Magic Interfering with my Relationship

[CardMagicNJ]

Hey guys,
Obviously, Magic is the one love I discovered I had that now I know I can't live without. My girl gets all crazy saying now I'm spending totoo much time practicing tricks, and that I hold my cards more than her, aaahhhhh man, yup it's true though. Straight up honesty, if I had to make A choice, bye honey cause magic is my life and love..... Yes I know I'm an extremist, but that's my personality. I will literally practice a sleight until I pass out........ Anybody have the similar situation happen to them and their life because of magic ?? Like I've said I'm a year maybe close to 1 1/2 years into it and been with her for the past 3. Just tough that's all. Thanks for letting me share all....... Have a great week

 

[Timewise64]

I appreciate your enthusiasm, BUT anything can become a problem if it becomes an obsession! I am well into my 60's and am speaking from my life observations, I am not speaking from the viewpoint of someone who is a professional magician, I am not. That being said, I know some people who became obsessed with something and let it impact the direction they took their lives. Sometimes this can turn out well, while other times, it can ruin many around you and damage your life.

Obviously, you are the only one that can judge this. Seems if your goal is to be a famous professional magician, your obsession might be necessary to take you to the next step. But, if your doing this hard work just to master cards or magic in general and you do not see yourself on the road, doing magic for a profession, then that might indicate your goal and obsessions are not linked! And that would be problematic, at least that is how I would see it....

 

[CardMagicNJ]

I appreciate your enthusiasm, BUT anything can become a problem if it becomes an obsession! I am well into my 60's and am speaking from my life observations, I am not speaking from the viewpoint of someone who is a professional magician, I am not. That being said, I know some people who became obsessed with something and let it impact the direction they took their lives. Sometimes this can turn out well, while other times, it can ruin many around you and damage your life.

Obviously, you are the only one that can judge this. Seems if your goal is to be a famous professional magician, your obsession might be necessary to take you to the next step. But, if your doing this hard work just to master cards or magic in general and you do not see yourself on the road, doing magic for a profession, then that might indicate your goal and obsessions are not linked! And that would be problematic, at least that is how I would see it....

Thank you for your insight bud. But also, magic is what brings a smile to my face, what makes me happy, what makes me forget about how fed up the world really is. To become a professional magician yes, famous I really could care less about. I'm more of the want to change people's lives and help others by using magic to do that. You can apply magic towards anything towards drug rehabilitation's towards folks receiving physical rehabilitation,

 

[CardMagicNJ]

Thank you for your insight bud. But also, magic is what brings a smile to my face, what makes me happy, what makes me forget about how fed up the world really is. To become a professional magician yes, famous I really could care less about. I'm more of the want to change people's lives and help others by using magic to do that. You can apply magic towards anything towards drug rehabilitation's towards folks receiving physical rehabilitation,

Sorry I hit post reply to early. Any way it can be applied to any area in this world or your life or any situation that seems impossible in your eyes. But once you see a magic trick and see the impossible become possible, your whole attitude toward your life is changed. That is what I want to bring to this world through my magic eventually.

 

[Al e Cat Dabra]

The words, "magic is my life and love..." strike me as words of true passion and conviction, coming straight from your heart.

The mind can play tricks, but the heart always knows the truth within us.

 

[CardMagicNJ]

The words, "magic is my life and love..." strike me as words of true passion and conviction, coming straight from your heart.

The mind can play tricks, but the heart always knows the truth within us.

Al e Cat !!!!!!!!!! How the heck are ya bud ??

 

[Al e Cat Dabra]

Excellent, Ryan, thanks!

You?

 

[RealityOne]

Sometimes, the people closest to us can see things we can't or won't. If they care about us, they tell us what they see. Always listen with your heart to someone who tells you something from their heart.

It is very easy to let one thing in life consume all of our time and attention. We are wired that way. Magic can be addictive, especially when you first start. Often, it is like seeing the world differently for the first time. Many times, the rest of the world just looks mundane in comparison.

