Comebacks

[DannyT]

I was doing some flourishes from The System and The Triliogy in school the other day. A lot of kids were like that's pretty crazy. One kid said, "seriously, your a loser, how many hours were you in your room practicing that for?"
The rest of the kids started laughing. I looked at him, and thinking quick like I do, I said "You know, it just comes naturally for me". I got everybody to laugh with me than laugh at me.

I always have to have a comeback for these types of kids. Has anyone here had a spectator come up to you and say something to make fun of you? What did they say? How'd you handle it?

 

[MitchellStafiej]

Simply ignore them, any comeback will fuel them to attack even more. They are looking for attention, so don't give them any!

Mitchell

 

[AceOfSpades2662]

yeah same thing happens to me kids say stuff like hey how long u sit around and practice that in your basement any ideas for replies?

 

[Shodan]

"I spend as much time alone in my room as you do, the only difference being that I can do card tricks in public, but you'd be arrested if you masterbated."

...or words to that effect.

I used to get stick in high school for being a dancer. When I told 'em how much I got paid for instructing though they shut up pretty quick.

 

[AllanLuu]

You know I poke fun at myself sometimes too just so that if a heckler ever did come and say that people would just think they are stupid.

For example, when I am performing to say 5 or 6 people eventualy sometime somone will ask, "where did you learn this" and I will usually say, "3 years of no social life" or somthing along that line.

 

[Cardmagic12345]

Soemone said that to me and I was like,I do what I want,just ask your mom.and everyone was like Ohhhhhhh,the he hit me and ran.

 

[al3x:h]

"I spend as much time alone in my room as you do, the only difference being that I can do card tricks in public, but you'd be arrested if you masterbated."

...or words to that effect.

I used to get stick in high school for being a dancer. When I told 'em how much I got paid for instructing though they shut up pretty quick.

ok THAT was funny and my new comeback

 

[Shodan]

Just make sure you're ready to dodge the punch if you do!

 

[c3rb3rus]

oddly enough i have not had anyone make that comment to me while i flourish in class .. it could be that it was in college and not in high/middle school though. i had a proffesor say to me "whoa are you going to Vegas to work in a casino?" once .. and during one lecture i noticed that the entire room got very quiet only to realize that everyone was staring at me and the ones that were not staring were being tapped on the shoulders by the ppl that were and making them look in my direction lol

usually if i get asked how do you do that or how long did it take you to learn that or something along those lines i respond with "lots of practice and no social life" and i usually say it with a smile .. ppl generally laugh with me rather than at me when they realize im just joking around.

 

[Steerpike]

If I have to respond, I usually just say something to shift things away from me and onto him. He wants the spotlight that bad, he can have it for a few minutes.

"You know, dude... I thought you were cool already. You don't need to try this hard to get my attention."

"It's something to do. I don't know why everyone thinks it's that impressive, it's just a hobby. Maybe you could take some of my adoring fans off my hands for a minute." (all said in a casual, light-hearted voice)

If I really want to put somebody in their place, De'vo's bird production works well enough.

"It has its uses. I'll bet you twenty bucks I can produce a bird right here, right now. You in?" (actually do pull out a twenty and grin in a cocky way; I'm sure you all know where this is going)

 

[MindTrapMagic]

Well i dont really do XCM but if someone said that to me id somehow onvolve their mom in it. You cant go wrong in a comeback with that. For example.

"How long do you stay in your room practicing this stuff you loser?!"

"Long enough to make your mom scream"

Not the best haha, im more creative in the spurr of the moment, im very arugmentative haha

 

[Austin Fields]

nobody ever comes up to me and says anything mean or demeaning anymore, well mostly because I know 90% of my school and I don't think that any one person doesn't like me as a friend. (not conceited just good with people) and partially because I can think of comebacks so fast it seems like it's rehearsed, that, and their usually mean enough to where the person has no self-esteem to come back again, course then I say "ohhhh the silent comeback."

If someone came up to me and said "how long have you sat in your room practicing that for loser?" I'd probably say something like "less time than you sit in your room playing with yourself, and by the looks of you, maybe even half that time."

any other lines you've encountered post them and I'll see if I can give you a come back.

~Beans

 

[DannyT]

Wow, so far this has been good. Some of the comebacks on here are really funny. I'm glad I posted this thread. Hopefully everyone will post something they've heard that was insulting to them so we can have a comeback for all these insults. As far as the momma jokes go, I don't really like them to much because I hate it when people say stuff like that to me, so I don't say it to other people. And what if one time, you hit one of those guys with that joke, and their mom has passed away. So maybe we can keep without the momma jokes.

 

[Steerpike]

As far as the momma jokes go, I don't really like them to much because I hate it when people say stuff like that to me, so I don't say it to other people. And what if one time, you hit one of those guys with that joke, and their mom has passed away. So maybe we can keep without the momma jokes.

That was actually the case with my dad. He responded, "How'd you pull that off, with a ouija board?"

In general, I find yo momma jokes to be stiflingly unfunny and a last resort of the witless, much like gay jokes.

 

[MindTrapMagic]

Actually the best thing you could prob do is hand them the deck and be like "Here, you do it"

 

[Austin Fields]

mindtrap

I wont risk some jerk with my cards when if you make a fool out of a heckler he's going to try and save ground, and I don't want to play 52 card pick up.

~Beans

 

[Avancer]

I've met with this once, and I just showed the "heckler" a magic trick and he reacted well and was intrigued...might not work for everyone, but it worked in my case.

 

[clllllust]

Wow some of these are pretty harsh.....except I sorta snapped on one of my friends the other day I feel bad now. For my WHOLE routine he was runining it and wasn't even part of the circle of people around me and was just sitting in the corner. And after the 4th trick he ruined I turned around and said "Honestly can you grow a pair and stop spilling all of the tricks. It's not like anyone is even paying attention to you, don't you understand at the moment no one likes you that's why no one is talking to you?" Well he shut up after that but, I apologized today. Except if you tell a person 3 times to stop and they don't, action has to be taken. And I have a short temper so put 2 and 2 togethere and I sorta snapped. heh heh

-RA69

 

[Miles_of_Magic]

Remark: "seriously, your a loser, how many hours were you in your room practicing that for?"

Response: I dunno, ask your mother, she was with me.

Seriously,
Never give them the stage. Ignore first, if it continues, stop. Stop doing what you are doing. I stand would there and stare at him. If others are enjoying what you're doing, they will take care of him.

I have been performing magic for over 20 years, and I can count on one hand the times I have had to deal with a real heckler. You have to control the situation, and not EVER let the situation control YOU!

Curtis "Miles of Magic"

 

[Austin Fields]

I think you mean you used one hand to take are of the heckler.


:-D

~Beans