He talks to much. It somehow gets in the way of the appreciation of the trick. If the trick requires him to talk, then that trick should be revised to remove the talking part of the performer. The other magicians let their tricks do the talking and its more effective in leaving a magical mark on the audiences' minds after the show.
I think the issue is not with the fact that they are saying something, but the fact that the what they are saying doesn't connect with you.
Speaking for myself, I, as an audience of a magic performance has expectation of an amazing visual and emotional experience,... the magician need not tell me that in the next instant the rabbit will appear at the other hat. I don't want the magician to tell me the sequence of the trick, I want him to just do it and amaze me. I watched a magic show and got amazed with tricks.
Telling someone what they are going to do is (quoting
@ChristopherT quoting Eugene Burger) narrating the adventures of the props in the magician's hands. Nobody whats to hear that. Good presentation goes beyond that in that good presentation: 1) should accompany strong magic; 2) should have a clear relationship with the magic (and not just be something that sounds like it was made up to you had something to say); 3) should be able to stand on its own as being entertaining; and 4) should touch the audience's emotions, intellect and/or sense of humor. At the end of the day, good presentation becomes inseparable from the magic. When people talk about effects I perform, they remember it like "when you were talking about [insert topic] and did [insert effect]."
So for books, I would divide books between theory and presentation:
THEORY
Strong Magic - Darwin Ortiz. This is a lot of theory that really only makes sense after you have been performing for a while. It is a hefty read and a lot of the theories in the book need to be examined against your own experience. I agree with a lot of what Darwin says, but disagree with some of his analysis and some of his conclusions. I disagree a bit with his conclusion about challenge magic (especially related to Slydini who used a challenge as part of his character which worked very well for him) but think that he doesn't go far enough because I think that say-do-see patter (where the performer focuses on is saying what they are going to do, doing it and telling the audience to see the result) has the performer talking about what they are doing inevitably leaves the audience to thinking about how they are doing it. I also disagree (in part) about his ideas about suspension of disbelief and encouraging belief. To me, a magician's job is to have the audience "suspend belief" where we view a magic show much like a movie -- we know the movie is a bunch of still frames being shown in rapid sequence and that what is happening in the film is not real but that we suspend that knowledge in order to enjoy the film).
The Fitzke Trilogy. This is a tough read. It is a bit self-aggrandizing and, as ChristopherT pointed out, Fitzke doesn't think that magic is strong enough to stand on its own, so it needs music and sequin clad women. I have no objections to music or sequin clad women, but with everything else you add to an effect, you need to have a justification for it. Fitzke's justification is that magic isn't entertaining on its own. That may be a reflection of the times that Fitzke was writing. It is worth reading the Fitzke Trilogy to give you perspectives and something to think about.
Maximum Entertainment - Ken Webber. This is more practical than theory. You should never perform a professional show without having read that book. Ken does a great job and provides very specific and practical advice regarding words to use (or not use), how to treat volunteers, how to deal with venues and a lot more. This was an afternoon's read for me and a book I've reread a second time and still enjoyed.
Magic and Showmanship - Henning Nelms. I like this book because it talks about ideas and theory in the context of effects. However, none of the effects are really that good. For the price, it is a good read.
Designing Miracles - Darwin Ortiz. This talks about the design of effects, something I've always been enamored with. It gives you a lot of good terminology and theory to work with and gives good examples of how the theory works.
Five Points in Magic - Juan Tamariz. An easy read and something that you should be thinking about in your performance. It is worth it solely to learn the "crossing the gaze" move but you will learn a lot more.
The Magic Way - Juan Tamariz. OK, so I disagree somewhat with the idea that the best way to make an effect seem impossible is to lead an audience down a path where they think it is done through one method and then disproving that method. If they are thinking about the method, then you have failed to present magic. That said, there is a tremendous amount of information about how to subtly structure and effect to make if more impossible.
The Magic Mirror - David Parr and Robert E. Neale. A profound reflection on magic (see what I did there?). This is graduate level philosophical stuff. I fully buy into his theory about magic being a reflection of ourselves shown to the audience so that they can see themselves in our magic.
Books of Wonder - Tommy Wonder. These are a mix of theory essays and magic tricks. His work on misdirection is seminal and his work on the "too perfect" theory (along with several articles posted years ago by others in Genii) are essential reading.
PRESENTATION
Transformations - Larry Haas. I like Larry's approach. I like how he designs scripts. Some scripts ask too much of the effect (as an example, I like Bannon's original Play it Straight better than Larry's presentation). His idea of how to take a trick and turn it into a presentation piece has changed how I think about magic and has made my life much more difficult because I can't just perform a trick anymore without over contemplating it and working it until it becomes something amazing.
Scripting Magic - Pete McCabe. This is great because it is examples of good scripts. I don't like the method that Pete uses to script magic, but that may be that I have my own method [essentially writing the script with blocking and moves in brackets]. Some scripts are better than others.
Art of Magic / Experience of Magic - Eugene Burger. Most are a collection of essays with effects and presentations intermixed. These are beautiful works. There is something about his presentations that makes magic... well, magical.
Life, Death and Other Card Tricks or anything else by Robert E. Neale. This is the ultimate in presentation that makes your audience think and feel. The sophistication and emotion in the presentation pieces are amazing. Be warned, it is not for everyone because I don't think may 16 year olds could pull off a card trick about the five gifts of life. There are some effects that I think cannot withstand the weight of the presentation, but for most of the effects, the presentation is amazing.
The Magician and the Mentalist. Yeah, that one has to still be written by Christopher and me.