Sonnet (Italian)

[aznofspades]

School project:

Eminem, Joker, and Tyler Durden
Add Bruce Lee , BAM! me, Mike Gee, Magician
More than some quick tricks, I’m on a mission
But spreading magic is not a burden
Helps me, gives me an adrenalin rush
A high, that gets me by, helps me forget
Cuz I’m in the moment, with no regrets
I’m inches away, but too real to touch
I meet new people and I make new friends
They meet the real me and then in the end
While they scream “WTF” in disbelief
I get a few seconds of relief
By creating my own reality
That I can control in totality

Tell me what you think?

 

[James Smith]

Pretty good. I don't really like the second and tenth lines. I can't put my finger on why.

 

[aznofspades]

Ok I changed it because I realized I messed up the rhyme scheme so here:

MAGIC

Eminem, Joker, and Tyler Durden
Add Bruce Lee , BAM! me, Mike Gee, Magician
More than quick tricks, above all, a vision
But spreading magic is not a burden
Helps me, gives me an adrenalin rush
A high, that gets me by, helps me forget
Cuz I’m in the moment, with no regrets
It's inches away, but too real to touch
I meet new people and I make new friends
They meet the real me, what's underneath
All the time practicing was time well spent
And then the final punchline, in the end
While they scream “WTF” in disbelief
I lose myself in their astonishment