What's the goal for this video?
You mentioned you wanted a shorter video so planners are inclined to check it out - the problem is that planners also want to know what they are getting, and this video doesn't entirely show that. This is kind of a teaser - the kind of thing someone would put out to entice people to see a show (ie: buy a ticket), not book it for an event they are planning.
When a planner is arranging an event, their primary motivation is to make sure the event is well received by the audience. Half the time they don't even care what the act on stage is, as long as it makes the patrons happy. When I watch this, as a patron I'm intrigued, but as a person who arranges events I'm thinking, "Ok I saw something with a coin I think, there were needles on thread, he was shirtless at one point what's that about ... " I don't get a feel for what your show actually is.
One way to get extra video footage on a budget is to plan a show specifically for that purpose. Tell your friends and family and whoever else that you're throwing a party, you'll be the live entertainment. Find a place with good lighting (I've made that mistake too many times already), and do your show as if it were a regular performance. Get some testimonials afterward, but don't fill your video with testimonials (it ends up sounding fake if it 's more than, say, 3 quick ones). The advantage of this, for some people, is that if it's people you know you might be more comfortable with bantering and such which can be a great bonus for someone looking to book you later - they want to know you can entertain the crowd.
So now the positive stuff, to end on a high note.
Nothing in the video annoyed me, which is a nice change (I get sent a lot of annoying videos). You did the music well, you didn't overdue the video effects (in my opinion), your audiences were having a great time. I think this will be a great start for promo videos and you'll be able to use it to generate interest in your show, which is a good thing.
