Ancient bards of old used to sing epic compositions of harmonious tunes, often in regards to the great magi of their times. Here is a verse translated from it's original Sumerian context.
"Dude, that guy over there just took his hand
and around his thumb, placed a rubber band,
pulled it through as if his flesh were sand,
and was immediately killed for witchcraft,
Above us you look to the heavens on high,
we cannot see them, but there are Angels in the sky,
one of them's name is Kriss, he's supa fly,
few magicians are fond of him and we don't know whyyyyyy...
My master's home is made of cobblestone and bricks,
on the ceiling in one room, his signed card still sticks,
we haven't invented TV yet so it can't be a camera trick,
I'm still enchanted by the way he said 'any card, you may pick'
Afterwards, I go online and am told to 'turn up the sound'
this coffee shop experience just got hella turned around
with a mixture of despair and joy, my heart does abound
and by the way I like Pizza"
The rhymes for the last lines on the first and last pairs of couplets were lost in translation. Clearly Shakespearean Iambic Pentameter was not in play during the composition of this ballad. Scholars from a variety of universities are using this recently found slab of etchings to determine whose idea pizza really was, and just how far back it dates. Here's the original text found on an ancient cuneiform in Eastern Mesopotamia so that you can translate it for yourself if you don't believe me:
