Portal Addition

Nov 11, 2009
194
0
well personally it wasnt my favorite performance
and I thought it was kinda confusing

I think it could be really cool with some more work
 
Jun 1, 2009
1,066
6
Not bad, it does need some work. Play more magician in trouble than pissed off magician, the vibe gets off a bit. The swear word wasn't necessary.
Why is the joker face up? That part seemed a little unjustified/unexplained.

You have a nice idea, just refine it a bit and you have a good effect.
Your boy,
Fez
 
Dec 18, 2009
399
1
Hahahaha! I love your performance. Very funny lol. Unlike the other comments I think it is very good. I like it alot. "I learned this from Hogwartz." lmao.
 
Dec 4, 2009
8
0
Not bad, it does need some work. Play more magician in trouble than pissed off magician, the vibe gets off a bit. The swear word wasn't necessary.
Why is the joker face up? That part seemed a little unjustified/unexplained.

You have a nice idea, just refine it a bit and you have a good effect.
Your boy,
Fez
Cmon now you can figure out why the joker was there.. it was between the kings? and I'm glad at least one person here liked it : D
 
Jun 1, 2009
1,066
6
Cmon now you can figure out why the joker was there.. it was between the kings? and I'm glad at least one person here liked it : D

I never said I didn't like it, I said its a good idea and needs some refining. My question was concerning when you spread the cards and joker is randomly face up in the middle. I get the concept, but the audience never recieved any reason for it. If you had said "Alright, this time the snap makes your card turn face up....Oh dang! the joker again!" or something like that, it would've given it justification.

Hope that clears things up.

Your boy,
Fez
 
Jun 1, 2009
1,066
6
no im saying work on it, practice, over and over again.
make it smooth, work on handling the kings better.
Second that.

Patter wise-its a nice, funny feel if your known as that. But edit out the swearing. Its ok to play a frustrated magician, but not a pissed off magician. You don't want to explode, just like "Crap, there it is again!" Not "God D**n it!"

Make it more natural and just flow better. If you really like this routine, do it over and over so you don't forget it and you can keep it in your arsenal.

We are just giving constructive advice, don't take it as a slamming.

Your boy,
Fez
 
Dec 4, 2009
8
0
Thank you guys so much for all your opinions and what not : ) just one more question so your saying the way i handle the kings isn't natural? is that the only thing that needs work or is there more please criticize like you've never criticized before.
 
Oct 15, 2008
826
0
Tennessee
mainly the kings, just your over all smoothness with the deck.
Its not really a huge thing, it just comes with practice.

When you turn over the two kings, and when you drag them off the deck. Those to moves just need to be more natural.

keep up the good work
 
Jun 1, 2009
1,066
6
criticize like you've never criticized before.

You asked for it... :D

If you want a full video analysis...here it goes:
Turnover: Nice, that was smooth.
Flip: Not so nice, if you playing a "magician in trouble" card, "showing off" with the cards won't suck the audience into that role, you want them to believe you messed up.
When you first turn over the kings, it does seem a bit unnatural. Try and do them both the same way and smoother.
The move from 48-52 seconds is, not good, to say the least. I know what you're trying to accomplish here, and there are most likely different (and better methods) of that. Either look those up or try and get into a different situation where that move is not needed.

Get the patter down better-you repeated or had to go back and add something in and that was distracting. Keep the funny lines, just get them down better.

For the reveal, show the kings have a face down card between them, not a face up card between two face down kings. It builds suspense and seems more magical because it was not there before.

Favorite Phrases: "Just like that" and "for the time being" cut down on the amount of those.

There you go. Hope it helps

Your boy,
Fez
 
Nov 15, 2007
1,106
2
35
Raleigh, NC
I watched it through once and it was okay. The plot isn't horrible, a bit confusing, but that is easily worked out.

Take the kings off first, set them aside. If you flip both over together lift 3 and show, put them down switching order...it'll accomplish the same thing a little smoother.

When you wave the kings, do it further away from the deck, shake both hands and let one go into the deck and then let the kings have a card. Bringing it together makes it seem fishy and will have spectators thinking of methods we could never do...though they will now think there is a method.

Clean up the ideas. When you say 'I learned this at hogwarts' don't just snap, say something like 'cardo reverso' (tongue in cheek, obviously) and then have the joker reversed.

You weren't set-up for ease of handling, if the table for the kings was on your right side it would have helped, the packet shouldn't come close to the deck, maybe put the deck down and pick up the kings or something.

Maybe start out by taking the kings out and then saying 'In just a moment I'll get your card to jump to these kings'. *card selected, do portal to show how you can have the card jump* then say that you'll do it again. *do first motion, nothing on other side* Look at the kings and pick them up, Joker.

Then go on.

This is what everyone else is saying, the creativity is good and the scripting works for your character, just clean it up and make everything 'flow' a little better.
 
Jul 2, 2008
125
0
Absolutely did not make sense for me. What was the whole shebang about the deck for? I understand time misdirection, but it wasn't clear enough (or rather it wasn't fair enough) that they really were the kings. I think that the original portal move in the beginning was really the most surprising part to an audience, but it's... in the beginning! The "climax" was not really the climax.

Although great persona... maybe tone down the angry part. Love your performance, keep it up.
 

Jv

Jan 11, 2008
1,223
26
I like the additional touches you added to 'Portal', but I found it a little confusing and at times, and hard to follow along. Nonetheless, I thought it was alright, but just remember to keep working on making everything smooth and making everything flow together.
 
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