One liners

Discussion in 'Magic Forum' started by UnknownMagician93, Apr 30, 2010.

  1. Hey guys,

    So I know that alot of us magicians have little whitty comebacks for certain comments spectators make during a performance, so i thought we could make a thread where you could post/discuss the one liners you usually use.


    One of my favs is when Im performing for multiple people, one of them will say

    "Hold on I didn't see the card!!"

    Without pausing the trick, and without taking my eyes off my hands I say "don't worry you'll see it again in a second".


    post em up!
     
  2. spectator:
    HEY! whats that in your hand?

    Magician:
    Whats that behind your ear?


    I will be back to this thread......I'LL BE BACK!
     
  3. Take it easy on the haterade.
     
  4. Spectator at restaurant: Can you make my cheque disappear?

    Magician: No, but I can multiply it?
     
  5. Gazzo has a book of one liners. He has this specific one for hecklers, and it's really ballsy to say, but funny. Disclaimer: use at your own risk!

    Heckler: Oh I saw how you did that or my friends better or you suck...etc (something along those lines)

    Gazzo: Oh?!, you can do this trick? Okay, how about we switch roles, you can be the magician and I can be the @$$hole!

    Classic.
     
  6. I saw Gazzo at Kutztown. hes so freaking hilarious!
     
  7. ...seriosly,we should not play along with a heckler,magicians don't need that kind on his/her reputation,be humble guys when doing magic,we are already fooling them with the trick(s), we are so ahead of the spectator,all you need is a good convincer or a good out that will still credit your perfomance in magical way that is in the end.it is always best to be the good one.
     
  8. In response to "I saw that":

    "Well, you have better eyesight than I do!"

    Justin Miller - great stuff.

    Ian
     
  9. But not the most fun:)
     
  10. ...i don't think it's fun on the side of the magician, hecklers win all the fun if you bother to trash talk with them or show some interest in their heckling,they've already controlled you by just getting affected by their words or grabbing the deck,watch the video of david stone,i forgot the title(sorry),a lot of good tips there on dealing with hecklers,
     
  11. What are ya getting on about? Dealing with hecklers in a comedic and correct way can enhance your performance. Be humble? We are tricking the spectators? No no that is for the coyotes to do, I prefer entertaining my spectators and a good one liner or pun to combat a heckler like comment can be entertaining, plus it kind of feels like the op is just asking for lines to combat some common problems you may run into while performing and not specifically hecklers.

    Okay so these are a bit longer then one liners but meh!

    Spec: "Pull a quarter from behind my ear."
    "I would but it looks like hair gel is occupying that space at the moment." Leans in, "Is that hair gel?"

    Spec: "I forgot my card."
    "Wonderful! That means I get to test if you are psychic or not." Spreads the cards out, "Pick any card free choice all the way." Wait for them to pull out another card and they look at it. "Gasp, you found your card again you are psychic make sure you remember this monumental moment and card for the matter."

    Alternate to the above:

    "Did anyone else see her/his card?"
    Spec 2 "I did!"
    "What was it?"
    spec 2 "The three of spades!"
    Reveals the card and excepts thunderous applause. You may stop here or continue. If you do continue I am not liable for your actions.

    Once the card is revealed, get a staple gun and turn to the original spectator and staple the card over their eyes.
    "Do you remember your card now?"

    IDK I stink at one liners.
     
  12. aln_d: It's all depending on character and audience. Eddie Murphy did not create a career doing comedy that is politically correct. He was blunt, and in your face. This created a down to earth connections with the audience which only elevates the overall entertainment value. If you've watched any videos with Gazzo performing, he is the same way. He disses everyone!

    There is absolutely a risk for feeding into this type of behavior; however, if the opened canned of worms can be controlled, there are rewards to be reaped.

    As my coach has once said to me, "Be the guy in the white suit at the black suit and tie event". Grace is good... having cojones is memorable.

    Andy
     
  13. ...woot? ...sorry guys not my cup of tea, i have a respect for my magic and all the magicians that's why whenever i perform i make it sure that it is as clean as possible, there is comedy but nothing to play along with the heckler,it's just a waste of time and effort and pointless:p
     
  14. Well Mr. high and mighty do what you like then, but it is never good to ignore a problem :) if you do they just fester and become worse.