Life is a balance. Working, learning, playing, loving, resting, etc. But sometimes balance is hard. We can be out of balance for short periods, but when the balance in our lives becomes distorted on a long term basis, things tend to fall apart.

You often will see posts on the forums of folks saying, "it's no longer fun" or "I'm burnt out" or "magic isn't what it used to be." A lot of that is burnout from going too intensely for too long.

Magic is best enjoyed as part of a life full of other activities, friends, family and loved ones. There is a time to learn and talk about magic during the day, but there needs to be time for everything else that makes our lives full. Learning magic is a lifelong journey, not a sprint.

I can tell you that I'd rather wake up next to my wife rather than a stack of magic books. Find ways your girlfriend can enjoy magic with you. My wife likes to go to magic shows with me. Don't perform everything the first time for your girlfriend. The first performance of any effect usually is the worst. Also, you will find that significant others like to see others react positively to you magic. Find things that you can do in tandem. My wife loves to read, so she will read fiction and I'll read my magic books. We also find time to do things together that have nothing to do with magic.

 

[obrienmagic]

My wife is super supportive and loves my magic, but has made it clear that there is magic time and there is us time. Too much of one and not enough of the other causes issues. It is up to you two to find a compromise and figure out how to make it work.

 

[ProAma]

she's not the one for you if she isn't going to support your passions. the truth hurts. Most people on here won't say it how it is or understand cuz they're too scared of being blunt or they live a lie or they girlfriend/boyfriend cuz they are a magician if they do it's usually not real/long term. lol joking aside that one is kind of true.

 

[CardMagicNJ]

Sometimes, the people closest to us can see things we can't or won't. If they care about us, they tell us what they see. Always listen with your heart to someone who tells you something from their heart.

It is very easy to let one thing in life consume all of our time and attention. We are wired that way. Magic can be addictive, especially when you first start. Often, it is like seeing the world differently for the first time. Many times, the rest of the world just looks mundane in comparison.

Life is a balance. Working, learning, playing, loving, resting, etc. But sometimes balance is hard. We can be out of balance for short periods, but when the balance in our lives becomes distorted on a long term basis, things tend to fall apart.

You often will see posts on the forums of folks saying, "it's no longer fun" or "I'm burnt out" or "magic isn't what it used to be." A lot of that is burnout from going too intensely for too long.

Magic is best enjoyed as part of a life full of other activities, friends, family and loved ones. There is a time to learn and talk about magic during the day, but there needs to be time for everything else that makes our lives full. Learning magic is a lifelong journey, not a sprint.

I can tell you that I'd rather wake up next to my wife rather than a stack of magic books. Find ways your girlfriend can enjoy magic with you. My wife likes to go to magic shows with me. Don't perform everything the first time for your girlfriend. The first performance of any effect usually is the worst. Also, you will find that significant others like to see others react positively to you magic. Find things that you can do in tandem. My wife loves to read, so she will read fiction and I'll read my magic books. We also find time to do things together that have nothing to do with magic.

Reality one,
You worded that perfectly man thank you so much. We will work it out because I truly love her. You're right cuz I think I'm still in those beginning stages where I'm still discovering the World of Magic. And once you start getting your awesome reactions, I think that tends to increase the addiction little more. Although she did actually offer to have set times during the week where I can go out and practice, and said she would film. I'm the type of person where I've never had good balance in my life so this practice would be very well needed. Thank you everyone for your responses and I really appreciate your help thank you. I just wanted to make sure that this is a kind of a normal thing that beginner magicians go through. Much appreciated - Ryan.

 

[ID4]

I'll just leave this here.

Women see mens hobbies as _threats_. In her mind she should be your sole source of happiness and passion. If you spend one dollar or devote one minute to anything else that makes you happy other than her, she loaths this other interest of yours. NOTHING causes more internal rage inside her head than for you to smile and find happiness and enjoyment in something else...in this case magic.

