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Impressing Girls (I need help!)

timsilva

Elite Member
Nov 18, 2007
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California
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@deezy

Here is a general structure I would suggest. I have used this many times with success.

If you really want to be awesome, don't tell her you do magic tricks, let her find out in the best possible way, indirectly. Next time you are out with her, walk away at some point (without drawing attention to yourself), and start doing tricks for some random people. This works best in a dense location with lots of people (bar, club, park, house party, etc). This way, she won't notice you walking off, and you can have options for which group to approach. Try to pick a group that you'd expect loud, animated reactions from. Hopefully, you can get this group to start yelling and reacting in a way that will catch her attention. Make sure to show them hard hitting, closing effects. You want a quick, attention grabbing reaction from this random group. At this point, she might run over to you and say something like "I didn't know you did magic tricks! Show me one!" Then, you can tell her that if she asks nicely, you might show her something. If you delivery this correctly, she will laugh/smile and say "Please!" ... then continue from there with what ever effects you like best.

The point here is to end with her begging you for a magic trick. It shows her that you are fun, high value, and that she has to earn your time. She will have more fun just being with you because all the attention will be on you to begin with. If you are familiar with pickup, this entire approach covers a lot of the core principles from the mystery method.

Use this information wisely, and best of luck my friend! :)
 
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Sep 1, 2007
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Belgrade, Serbia
In my humble experience (well, not so humble) with all kinds of women, two personality traits are always the one that attracts them. Ask ANY girl about it and you'll get the same answer. These are (and in this order):
1. Humor
2. Confidence
One of the hottest girls I know wrote this on her facebook profile:
"funny guy > good looking guy"
And then her girl friend (also smoking hot) added:
"funny guy + good looking guy = marriage"
I don't usually use magic as a mean to attract girls, but I'm kind of forced to since I'm a full time restaurant magician, performing 6 hours a day. I'm always very well dressed (very nice suite that fits perfectly, nice shirt and a tie), plus I'm 6'6" tall and going to the gym for 7 years now (see what I mean about the confidence part?).
So if it helps, I always get these comments from girls: "Oh wow, you're really funny and extremely confident, plus you do magic. What more can a woman ask for". So doing magic is always a plus, but it comes after your personality traits.
Also, when it comes to P.U.A. community, I used to read tons of books and watch tons of videos, and after each book and each video I knew a lot less than what I knew before lol. So I wouldn't recommend it, but that's just me. It's still a very fun read/watch for entertainment purposes.
So, be confident, be funny/charming, dress well and go to the gym, and use magic as an extension of you, not as a replacement of you.
 
Sep 1, 2007
3,786
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Also, when it comes to P.U.A. community, I used to read tons of books and watch tons of videos, and after each book and each video I knew a lot less than what I knew before lol. So I wouldn't recommend it, but that's just me. It's still a very fun read/watch for entertainment purposes.

The problem comes from a lack of quality control. The community is conducting a massive social experiment in real time, but far too many of them don't care for actually using the scientific method and the whole thing is getting very political. David D's stuff is pretty consistent and the Stylelife Challenge is good for guys who need help with the initial learning curve, but beyond that it's a serious case of caveat emptor.
 

CaseyRudd

Director of Operations
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Jun 5, 2009
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Charleston, SC
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Since he wants to know how to at least get started talking to a girl over magic, I'll try to give some advice.

Disclaimer: I don't use magic to strictly "pick up" girls. Ever.

On to what I was going to say:

Use magic as an indirect social technique. What I mean by this, is in a group of friends that you already know, show them a couple of tricks. By a couple of people I mean a group of your guy friends that you know well. Make sure your tricks are polished. The last thing you want to do is mess up and then you fail in terms of getting attention. Especially when you want to show a quick thing for the girls.

Do this especially when there are girls around. In the classroom, at lunch, or any place where you can do a lot of socializing with your friends. You could possible make one of them your wingman and have them react in a good way, getting attention of the certain someone you want. If she looks your way and is interested in what is going on, have your friend tell her to "check this out, this is sick!". When she comes over, show her something quick, and please try to be humorous. Not like you are trying too hard, but make it a fun experience so she isn't making a straight face. Get her involved, and show her something simple. Something like a simple double lift to make the card change in her hand is perfect. Quick, direct, and you can possibly and quickly touch her hand to get some contact. But do it quick, not like you want to hold her hand.

