Thinking about stop doing magic

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Wir3d_, Dec 24, 2020.

  1. Hi guys, this is my first time posting here... i'm italian so i hope my grammar will not distract you from the topic.
    I started doing magic like 5 years ago, i did several live performance during partys and also live shows ... and also a lot of street magic. Let's say that in my town i was "famous". I can say that i'm a very good performer (ok i'll sto licking my self i promise). 5 month ago i decided to move up to Germany with my girlfriend because she cannot find a job and i also realised that magic is not something i can really do for living (in italy is impossible). We don't have friends here, i also don't speak german so for me is quite impossible to perform (i also live in a small town, the big city is 1 hour far from here) twice i had the occasion to perform for colleagues just because that 2 days were really chill at work due to corona virus. The only one i can really perform to is my girlfriend but she doesn't like magic because in italy girls were used to talk with me because of my magician "fame" there and she does her best for sabotage the tricks i show her in private, in public she looks proud of me when people back then in the streets asked me for a signature or a trick. I'm really going into depression because i really want to keep doing magic but this walls around me doesn't allow me to get motivation to continue...
  2. Welcome to the Theory XI Forums!

    Let me reiterate what I think you mean, and you can correct me if I get anything wrong:-

    You have been performing magic live (including shows) for years now and you love doing that. You also consider yourself a good magician. But after moving to Germany, considering magic as a full-time job isn't an option due to financial reasons. It's also become difficult for you to get a chance to perform magic. Your girlfriend heckles (but not in a rude, demeaning manner, I'm assuming) you when you perform for her in private, but when you perform publicly she is proud of you. You also seem to have developed enough fame by doing magic that people used to ask you for autographs, back in your town.


    The more serious issue first, when you say you're going into depression, do you mean that you feel depressed or you think you are suffering from clinical depression?

    Clinical depression is a mental health disorder which is usually characterised by persistent depression and also severely affects our daily life. If you think this is the issue, you should really try and get professional help. It's very serious and you should not really take into account people's views on the internet (where anybody can say anything with zero accountability and absolute anonymity) on this matter.

    If you think you feel depressed, maybe you're dealing with situational depression. In that case too, you should consider therapy. It's more often a result of stress than anything else (take whatever I'm saying with a huge pinch of salt, I am no psychologist or psychiatrist).


    If you really feel like you want to stop doing magic, it's up to you to make that choice. It's completely fine to not want to continue doing magic. At the end of the day, it's just another art form. Magic isn't the only thing that makes you (or any of us) a human being. If doing magic had made you so popular that people asked for your autographs, rest assured, you're a charming person even without the Ambitious Card Routine.

    It's just that the way you put it, it doesn't seem like you want to stop doing magic.

    Have you tried to talk about this with your girlfriend? I'm sure she'll try and help you. If it's her heckling ('sabotaging' as you call it, but I don't think it's that extreme) that's bothering you, talk with her, maybe she isn't aware how it's affecting you. When I show my magic to my sister, she usually heckles the living soul out of me, and her reason is "I am trying to prepare you for the worst case scenario when you perform for strangers". Looking at this situation like that might help. I try to take it as a challenge. In my mind, if I can keep my sister interested and get her to react well, I'm performing well. But I talked with her about it anyways and she has toned it down since. Talk with your girlfriend regardless. She understands you more than any of us and will be of far more help than any of us.

    If your feelings are a result of you not being able to perform magic, the good thing is that now you have discovered a website with a forum that has more than 350K members, and hundreds of active users. You can post your effect on here for feedback, you can talk about magic (theory, gimmicks, sleight of hand, OTHER magicians' performances, you name it) with other magicians of all skill levels, you can post your own opinions on magic, you can help others develop their performances, and so much more.

    (Just stay away from exposing anything, and it's all fine.)

    A lot of us have faced this issue, especially this year. With the pandemic, the lockdown and everything, a lot of us feel very disconnected. Magic is a performance-based art, that is why not being able to go out and perform has affected a lot of magicians. You're not alone, we're all in this together. As I said, you can post videos of your performances on the forums, and if it helps, you can find a lot of self-help measures (like meditation) which can help you in feeling better in general.

    Did you earn with magic in the past? Maybe then you shouldn't dismiss magic as an option for a career so quickly. If you want, you can post a thread or check out old threads on how to go professional with magic.