    *Scratches at a clearly infected wound on his arm*
     
  15. #15 aln_d, May 3, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: May 3, 2010
    ...hey! what's with the mr.high and mighty? if you wanna aggravate the heckler it's your choice ...for me to exert an effort for a heckler is like talkin or debating to a drunk guy ...so what's the point? ...your just making a fool out of yourself and that's what the heckler wants and he'll get if you entertain him ...there is a no win battle in dealing with a heckler ...this is my opinion based on learning some tips from older and proffessional magicians and also my experienced ...again watch david stones DVD,there are some pointers on dealing with the hecklers ...and if the problem is the heckler it's not a real problem then,all you have to do is go to another spectator that is more worthy of your entertainment in magic
     
  16. what a heckler wants is to see you mess up. So, when you succeed, he doesnt get what he wants. Why not loosen him up with a whitty line? Maybe make him enjoy your performance.


    If you dip-out on a heckler and go to another guy, he'll rip you forever saying "I figured this guy out, so he left so I wouldn't expose his tricks".


    Im beginning to seriously doubt that you perform live.
     
  17. I actually agree with aln_d, albeit not the way he expresses it.

    This is the way I see things: a heckler is not just a heckler. A heckler is an audience member. An annoying type of audience member, but an audience member nonetheless.

    When I perform magic, my biggest concern is entertaining the spectators - and that means all the spectators. I firmly believe that hecklers should be dealt with by not giving them a reason to heckle in the first place - primarily issues to do with establishing rapport. I don't allow myself to pick and choose between who I like and who I don't like. I personally feel that if I leave one spectator put down, embarrassed, angry, sulky, or upset, then I have failed in what I do.

    It only takes one to ruin the mood. Sure, the heckler may not heckle again, but you can be sure that everyone senses it. I liken it to free speech (forgive me if this is something of a stretch) - but the crucial thing about free speech is that it gives someone the right to say things I don't like. It gives someone the right to say stupid things. I don't get to pick and choose. Well, I don't pick and choose with spectators. My goal is to entertain everyone, and I mean everyone.

    You can talk all day about the extreme ones. But how many times do you actually encounter an extreme heckler? You can theoretically go on forever, creating demon images of horrendous, villainous, cruel... hecklers (!).

    When it comes down to practical performance though, a heckler is just another spectator that I aim to entertain. And one should never lose sight of that. Putting down any spectator, even if they are difficult, is a no-no in my opinion.

    And if you did happen to perform to someone who just doesn't want to be entertained... Whoops! Your bad! What the heck are you doing performing there anyway? Did you walk up to them threatening them to watch your magic trick, or else?

    Let's look at some of the examples of hecklers above. Note that this is no reflection on the people who posted these. Some where made outside the context of heckling. I'm simply appropriating these to fit my purpose.

    "Pull a quarter from my ear."
    Should we put down the heckler?

    Wrong. This is YOUR fault.

    Why? The stereotype of the magician is a man in a tuxedo pulling rabbits out of a top hat. It's your uncle pulling quarters from a child's ear.

    If you can't break this mold - if you cannot present yourself in a distinctive enough way - if you can't make an impression on the audience about who you are, contrary to the stereotype - whose fault is that?

    If I am addressed in relation to any sort of magical stereotype, then I know that I have not been original enough. I know that I need to project my personality more, and to emphasise that I am not a stereotype. I am a performer, and I perform amazing feats. I need to work on my performing persona, and make sure that I appear as more than a kid performing tricks. Because that's what a guy pulling a quarter from someone's ear is, in this context.

    Another one from this thread: "What's that in your hand?"

    Should we put down the "heckler"?

    Hell, no! You ****ed up! Go home, and practice more!

    It's clear that what has happened in that you made a handling error. Why on earth would you even consider putting someone down for your own mistake?

    And if he's pointing to an obviously empty hand - "Pixie dust." - No need to put down the poor spectator in any case!

    And one more example: "Hold on, I didn't see the card"

    Should we put down the heckler?

    What heckler?!

    You moved too fast. That's it. This should never, ever happen. There's absolutely no excuse or reason for it to. If you give a spectator a card, and ask them to remember it, it would take someone with amnesia to forget the card - and if they have amnesia, don't pick them! Again, this is YOUR fault, and it points to an area where YOU can IMPROVE. Be thankful for it, and move on.

    The reality is that magicians tend to think of hecklers too much as simply a group in and of themselves. There's us magicians, there are spectators, and there are demons (hecklers). Not so. There are magicians, and there are spectators. Go out and entertain.
     
    DanK5 likes this.
  18. Well, this thread has gone way off topic. It went from one-liners to flawed logic on hecklers, and a crazy amount of bad ellipsis. What happened to constructing understandable sentences?

    Anyway, here are some one-liners from Doc Eason:

    I don't know what your problem is,
    but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce!

    How about never? Is never good for you?

    I see you've set aside this special time
    to humiliate yourself in public

    I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

    It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
     
  19. ^^ hahaha Epic one-liners man. Just epic..
     

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