/2012/03/using-unique-skill-to-pick-up-women.html

 

[timmyr]

A deck of love me's all 54 including the jokers, folded into roses. No way she would say no.

 

[raccoonfight]

Ok here is what you do. Get twisted if you already have it perfect, then take a blank facer and write on it do you want to go on a date with me on it. Now get the kings from twisted a different back from your blank face and put them with a deck. Have her pick a card not to look at it as you "put it in-between the two kings. But already in-between the kings is your date card. Put the selected card underneath the Kings and spread out twisted, she will see a face down blue card and then boom it turns in a red card and on the other side it says will you go on a date with me.

 

[Magic swag]

If you want to show her some of your cardistry, use the Love Me deck. When you are done showing her cardistry, give her the deck as a gift and ask her to go out with you on Valentines Day. Then forget cards and magic and take her to a nice restaurant.

 

[Steerpike]

Ok here is what you do.

Interesting choice of words. They imply that you have done this in the past yourself, perhaps more than once, and that it was successful. Is that indeed the case?

 

[William Draven]

Put the cards away Romeo. You don't need magic to over compensate for your lack of social skills or balls when it comes to talking to a girl.

The relationship should be about the two of you and your feelings for each other. Not your magic and her and you behind the scenes pulling the strings.

 

[avian22]

And you know what your right, I just thought that a magic themed/ idea would be cool, I known this girl for 2 years, like don't get me wrong I have the whole day planned out but something's don't go right and we improvise right? At the end of day I just wanted to amaze her with a simple yet cool trick, but I respect the advice and the story

 

[Luis Vega]

And you know what your right, I just thought that a magic themed/ idea would be cool, I known this girl for 2 years, like don't get me wrong I have the whole day planned out but something's don't go right and we improvise right? At the end of day I just wanted to amaze her with a simple yet cool trick, but I respect the advice and the story

Then you are probably in the friendzone already...if you haven?t made a move in 2 years... then you are screwed anyway.. but that?s another story!!!

 

[hudsonhufham]

grhgjftrhjgf

 

[hudsonhufham]

Then you are probably in the friendzone already...if you haven?t made a move in 2 years... then you are screwed anyway.. but that?s another story!!!

That's actually not true at all Luis.. I was good friends with a girl for at least 5 years before we started dating. That is where some of the best relationships come out of.

 

[RickEverhart]

Confidence is key to being with girls. Not arrogance...confidence. Using a magic effect to maybe break the ice here or there isn't bad, but it gets old real fast. Girls want to be with someone who is confident, humorous, and who is going to put them up on a pedestal and make them feel special.

As mentioned...go do something she has never done before together. This builds endorphins / adrenaline and promotes happiness and excitement. Example: If she has never been ice skating go do that followed by a nice meal somewhere.

 

[Nicholas17]

I'm going to second two things:

1) Steerpike's advice has been the best so far. I realize you want to impress her with one of your passions, and it's probably a big part of who you are. The trick itself doesn't necessarily have to be romantic, just show her something you're good at, but don't focus on it for too long. Be a good conversationist. Listen to her and have fun with her.

2) The idea of the "friend zone" has never made a lot of sense to me. Sure, if you just want a one-night-stand with someone, it might not help you much to be her friend for two years, but if you actually want to start a meaningful relationship, being her friend is one of the most important, if not the most important part.

 

[SportsMagician54]

Couldn't have said it better myself. Magic can get you attention from girls to get something started, but it shouldn't be the basis of your relationship.

Put the cards away Romeo. You don't need magic to over compensate for your lack of social skills or balls when it comes to talking to a girl.

The relationship should be about the two of you and your feelings for each other. Not your magic and her and you behind the scenes pulling the strings.

 

[avian22]

Like I said don't get me wrong I know what I wanted to do it's just I wanted to end the night with a magic themed? Yea it's a big part of who I am don't get me wrong, and trust me if all of you knew the whole story, you probably think differently of this friend zone situation, and I do appreciate what all you guys are saying even if you don't know what the story, but like I said I just wanted a magic themed to end the night that's all I know everything else I have plan will fall into the romantic section but why not make it unique right?

