rejection: how do you handle it?

Aug 17, 2008
473
13
Ann Arbor, MI
Hey guys,

So this thread is about rejection. I am mainly starting this thread because I just got rejected about five minutes ago.

But my question is, how do you handle it? Do you just walk away saying, "okay."? Or what? Also, why do you think that people actually reject a trick? Could it be what you're wearing & how you look? Could it be where you are?

Because im guessing this couple said no because of those two things. I have really tight black pants on, a black band shirt & long hair. This possibly could be the reason. I just wanted to know what you guys thought & what you do when you get that awful answer, "no".


-blake.
 
Hey guys,

So this thread is about rejection. I am mainly starting this thread because I just got rejected about five minutes ago.

But my question is, how do you handle it? Do you just walk away saying, "okay."? Or what? Also, why do you think that people actually reject a trick? Could it be what you're wearing & how you look? Could it be where you are?

Because im guessing this couple said no because of those two things. I have really tight black pants on, a black band shirt & long hair. This possibly could be the reason. I just wanted to know what you guys thought & what you do when you get that awful answer, "no".


-blake.

u also forgot another reason why they might have rejected you, they might be in a hurry, or in an intimate private discussion.

BUT, if not, then you can safely assume it was because of your look. Maybe you looked like a punk druggie guy or something? I like to live my life with the motto "There is no such thing as rejection, only feedback".

Anyways, how I deal with rejection, I just say "oh alright, have a nice day then" Then I give a good smile :)

Could it be what you're wearing & how you look? Could it be where you are?

You don't want to be dressed TERRIBLY, you want to be well groomed, if you have long nails, cut them. Makes you more professional like. Make sure your hair isn't all crazy like. Make sure you don't have food in your teeth or anything. Just be well GROOMED.

Also, location is also key... Don't be doing magic tricks at a funeral. Bad voodoo.
 
Nov 8, 2009
131
0
At the restaurant where I work, I always leave it open for people to say no if they want, I'm not a fan of the whole David Stone approach, So i sometimes get rejected.

In a restaurant environment Its easier sometimes because there is another table right after, but harder at the same time, because you're not really what they expected to see...

I've been told to not take it personally, just know that they are missing out.
 
NEVER take it personally. There are tons of reasons why you get can rejected, and a lot of them have nothing to do with a person not liking you. They might be in a hurry, or they're having a really bad day and just aren't in the mood to interact with anyone. Just tell them to have a nice day and move on to someone else. It's not about the people who say no, but rather about the people who say yes.

Also, your attire could have something to do with it. Magic is supposed to be an elegant art form. You want to look presentable and respectable when you're performing.
 
Aug 17, 2008
473
13
Ann Arbor, MI
hey guys, I love the responses. I think ou guys are totally right. I didn't take it personally at all. just wanted to see what you guys thought of it. but one thing I dont really go by is the "look". I get that you have to look presentable but I'm gonna keep my look. I mean, come on. look at Dan Sperry ;D
 
Nov 8, 2009
131
0
Dan Sperry, In his full stage outfit, would scare the hell out of restaurant customers.
I think it's something to take into account, because there is an appropriate attire for each place.

I mean people pay to see dan sperry, and they know his look beforehand, but Im not sure how many strangers would say yes if he approached them on the street...
 
Nov 20, 2007
4,434
6
Sydney, Australia
hey guys, I love the responses. I think ou guys are totally right. I didn't take it personally at all. just wanted to see what you guys thought of it. but one thing I dont really go by is the "look". I get that you have to look presentable but I'm gonna keep my look. I mean, come on. look at Dan Sperry ;D

I like that you're comfortable with your look and are willing to defend it. I just want to point out that Dan Sperry is not where you are right now. He's not in a small town approaching people asking them to perform card tricks. I say this to note that as long as you are aware that society does judge by appearance, and recognise the reality that your look will open up some opportunities but also close up others, then you'll be fine. Certain exceptions exist, but they are not the rule by a long shot, and Dan Sperry's success should not cloud your judgment like Anakin Skywalker's love for Padmé clouded his.

Oh, yeah. I totally just said that.
 
Nov 8, 2009
131
0
I like that you're comfortable with your look and are willing to defend it. I just want to point out that Dan Sperry is not where you are right now. He's not in a small town approaching people asking them to perform card tricks. I say this to note that as long as you are aware that society does judge by appearance, and recognise the reality that your look will open up some opportunities but also close up others, then you'll be fine. Certain exceptions exist, but they are not the rule by a long shot, and Dan Sperry's success should not cloud your judgment like Anakin Skywalker's love for Padmé clouded his.

Oh, yeah. I totally just said that.


You're my hero.
 