    You can, of course, keep doing magic, even if you don't pursue it professionally . Just, as long as this pandemic continues, you have to find different avenues and ways of presenting your magic. The internet by the way, has never been more helpful and valuable before 2020. ;)

    All the best and remember, you can talk to anybody here for anything magic. :)
  3. I am truly sorry to hear about your struggles. Magic is something that is highly dependent on the environment it is performed. I bet you could tell between stage and street, much less two different countries and cultures. If you are determined to keep performing, I have two suggestions.

    One is to learn German. This is probably the most technically difficult option to take.

    Two is to create a silent act! Teller is the picturesque example of this option. His act could take him around the world. His needle swallowing routine worked just the same in an American auditorium and in a rural village in China. Tom Mullica, who you may know from his cigarette swallowing act, is also a great example. Red Skelton, a cultural phenomenon back in the 20th century, advised Tom to create a silent act in order to appeal to a worldwide audience. He took the advice and ended up performing in Paris, France for over 6 years! And he's from Wisconsin! This option is more difficult magically. Making yourself a silent magician means finding a new approach to your magic and possibly even changing your whole style.

    It is awful that your girlfriend is not showing you any support. Unfortunately, I have no advice for that. Personally I would not take any relationship advice from a stranger online, much less on a magic forum.
  4. However, it is important to note that the significant others of magicians generally hate magic. This phenomenon is so widespread, it has become a stereotype among the pros. In a podcast with Johnny Thompson, Bob White, and Harry Riser (all of whom were Charlie Miller's proteges), Harry Riser mentioned how his wife hated all of his magic. All of them proceeded to laugh and joke about the commonality of that. If you're happy with your girlfriend in all other important aspects except this, perhaps you just need to come to terms with the fact that she will never be your magic fan.
    T.van.Riotson likes this.
  5. Hey there,
    I myself live in Germany. I came here from Romania.
    I am not a popular magician and realized that in Germany i will probably never be. That didn't stop me though from loving magic and perfoing it also even for my dog (which by the way is not interested at all about magic) or for the kids of my friends (the only spectators which will show some interest in what i am performing). I thought i might not be good at it and stoped for a while falling in to self desapointness and sadness until i realized it was not about me. You see germans are very much what is called in german klückscheisser. I realised that Germany doesnt even really had magicians and magic never was "THE THINK" here even though there are great magicians out there who come from yeah...i don t think you shall take it that serious, its a beautiful hobby, do it with your heart for anyone who seem interested, and if you do it with your heart there will be people to apreciate it, just what you do from the heart will warp up other hearts, there are also other beautiful hobbys as well if you wanna stop doing magic or to add something wich will make you more happy and keep magic as your secret power for special moments and i don't think is a must doing a career out of any of them.
    Is just my personal opinion,
    Excuse my english and a happy new year.
  6. I joined here just because of your post!

    Remember, your significant other has magic forced on her, even if she isn't made to watch you at all! Magic becomes a thing they may may feel they are vying for time against. It's natural for a wife, husband, girl/boyfriend to dislike your hobbies! I think it is largely inevitable.

    My own wife hates me showing her tricks, but loves me performing for others. Why? I don't know.

    You're in a new place, dealing with new things, so is she. Times are tough, you lack the notoriety you had, and you both are away from the comforts you were used to.
    Of course she would believe your time is better spent doing something she wants! I imagine you as well think she could spend her time better.
    That doesn't mean you quit!

    I also deal with depression, I would say quitting magic, which you seem to love, would be among the worse things you can do depressed. Take away my animals and my magic and I'd go (more) insane.

    Perhaps consider the places you perform more closely. Perform more as a "treat" than an "expectation".
    Learn some Silent magic! Retrofit your tricks to be silent. It can actually be a lot of fun learning to convey a message with your behavior instead of words.
    To me magic is cathartic, even if I don't perform.
    RealityOne and T.van.Riotson like this.
  7. You may have to at least try to make your performance virtual, also because of the virus it makes the most sense. Unfortunately almost everyone in the world has been affected in some way but try not to feel too discouraged. I am almost in the same boat, well in my case I don't have any friend at all but even still that is no reason to quit. Especially if it's something that in any way enlivens you or that gives you any sort of joy even if it's not monetary. As the saying goes that the tempered sword becomes stronger, perhaps you can bring your performance to others in other alternate ways, and maybe that can make you an even better magician. I do understand the doubt of whether it is something worth doing, but if it is something that brings joy to you and others, no matter how minimal, then yes it's definitely worth it.

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