Print out the above paragraph and glue it inside your close-up case, trunk, or wherever you keep your magic.

 

[JarrettC2]

I’m lucky to have a supportive lass. There is an established us and practice time though, but she will do her own research or ask that I teach what I’m doing and angle check for me... all so I can perform it better. One of the moments I think I fell was doing a trick that was half Svengali principle/shorts and she called it out saying “you just flashed the shorts when you pulled the deck out of the box, put it in upsidedown”.

Don’t let a hobby or obsession ruin a good thing, that said. You don’t want to be kicking yourself in arse 5 years down the line because you got sucked in. What if you get burnt out as mentioned? Everything in moderation. Even Richard Turner’s wife reminds him that there is a time and place for practicing mechanics if I recall from an interview. If she isn’t supportive what so ever... That is your call.

 

[RickEverhart]

Most of you guys have already hit the nail on the head. There is magic time and then there is wife/family time. I choose to practice my routines, sleights, read magic books when the wife is at work. When she is home or I am with the kids it is "their" time to enjoy Dad.

You can be a professional without having to go on the road 24/7. Also, girlfriends and wives do NOT enjoy the fact that everywhere you go somewhere you "have" to get the cards out and be the center of attention. Refrain from doing this until someone has maybe actually asked to see some magic.

See if there is a way for her to get involved at times. For example: I will sometimes take my wife with me to events and allow her to shoot all of the photography pics and reaction photos. I took a passion of hers, and turned it into a benefit for me yet it allows us to enjoy something together.

Sitting on a couch together later, browsing through the pics, she loves hearing me say, "Wow babe, you nailed that pic and caught the perfect reaction! You are awesome!"

As David said, I would much rather wake up next to my wife and kids than be waking up to an empty house with decks of cards and books around me. Not even close to a comparison.

Have fun. Take breaks. Learn to manage your time when she isn't around and don't have the cards in your hands 24/7.

 

[WitchDocIsIn]

Also, girlfriends and wives do NOT enjoy the fact that everywhere you go somewhere you "have" to get the cards out and be the center of attention.

In fairness, no one enjoys that.

 

[CardMagicNJ]

Most of you guys have already hit the nail on the head. There is magic time and then there is wife/family time. I choose to practice my routines, sleights, read magic books when the wife is at work. When she is home or I am with the kids it is "their" time to enjoy Dad.

You can be a professional without having to go on the road 24/7. Also, girlfriends and wives do NOT enjoy the fact that everywhere you go somewhere you "have" to get the cards out and be the center of attention. Refrain from doing this until someone has maybe actually asked to see some magic.

See if there is a way for her to get involved at times. For example: I will sometimes take my wife with me to events and allow her to shoot all of the photography pics and reaction photos. I took a passion of hers, and turned it into a benefit for me yet it allows us to enjoy something together.

Sitting on a couch together later, browsing through the pics, she loves hearing me say, "Wow babe, you nailed that pic and caught the perfect reaction! You are awesome!"

As David said, I would much rather wake up next to my wife and kids than be waking up to an empty house with decks of cards and books around me. Not even close to a comparison.

Have fun. Take breaks. Learn to manage your time when she isn't around and don't have the cards in your hands 24/7.

Wow thanks Rick I really appreciate your words there. I guess what I'm asking also is is that somewhat of a normal phase for someone early magic to go through ?? It's like you get so excited and you just can't wait to keep learning more and more and more, lol. But just like you said your wife does for you my fiance offered to film the reactions when I do it and I was thrilled. Of course there will be events in times where I'm not going to be doing it because it's somebody else's day to celebrate not mine. I don't normally ask people if they want to see tricks I just kind of feel with my cards and do some flourishes by myself and someone always winds up walking up asking if I know tricks or if I'm a magician. I always answer with I'm studying to become a street magician. I appreciate the encouraging words my friend have a great week God Bless - Ryan