Build up suspense. Make it feel like something magical is happening in between her hands. She'll crack a smile if you're doing it right. Let the magic moment happen and let her react to it. She'll be in a very social mood at this point. Put the cards away (or something else, as this is an example to make it quick), and introduce yourself, start talking to her. Let her compliment you on what you did before you start talking about it again. If you are near any food places, ask her to join you to get something to eat. Now you have to have a likable personality and be the confident, and the somewhat funny guy you can be. If she likes talking to you and likes your personality, you are good to go.

If you want to use magic to break the ice, I would recommend doing that at the right time. I don't really do this to pick up girls, but at school when I'm performing for my friends in class when we don't have work to do, I get attention from the girls in the class pretty much all the time and it's a good way to start talking. Just try it out and see if it works for you.

Just don't go "hey if you liked that trick you should go out with me sometime". lmao
 
Sep 1, 2007
3,786
15
If you want to use magic to break the ice, I would recommend doing that at the right time. I don't really do this to pick up girls, but at school when I'm performing for my friends in class when we don't have work to do, I get attention from the girls in the class pretty much all the time and it's a good way to start talking. Just try it out and see if it works for you.

This works. Magic makes a great icebreaker. Though it works even better if you avoid the temptation to talk about yourself and shift the conversation over to them. Then, you learn a little about who they are and they'll want to talk to you again later because not only have you done something interesting already, but they'll realize they don't know much about you.

If you're discussing how to get girls on a magic trick forum, you're hopelessly lost.

The irony is that eostresh and I get mocked and sneered at for providing information based on social science, psychology, and personal experience, but schmucky, defeatist, rude-ass answers like this are considered kosher.

(sigh) Sometimes it's a terrible burden being smarter than everyone else.
 
Aug 31, 2007
32
0
The irony is that eostresh and I get mocked and sneered at for providing information based on social science, psychology, and personal experience, but schmucky, defeatist, rude-ass answers like this are considered kosher.

(sigh) Sometimes it's a terrible burden being smarter than everyone else.


HAHAHAHAHAH I was just joking. You really need to chill with the big words and drama.
 
Apr 29, 2012
7
0
Dallas, TX
Severely misguided advice. Money and muscles can get that initial interest, but if you can't follow that up with a personality then you're just as sunk as before, only now you have a suit and an exercise routine.

In life as in magic, getting a "hook" in is an important first step. You can't get secondary interest and without initial interest. We dress a certain way, we act a certain way, we smile and laugh and present a certain way. A sulky, quiet, haphazard performer could be the best magician in the world, they'd fail. Same in dating. Being above 5'8" (trust me, at 5'6" I notice the difference between sneakers and boots), fit, well dressed, and well spoken, is the best way to get to know people you can then show that you're a good guy. If you don't get that first, five second, win, you'll have an uphill battle you'll lose more often than win.
 
Apr 29, 2012
7
0
Dallas, TX
The irony is that eostresh and I get mocked and sneered at for providing information based on social science, psychology, and personal experience, but schmucky, defeatist, rude-ass answers like this are considered kosher.

(sigh) Sometimes it's a terrible burden being smarter than everyone else.

The bigger problem is not with the individuals doing it. The idea of psychology and social sciences in magic has been thoroughly tarnished by that "pick up artist" culture. First, everyone has read "The Game" and the second you produce a pack of cards or levitate a cigarette you're automatically labeled as a sleaze by those who have. Which, after ten years on the market, is as I said almost anyone.

Secondly it's the "new performers" who walk into a magic shop, buy a DVD and gaff set, practice once, ruin the illusion, and wouldn't you know, will ruin it for everyone. A few weeks ago I did a paid closeup gig at a restaurant opening and three tables, independent from each other, started in on telling me about the "weird guy with the fuzzy hat" (everyone wants to be this guy called 'Mystery', no idea why... I didn't understand it when everyone wanted to be Criss Angel, either) who'd done the same and shown them his "strings" (loops) when he failed to levitate something. Irony or Ironies I wasn't using loops, but still the thing was blown.

I don't need to neg or analyze IOIs or whatever else this pop-psych babble suggests. I have no issues finding partners without it, but there seems to be a huge community of people who actually still believe in NLP (any serious psychologist will tell you it's mostly New Age bunk) and follow books by Neill Strauss or Mystery and their illegitimate love child, Tim Ferriss, slavishly while ruining it for the rest of us.