 

[Luis Vega]

I'm going to second two things:

1) Steerpike's advice has been the best so far. I realize you want to impress her with one of your passions, and it's probably a big part of who you are. The trick itself doesn't necessarily have to be romantic, just show her something you're good at, but don't focus on it for too long. Be a good conversationist. Listen to her and have fun with her.

2) The idea of the "friend zone" has never made a lot of sense to me. Sure, if you just want a one-night-stand with someone, it might not help you much to be her friend for two years, but if you actually want to start a meaningful relationship, being her friend is one of the most important, if not the most important part.

Is good to be her friend..DURING THE RELATIONSHIP!!!!...It?s not adviceable to be her best friend before, it?s not good that she feels way too comfortable with you before doing your move..there must be some tension (in the good way) when she is around you!...

When I read that he said this girl is " willing to give it a try" I knew he was in trouble..girls that WANT to be with you, don?t give it a try.. they fall on your arms without thinking it over...

I love discussing social dinamics and so... but here is not the place to do it... I advice everyone to read this blog...

http://baller08.blogspot.mx/

Very nice!! Peace out!!!

 

[Steerpike]

The concept of the "friend zone" has been bastardized over the last few years. What it originally referred to was the concept that most men disqualify themselves as relationship material in a woman's mind by not acting in a way that would keep that door open. Too many guys make the mistake of trying to impress a woman by acting like her brother or one of her girlfriends. She doesn't date either of those two types of people.

There are a lot of women who believe the best relationships are "friends first." But you still have to act in a manner that shows you are relationship material. When a woman says "friends first," that's typically out of a personal reticence. Being in a relationship means being vulnerable and a lot of women, understandably so, want to know that they can trust you as a friend before trusting you as a lover. It's an emotional safety net. And the thing about safety nets is that nobody really wants to fall into them, but it's a hell of a lot better than the alternative. In communications theory, they call this the "storgic" type. There are several different types, and they all approach relationships differently.

To sum up, the "friend zone" was originally what happened when you acted like too much of an asexual wimpy robot around a woman and she disqualified you as dating material because she knew you were being fake around her, but she liked you too much to just cut you out of her life. Not a satisfying situation for anyone involved. Unfortunately these days it tends to get used interchangeably with "not getting laid tonight."

 

[Luis Vega]

And the thing about safety nets is that nobody really wants to fall into them, but it's a hell of a lot better than the alternative. In communications theory, they call this the "storgic" type. There are several different types, and they all approach relationships differently.

Can you please elaborate on this?..it caught my attention...jeje

 

[Steerpike]

Can you please elaborate on this?..it caught my attention...jeje

By the safety nets, what I mean is that they're there to catch you when the structure you've been standing on is crumbling. The fact that structure is breaking really sucks. Nobody wants to go through that. But without the safety net to catch you... well, you can use your imagination to see where that ends.

In regards to the relationship types, I'm a little rusty but the basic premise is that different personality types interact with people through different filters and this is especially true when it comes to romance and intimacy. If I recall correctly, there are five types but I can only recall details about three off the top of my head.

The storgic type as I mentioned before is the "friends first" type and occurs more frequently in women than men. Storgic personalities are people who prefer a strong emotional framework of mutual trust and respect to bond over. It makes it easier to accept the vulnerability that comes with being in a relationship.

The eros type is more common in men. I myself show signs of this type. Eros personalities are more inclined to follow their passions. This is not to say that they can't maintain long-term relationships, but the passion tends to burn out faster for them before time buttresses their feelings of loyalty and commitment. They and their partners need to be willing to work to keep things fresh and exciting in the relationship to get past that hurdle.

The third type that I recall is the agapic type, which is rather rare. A lot of us aspire to be good lovers, but for the agapic type it's almost a natural talent. They're naturally very generous and selfless. Most romance novel protagonists who aren't bad boys tend to be a broad outline of the agapic type.

Naturally each of these types has a darker side where individual neurosis or insecurity can turn these traits into self-sabotaging behavior. The habitual cheater for example is typically an eros with a lack of empathy. I suggest you dig more into communications theory and interpersonal relationships to learn more about this.