How to deal with stalkers... or otherwise unpleasent folk.

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by AshleyHall, May 14, 2010.

  1. #1 AshleyHall, May 14, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 10, 2012
    This post has been edited, thanks to all of the awesome and uber cool magic kiddos here at Theory11. Your advice and professionalism regarding my many postings here on this site has been invaluable....
     
  2. I'm pretty sure this happens to Female magicians the most...

    I've never had a female (or male thank god) want to stalk me after a performance. The closest to that, for me, would be having someone follow me around begging to see another trick.

    My advice would be to carry mace, or a tazer(?). Some people are just creepy.
     
  3. In a Brooklyn Italian accent, threaten to make them "magically disappear".

    Or use the buddy system.
     
  4. I have only had this happen once. I happen to be 32 and pretty "studly" ha ha if I do say so myself. Anyhow..for some reason I always seem to attract the older women in their mid 40's. Wedding receptions, bar magic, etc. True story...ha ha. Danny T and Chris W. have heard about this incident.

    Anyhow one lady made a few sexist comments and said something about magic after hours and put a $10 tip in my chest pocket. I politely thanked her for the tip but told her that I was happily married and that I hoped she enjoyed the evening.

    Ashley...for your sake I would always have some sort of male figure with you when you go and perform in venues. I would not go by yourself because there are some shady and strange characters out there. A tazer may not be a bad idea in your purse if you absolutely have to go to a gig alone.

    Or..have a trusted guy walk you out to your car after your performances. Maybe it is the owner of the venue.
     
  5. I've never had a stalker whilst performing magic, but I did have one instance of a stalker following me on set during an acting job. And even then, she definitely wasn't that old, or even particularly mentally disturbed, lol.

    Now normally, I'd just say be clear about how you feel - but if you're talking to mentally disturbed or otherwise drunk, etc., men, then maybe not :p Where were you working? It's definitely worth telling venue security/staff if possible.
     
  6. The worst I have heard is a friend of mine and a buddy of his threw pickles off of the roof of my work (Triple-o's) at some of his stalkers who always come to see him haha.
     
  7. On a serious note, follow reverhart's advice. And if you perform regularly within a small community (city, restaurant), then you can request the door-men (if there will be any) to not allow the man/woman entry during your gig.

    On my note, show him one last trick before you dash for your car or public transport; tell him it's a special trick, just for him, and say it like you mean it. Do Angle Zero by Daniel Madison, or your favorite "card-to-anywhere". After vanishing the card corner/card, point to a very very far-away location (aka a trash can 200m away). Tell him the card corner/card is in the trash can, inside a crumpled Coca-Cola can (or any specifics you would like to add, to add to the realistic feeling).
    If you have successfully portrayed a very sincere and special performance for him, he would without hesitation dash to the trash can and dive in.
    ...or if you had real special powers, you can make the card corner appear in his nostril, therefore rendering him helpless and powerless to stalk you anymore.

    Good luck Ashley!
     
  8. Sorry David I love you to death but never offer to show a stalker something special. Simply inform security or the managment about the situation. 90% of the time they will help otherwise get someone else to walk you out.
     
  9. ...why not?...:(
     
  10. You're giving them all the more reason to stalk you.

    Rev, we need to get on tokbox again soon. GT's. haha.

    Ashley, take Rev's advice when doing private gigs. Get a male(strong) friend with you to go to make sure everything's copacetic.
    I can tell it's not easy being a female magician, but you just have to deal with these casualties if this is something you want to do.

    I've read too many horror stories about stalkers, that you should make sure you do whatever it takes to stay safe.
     
  11. I read a post on the Cafe, about a balloon guy that was stalked by an upset parent for stopping the line so he could go home.

    He went to Best Buy, and the guy was there giving him threatening looks. He even followed him a ways down the road before finally leaving off!

    However you choose to handle it, just know that it happens and you should be prepared.

    On a lighter note, do Gatorboots :D
     
  12. #13 Justin.Morris, May 15, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: May 15, 2010
    Or get your hands on this book and you will always be safe.
     
  13. Since you didn't mention specifics (such as exactly what these people did), here are some non-specific recommendations:

    Communicate your non-interest in them clearly.

    Start with something like a simple, "No thanks."

    If they persist, then something like, "Please understand that I have no interest in a platonic or romantic relationship with you. Please stop immediately."

    If they need a third strike, "If you don't stop, I will go to the authorities and pursue a restraining order."

    And do just that.

    If you are having trouble with harassment (aka, people who constantly contact you on the phone/mail/online, show up at your doorstep, or physically harass you), then consider the following:

    Learn diplomacy. At the worst, you can instantly diffuse ugly situations. At the best, a semi-stalker can be made into a legitimate fan who learns how to keep a respectful distance.

    Maintain your privacy. Don't give out your personal contact info. Instead, use a agent.

    Learn self-defense. Take classes. Don't be a victim, inside or out. This will be beneficial on many levels.

    Good luck!
     
  14. I don't have this problem. I can blind people with cards from 8 feet away.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Ladies and Gentlemen! The one! The only! DarkWitness!
     
  15. Well, i was once performing for this girl. I thought she really liked my tricks but one day i decided to perform card to mouth to her, i checked to see it she was looking where i wanted her to look which is the deck aimed low, and i realized she was looking at my face the whole time ... !!!
     
  16. Learn self-defense and carry a taser.
     
  17. Pshhhhhh, no need no carry tasers .... We are magicians !!!!
     
  18. Fox Labs self defense spray. I like their mean green its really strong and has a permanent green dye in it. Makes it that much easier for police to find the offender later.
     

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