Part 1: http://forums.theory11.com/showthread.php?29491-How-to-Meet-a-Stranger-Part-1
How to Meet a Stranger - Part 2: People Love to Talk About Themselves
It was my first year of University. I had moved from a small town to a larger city. I didn’t know another soul. I had made it my personal goal to introduce myself to two new people every day of my first semester. It seemed like it was going to be a huge challenge, but as I soon found out, that was actually the easy part. What was difficult was talking to them after the introductions.
I was frustrated with how awkward conversation could be. I had grown up in a small town so I never really had to meet new people very often. What should I say to them? How do I know what topics they will talk about? Why is this so awkward?
I remember phoning my dad and sharing my frustrations with him. He gave me a great piece of advice. He said “In all my years of doing business, one thing is apparent; people love to talk about themselves.”
This single piece of advice will help you as a person and as a performer. When I find myself in a position where I have already introduced myself and perhaps made some small talk (my next blog “How to Meet a Stranger” will have some ideas on making small talk), this can help effortlessly add hours of conversation. I ask them questions about themselves.
Ask about their hobbies, their job/school, their family, their opinion, etc. Find out what makes them tick as a human being. Now that said, you can’t be an interrogator. You need to find balance. How do you find balance effectively? Well the biggest key is to listen to them. Actively hear what they are saying, mentally process it, and respond. Share your thoughts, and converse (remember conversation is two ways, don’t hog the floor). When the conversation luls, simply ask another question about them to stoke the conversation.
Remember that there are good questions and bad questions. Bad questions are ones that illicit a yes or no response, or a one word response. This will result in a conversation much like a parent talking to their Jr. High student.
How was school? Good.
Did you learn anything interesting? Nope.
Did anything exciting happen today? No.
Do you have any homework. No.
A good question is one that is open ended. This means that it encourages a thoughtful answer.
What was the best part of your day?
What was the most interesting thing you learned today?
What homework do you have?
Why do you think that situation was so hard?
Though, choosing your questions wisely is challenging, you will get better with time and practice.
As far as how this will help you as a performer, stop to think of professionals that you have met that you really enjoyed your interaction. Chances are they asked some questions about you. They wanted to know more about you or your magic. This makes us feel honoured when someone we respect cares enough to ask. Now when you show up to an event as ‘the hired magician’, and you bring astonishment and wonder to the crowd, it gives you a position of power, authority, and respect. It will make people feel important if you ask about them. Even as simple as asking their name, and using it. Sometimes you will find yourself in a position where you are mingling with an audience before or after your performance. This is a great time to get to know the people you are performing for. It will give you an air of humility and authenticity. People really like this, and will remember you because you took note of them.
Do you agree? Have you ever recognized this trait in people (including yourself) that we like to talk about ourselves? Do you have anything else to add on how this key knowledge can help you with your performances?
How to Meet a Stranger - Part 2: People Love to Talk About Themselves
It was my first year of University. I had moved from a small town to a larger city. I didn’t know another soul. I had made it my personal goal to introduce myself to two new people every day of my first semester. It seemed like it was going to be a huge challenge, but as I soon found out, that was actually the easy part. What was difficult was talking to them after the introductions.
I was frustrated with how awkward conversation could be. I had grown up in a small town so I never really had to meet new people very often. What should I say to them? How do I know what topics they will talk about? Why is this so awkward?
I remember phoning my dad and sharing my frustrations with him. He gave me a great piece of advice. He said “In all my years of doing business, one thing is apparent; people love to talk about themselves.”
This single piece of advice will help you as a person and as a performer. When I find myself in a position where I have already introduced myself and perhaps made some small talk (my next blog “How to Meet a Stranger” will have some ideas on making small talk), this can help effortlessly add hours of conversation. I ask them questions about themselves.
Ask about their hobbies, their job/school, their family, their opinion, etc. Find out what makes them tick as a human being. Now that said, you can’t be an interrogator. You need to find balance. How do you find balance effectively? Well the biggest key is to listen to them. Actively hear what they are saying, mentally process it, and respond. Share your thoughts, and converse (remember conversation is two ways, don’t hog the floor). When the conversation luls, simply ask another question about them to stoke the conversation.
Remember that there are good questions and bad questions. Bad questions are ones that illicit a yes or no response, or a one word response. This will result in a conversation much like a parent talking to their Jr. High student.
How was school? Good.
Did you learn anything interesting? Nope.
Did anything exciting happen today? No.
Do you have any homework. No.
A good question is one that is open ended. This means that it encourages a thoughtful answer.
What was the best part of your day?
What was the most interesting thing you learned today?
What homework do you have?
Why do you think that situation was so hard?
Though, choosing your questions wisely is challenging, you will get better with time and practice.
As far as how this will help you as a performer, stop to think of professionals that you have met that you really enjoyed your interaction. Chances are they asked some questions about you. They wanted to know more about you or your magic. This makes us feel honoured when someone we respect cares enough to ask. Now when you show up to an event as ‘the hired magician’, and you bring astonishment and wonder to the crowd, it gives you a position of power, authority, and respect. It will make people feel important if you ask about them. Even as simple as asking their name, and using it. Sometimes you will find yourself in a position where you are mingling with an audience before or after your performance. This is a great time to get to know the people you are performing for. It will give you an air of humility and authenticity. People really like this, and will remember you because you took note of them.
Do you agree? Have you ever recognized this trait in people (including yourself) that we like to talk about ourselves? Do you have anything else to add on how this key knowledge can help you with your performances?