Personally I still think psychology is one of the indispensable pillars of magic but the amateurs with book knowledge kill it. That's why there are such harsh reactions.
 
Aug 31, 2007
32
0
The bigger problem is not with the individuals doing it. The idea of psychology and social sciences in magic has been thoroughly tarnished by that "pick up artist" culture. First, everyone has read "The Game" and the second you produce a pack of cards or levitate a cigarette you're automatically labeled as a sleaze by those who have. Which, after ten years on the market, is as I said almost anyone.

Secondly it's the "new performers" who walk into a magic shop, buy a DVD and gaff set, practice once, ruin the illusion, and wouldn't you know, will ruin it for everyone. A few weeks ago I did a paid closeup gig at a restaurant opening and three tables, independent from each other, started in on telling me about the "weird guy with the fuzzy hat" (everyone wants to be this guy called 'Mystery', no idea why... I didn't understand it when everyone wanted to be Criss Angel, either) who'd done the same and shown them his "strings" (loops) when he failed to levitate something. Irony or Ironies I wasn't using loops, but still the thing was blown.

I don't need to neg or analyze IOIs or whatever else this pop-psych babble suggests. I have no issues finding partners without it, but there seems to be a huge community of people who actually still believe in NLP (any serious psychologist will tell you it's mostly New Age bunk) and follow books by Neill Strauss or Mystery and their illegitimate love child, Tim Ferriss, slavishly while ruining it for the rest of us.

Personally I still think psychology is one of the indispensable pillars of magic but the amateurs with book knowledge kill it. That's why there are such harsh reactions.

You're forgetting that he's "...smarter than everyone else".

But seriously, you only have 3 posts and the 2 I've read are infinitely more intelligent than someone's 3,000-post, self-proclaimed intelligence.

As for NLP, I'll admit I had my phase (but I was more than proven wrong- good thing it only lasted a short while). I never used it to try to pick up girls, though (that's just creepy).
 

WitchDocIsIn

Elite Member
Sep 13, 2008
5,791
2,891
In life as in magic, getting a "hook" in is an important first step. You can't get secondary interest and without initial interest. We dress a certain way, we act a certain way, we smile and laugh and present a certain way. A sulky, quiet, haphazard performer could be the best magician in the world, they'd fail. Same in dating. Being above 5'8" (trust me, at 5'6" I notice the difference between sneakers and boots), fit, well dressed, and well spoken, is the best way to get to know people you can then show that you're a good guy. If you don't get that first, five second, win, you'll have an uphill battle you'll lose more often than win.

The point I'm trying to make is that the hook doesn't have to be the rubber-stamped corporate image, and in fact many people are turned off by that image because it so frequently comes along with arrogance. Also, people who spend all their time getting fit and working at corporate jobs tend to have nothing to talk about other than lifting weights and working in corporate America.

One of the most charming men I've ever known in my life was a guy that was about 5'7", with a beer gut, balding with a pony tail, usually wore jeans/khakis and a short-sleeved button up shirt, thick glasses, worked at Best Buy and collected toys and other sorts of things. He also was a huge geek/sci-fi enthusiast. Basically, every stereotype that usually works against a guy. But he is f'ing hilarious, and tells stories better than anyone I know. He also has such a wide range of knowledge that he can take part in any conversation and actually contribute. Most of the guys I know that do best with women do not wear suits, do not make tons of money, and do not conform to what society usually terms 'successful.' But they are interesting, funny, considerate, intelligent or a mix thereof.

Now, as a caveat, I do tend to run with an unusual crowd. I seek out artists, musicians and general weirdos. So your mileage may vary.
 
Feb 4, 2008
959
2
Now, as a caveat, I do tend to run with an unusual crowd. I seek out artists, musicians and general weirdos. So your mileage may vary.
That right there is a caveat that completely explains how you missed my original point. I don't mean that to be offensive...just educational. Within a community like you describe having collections of "things" is a conspicuous display of resources. I'm sure he doesn't still "play" with his toys. So the fact that he has them is an indicator that he has the resources to spend on completely unnecessary "fluff"....plumage if you will.

