Honestly, I don't think it is good enough. It lacks fluidity in some portions, and many of the grips you use make it difficult you to do a move with each hand, as having a hand not doing anything doesn't look very great. Generally any move you add to a flourish is only justified if you are going to let the packet/card join the rest of the deck immediately, if it will maintain motion throughout the flourish, or if the amount of time it remains stagnant is either covered by another motion from that same hand, or it is so quick it is not noticeable. Honestly, the best way of figuring out how to make your flourishes look smoother is to design some yourself or watch more tutorials from others.
Hope I helped,
Peter H