Hello,
My name is Gabriel Zudeck long time member of Theory11.com..... I want to expel some thoughts on what has been going on with my mental health issues. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia back in 2008 I have had a lot of ups and downs. And it seems that the mental cloud is just not going well for me. I am sure a lot of people trudge through life with expectancies of only ups. Since becoming ill I have not had many revelations or Eureka moments quite possibly because of the damage through self inflicted harm. I at least found something that I am good at.. Up The Ladder Cuts. I have been doing this move for over a decade now and continue to persist. I have 4 tutorial and thousands of videos. I feel as if my world is just shutting down little by little , I am sure I am not alone in this. I have found that when I put my head down, and read I don't have much anxiety ,it's only when I focus on the abyss that things get violently disruptive mentally. I have a chaotic mind and feel like there is a winding down to what's going on with me. I understand at this point that you write your own story in life.. And to some degree I did a marvelous job, but in other aspects I failed miserably. I love meeting new people but in retrospect isolation is my greatest adversity. Distinction should be made onto the matters of why I used to self harm, rather than judgement, I guess I was trying to escape and hard situation. I have a life that pretty much revolves around death, which is very sad and unhealthy. I have entered countless Saturday Night Contests, and used to actively participate in discussions here. I am proud to say I am a member of T11. A lot of the old heads that used to post have stopped. It feels as if I stopped growing mentally when I got out of University. I have an appointment tomorrow , so I can test out my reading trick. A lot of times I wish I had jumped on the boat with everyone else in theory11 and been more diverse like purchasing/using Book Tests and other tricks. Sadly, or not so sadly I chose a different route, Up The Ladder Cuts. Now if I can just make come all full circle that would be awesome!! Let me know if you guys have any thoughts on what is it I am doing wrong/right?
My name is Gabriel Zudeck long time member of Theory11.com..... I want to expel some thoughts on what has been going on with my mental health issues. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia back in 2008 I have had a lot of ups and downs. And it seems that the mental cloud is just not going well for me. I am sure a lot of people trudge through life with expectancies of only ups. Since becoming ill I have not had many revelations or Eureka moments quite possibly because of the damage through self inflicted harm. I at least found something that I am good at.. Up The Ladder Cuts. I have been doing this move for over a decade now and continue to persist. I have 4 tutorial and thousands of videos. I feel as if my world is just shutting down little by little , I am sure I am not alone in this. I have found that when I put my head down, and read I don't have much anxiety ,it's only when I focus on the abyss that things get violently disruptive mentally. I have a chaotic mind and feel like there is a winding down to what's going on with me. I understand at this point that you write your own story in life.. And to some degree I did a marvelous job, but in other aspects I failed miserably. I love meeting new people but in retrospect isolation is my greatest adversity. Distinction should be made onto the matters of why I used to self harm, rather than judgement, I guess I was trying to escape and hard situation. I have a life that pretty much revolves around death, which is very sad and unhealthy. I have entered countless Saturday Night Contests, and used to actively participate in discussions here. I am proud to say I am a member of T11. A lot of the old heads that used to post have stopped. It feels as if I stopped growing mentally when I got out of University. I have an appointment tomorrow , so I can test out my reading trick. A lot of times I wish I had jumped on the boat with everyone else in theory11 and been more diverse like purchasing/using Book Tests and other tricks. Sadly, or not so sadly I chose a different route, Up The Ladder Cuts. Now if I can just make come all full circle that would be awesome!! Let me know if you guys have any thoughts on what is it I am doing wrong/right?