Thanks for the feedback it really helps in retrospect I should have slowed down making it more natural looking. When you talk about patter what do you mean eg. Should I say what im doing or should I tell a story along with the trick?
In my opinion, the direct route to good patter and presentation is to answer the question, "What does this mean?" Your current presentation is, essentially, talking through the process. It's answering the question, "What are you doing?" not "What does this mean?" Think about if you were writing a film. The scene is that a guy walks in, pulls a gun and shoots another guy. The dialogue wouldn't be:
MAN 1: I'm walking into a room and I'm looking angrily at another man then I'm pulling out a gun and shooting him.
MAN 2: I have been hit with a bullet and I'm dying in a pool of blood.
We can all see that on the screen, so it doesn't need to be said out loud as well. As a writer, though, we might want to take this opportunity to tell a bit more of our story, and make the scene richer, especially if we haven't seen these characters before (as is the case with a one-off magic trick, i.e., our audience don't know anything about our character). So, maybe the dialogue could be:
MAN 1: This is for John.
MAN 2: Your brother deserved what he got.
The same scene is being played out, but now we know more, the scene has more resonance and meaning. We understand something of the motivations of the people involved and get a sense of their relationship and back-story.
So, what does your trick mean? Does it mean that it's genuinely possible to invisibly teleport objects through space and into small woollen hats? Does it mean that it's possible to create the illusion of dematerialisation using sleight-of-hand? Does it mean you're a nice guy who is just trying to have some fun? Decide what it means and then tell that story because otherwise you're leaving it up to the audience to decide and they're always going to default to "it's just a trick" and either try and solve it like a puzzle or write it off as unimportant.