Aug 17, 2008
473
13
Ann Arbor, MI
I like that you're comfortable with your look and are willing to defend it. I just want to point out that Dan Sperry is not where you are right now. He's not in a small town approaching people asking them to perform card tricks. I say this to note that as long as you are aware that society does judge by appearance, and recognise the reality that your look will open up some opportunities but also close up others, then you'll be fine. Certain exceptions exist, but they are not the rule by a long shot, and Dan Sperry's success should not cloud your judgment like Anakin Skywalker's love for Padmé clouded his.

Oh, yeah. I totally just said that.

I totally understand what you're saying and yes, I'm completely aware of people making judgements of what I wear. thank you for all your words of wisdom :)
 
Mar 6, 2008
1,483
3
A Land Down Under
There is a phrase in sales that with every no you get you are one closer to getting a yes.

Basically when you approach someone the first thing you should do is qualify them, there is no way to do this 100% but the more you do it the better you get.

The best way is if you try to think about why it did not work and how you will approach it differently next time.
 

RickEverhart

forum moderator / t11
Moderator
Sep 14, 2008
3,655
465
42
Louisville, OH
As an adult, and listening to your description of how you look, I would venture to say that this played a big part. But keep in mind that is coming from and adult. Other teens and kids could care less about your appearance but the minute an adult sees band t-shirt, jeans, large amounts of black clothing, any painted nails, etc....they see trouble coming. Hate to say it but that is just how society places stereotypes.
 
Aug 17, 2010
411
4
If rejection is really hard on you, maybe reconsider the performing arts. It's full of rejection.

People will turn you down, boo you, heckle you, insult you, rip you off, you'll fail auditions, lose jobs, and be told that you suck.

Sad but true. Most performers who have been at it for any period of time have had one or more of these happen to them. Best to develop a thick skin if you wish to perform.
 
Aug 11, 2011
13
0
Two things to keep in mind I think : Be approchable and polite.

I mean, we are more enclined to see someone's magic if he's being approchable and nice. That means that your look must fit the image you want to convey as a performer.
And be polite. Everyone likes people smiling.

Whenever I'm rejected, I just smile and tell them "Oh, well, I hope you have a nice day/evening !", while remaining calm. Do not appear "needy". You are a performer, you don't have to beg people to watch your magic.
I think that if you saw a street guitarist that told you "Stay here, I'm gonna play incredible music soon !", you would immediately qualify him badly and you most likely wouldn't want to listen to him.

I think that's the same thing with magic. We might make the first step, but remember, if you get rejected, they have more to lose than you.
 
But my question is, how do you handle it (rejection)? Do you just walk away saying, "okay."? Or what? Also, why do you think that people actually reject a trick? Could it be what you're wearing & how you look? Could it be where you are?

Because im guessing this couple said no because of those two things. I have really tight black pants on, a black band shirt & long hair. This possibly could be the reason. I just wanted to know what you guys thought & what you do when you get that awful answer, "no".

-blake.

Blake-
Rejection is something you're going to learn to deal with in the entertainment industry, because if you can't you will not stay a magician for long. It really is not anything too serious, as it happens to all of us. You just learn to move on. I always keep this mentality: "Okay- Their loss." I've had tables before in walk around gigs turn me down, only to request me an hour later after they see how much fun their missing by watching everyone else around them. When you get turned down, you just say thank you, or okay, and move on.

As for what causes it? It could be any number of things. Some possibilities include:
  • Busy with another conversation
  • Grumpy from a bad day
  • They don't want to feel obligated to tip you when you're done
  • They suspect you have alternative motives
  • They don't see any value in giving you their attention/time
  • They don't like the way you look, smell, talk
  • They are pressed for time, or are other wise preoccupied
  • They don't like magic/magicians
  • Etc

Just put it out of sight out of mind, and move on man. Like others have said, don't take it personally you're doing fine!
 
you got rejected 5 minutes ago and came here to tell us about what to do? well you should have kept going. if people dont want to see your magic, it is truly their loss. i would keep at it and dont let it get you down. there are people out there who hate magicians and magic or just dont feel like it. some people are just too busy to be willing to watch or they just dont feel like it. it isnt anything against you as a person (unless you did something personally or have a bad introduction) just keep practicing and working on performing :)
 
Aug 17, 2008
473
13
Ann Arbor, MI
Hey guys,

I see tons of you guys aee giving me advice saying "don't take it personally" & "just keep going & move on".

This wasn't what I was looking for. I was just wondering what you guys did & thought about rejection. But still, the responses are great!
 
Aug 17, 2010
411
4
What I did - kept on trying.
What I thought - "This is what I signed up for; the arts are cruel, and rejection is part of it. No biggie - tomorrow is another day. Now, is there anything I can do to improve my chances next time?"
 
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