The plumage you adopt is culturally specific. I live in Korea now where "Machismo" doesn't seem to be a big attractor of women. Most of the guys who seem successful with the ladies are pretty "metro." However, I grew up in Wyoming where "machismo," in its various forms, was. In my home town, Laramie, home of some world class rock climbing, so climbers, alpinists, and back country ski bums kind of had a lock on the "check me out ladies," vibe. In Cody, it was the big game hunters(and to a lesser degree Ice Climbers.) And here I don't mean sit in a tree stand or duck blind sipping hot totties all day. These guys hiked and packed 15 to 20 miles in rough country to go bag an Elk. These guys were seriously going for the pre-Pleistocene male vibe. "Unk You woman....me man...me go get MEAT!"

So while I toss out a lot of flippant reductionist jokes about it the truth remains the same. Attract with plumage, (muscles, toys, fancy hair, fancy clothes, whatever fits your subculture) and display high status which means a high status job within your subculture. "No baby...I don't work at the comic book store.....I OWN the comic book store. Gimmie some sugar baby!"

And people can feel free to sneer at me if they like. When you study Sociobiology you get used to it. In the late 90s liberals seemed to think I was a sexist, bigoted, conservative racist for having the audacity to think that we were not all born with a "blank slate." Now conservatives think I am a hippy, stuck up, intelligentsia liberal because I don't believe the world was created 6,000 years ago. So pretty much guys who study the field I have studied get used to being hated by all sides. Oh well....doesn't change the three fundamental rules of life...

Eat....Reproduce.....Don't get EATEN!
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Sep 1, 2007
3,786
15
HAHAHAHAHAH I was just joking. You really need to chill with the big words and drama.

You're either lying or just not very good at telling jokes in text. I'm leaning on the latter.

Also, clearly you haven't seen me around before. If you had said something like, "I meant it as a joke, but I guess it didn't work," I would have apologized for snapping at you. But since you want to be this way, then forget it. I'm not a bad guy, but I don't suffer fools gladly.

Personally I still think psychology is one of the indispensable pillars of magic but the amateurs with book knowledge kill it. That's why there are such harsh reactions.

All you described are fair complaints, but that doesn't mean the knee-jerk reactions are correct. Especially since, in the context of my post, I was lamenting that trying to help will get you sneered at if you have an approach people don't like for one reason or another, but saying something rude or callous to the threadstarter typically never gets remarked upon.

I grow tired of these threads because it always ends with everyone either focusing on me instead of the guy who needs help to tell me that I sound like a rapist or whatever, people who want to be dicks, and people who want to tell the same painfully unfunny jokes (i.e. posting advice dog memes) without actually offering anything of value. I don't think I'm asking for a lot that people stop doing that and just try to help the guys who ask for it.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Aug 31, 2007
32
0
You're either lying or just not very good at telling jokes in text. I'm leaning on the latter.

Also, clearly you haven't seen me around before. If you had said something like, "I meant it as a joke, but I guess it didn't work," I would have apologized for snapping at you. But since you want to be this way, then forget it. I'm not a bad guy, but I don't suffer fools gladly.



All you described are fair complaints, but that doesn't mean the knee-jerk reactions are correct. Especially since, in the context of my post, I was lamenting that trying to help will get you sneered at if you have an approach people don't like for one reason or another, but saying something rude or callous to the threadstarter typically never gets remarked upon.

I grow tired of these threads because it always ends with everyone either focusing on me instead of the guy who needs help to tell me that I sound like a rapist or whatever, people who want to be dicks, and people who want to tell the same painfully unfunny jokes (i.e. posting advice dog memes) without actually offering anything of value. I don't think I'm asking for a lot that people stop doing that and just try to help the guys who ask for it.

Forget it? NO! :( Please apologize :(

Was that a better joke?

As far as helping him, girls are people. If you can impress people in general with your magic, then what's the difference between that and girls? There is none. And I'm assuming he already does impress people with his magic. IF you want to impress a girl with your magic, do magic for her. It's that simple.
 
Sep 1, 2007
3,786
15
As far as helping him, girls are people. If you can impress people in general with your magic, then what's the difference between that and girls? There is none. And I'm assuming he already does impress people with his magic. IF you want to impress a girl with your magic, do magic for her. It's that simple.

Impressing someone with skill is not the same thing as impressing them with personality. Magic is a great icebreaker, but you have to be able to hold a conversation without the magic or it's pointless. If you go in thinking that all you have to do is a card trick and your made, you're going to screw it up because soon the trick is over and you have no idea what to do next.

Don't try to use magic as a substitute for personality.
 
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