Impressing Girls (I need help!)

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by deezy, May 4, 2012.

  1. Couldn't have said it better.

  2. Especially in a crossword puzzle. Not only are the two words of different length, but they have completely different meanings.

    And nice call out on my other post. Touche.

    We all have bad days and hasty posts.
    Josh Mickelson likes this.
  3. I think that goes without saying...

    However, his original question only asked about which effects he should do for this girl, nothing else. I was just saying that whatever he uses to impress people on a daily basis should work just fine. Just because she's a girl and he likes her doesn't mean suddenly it's more difficult to impress her with magic.

    This is a magic forum, after all. Not a dating advice forum. If this was a dating advice forum, I'd have told him not to use magic at all (at first).
  4. Oh man I love you so much. Very funny. +1
  5. I don't know about that. It always seems more difficult to me when someone I actually care about is on the receiving end of the performance.
  6. Actually, he does play with the toys that aren't particularly valuable. I understand the concept of plumage and that it can vary. However, most people aren't going to understand that you mean, "Show that you have resources." What they are seeing is, "Have muscles and money." You're not communicating the deeper ideas with the quippy version. Therefore, I maintain that "Have money and muscles" is bad advice.

    I don't disagree, but I think you're still giving bad advice. People who are peacocking specifically to get attention (eg: hook people) are usually quite obvious and therefore avoided. Personality is more important and often is a hook in itself. In my previous example, the guy in question didn't flaunt his hobbies beyond the norm of the environment he was in (As in, he'd dress up for renn faires, but not extravagantly). He hooked people by talking to them and being charming. They found out later that he was UberGeek, Lord of the Nerds. I knew him for two years before I found out he had a closet packed full of expensive Victorian/Edwardian clothing.

    So, I maintain, it's better advice to tell people to develop their social skills rather than worrying about obvious displays of value. Anyone who has to tell you that they are valuable probably isn't.

    Really? The persecuted angle?
  7. It may seem more difficult, but my point was that just because she makes you nervous, doesn't mean magic is less effective on her than the people you otherwise perform for.
  8. This is why I never perform "at" them :). Instead, perform the room. There's something incredibly attractive, I hear, about people who just captivate a whole bar. As soon as you perform towards the person you want to impress you'll take their attention away from you and the bar and towards your cards, rings, clown noses, or whatnot. That eliminates 90% of your charm in trade for a trick.

    The women I am dating never told me "the second you showed me this great hindu shuffle I was in love". Instead I get the "when I watched you completely bamboozle those six businessmen and then make this girl give you her cell phone number I knew you were someone I wanted to get to know".
  9. #49 eostresh, May 11, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: May 12, 2012
    Well...It seems as if the quippy, dumbed down, laymen's explanation of this stuff is pretty difficult to grasp. So you are asking me to get more technical? .... so if we were talking not about evolutionary psychology...say we were talking physics. I'm having trouble explaining, in layman's terms, some quantum theory. You would then ask that I not explain those concepts to a group of non-physicists in layman's terms but, instead, recite the mathematical equations?
    Your flat wrong. If you know anything about the evolution of personality you know it is pretty well established early on in life. That means that it is primarily the product of the brain chemistry that you inherit from your folks and the environment you grow up in during early childhood development. That doesn't mean that it cannot change, in fact it will as your brain chemistry changes throughout life, but at any stage along the way it is harder to change than most self help books would like you to think. You are spouting the "party line" of a self help industry that makes millions of dollars because they want to convince people that they can change themselves. The good news is that you can change yourself. But, it is probably better done under the qualified guidance of a trained psychologist, not the recent self help trend. Even with that, you will improve your social skills quicker by exercising and finding a good job. The added confidence you will get by feeling physically healthy and financially secure will do more than any self help mumbo jumbo.
    Far from it...Two things you need to understand. First, I'm on the other side of this! Therefore, it is hard for me to take this very seriously. It's funny....and cute! I remember when I obsessed about how to ask out girls. I remember the mistakes I made. I know that you guys will make some of the mistakes I made, avoid some of the mistakes I made, and fall into some mistakes I never made. And when you get on the other end of all that you will find topics like this a bit humorous as well.

    Secondly, just because I'm trying to be light hearted and "quippy" doesn't i'm not trying to give you guys a down and dirty education on an interesting topic. Also, and to be blunt, some of you guys are taking this way to seriously. So the comment was not mean as a "Poor persecuted me" comment at all. Instead it was meant to say exactly what it said, you really can tease me on this! I don't take this that serious.

    The opening advice I gave this kid is frankly the best advice you could give him. Go to the gym(take care of yourself physically. A healthy body is a healthy mind. 99% of people who exercise regularly are NOT muscle bound dimwitted body builders!) and get a good job (financial security goes a long way towards building your own self esteem and self worth!) If you do those two things then the chances are that the rest will fall into place. Even with that there is no guarantee that you won't get a broken heart or two along the way but, at least you are 1/2 the way towards leading a happy, productive life.
  10. ...Continued

    So Christopher, if you want me not to be tounge and cheek, if you want me to get more technical and stop trying to simplify this for an audience who doesn't understand these principles of evolution, then you need to meet me 1/2 way. You need to educate yourself. Start with Hamilton's paper on the evolution of social behavior. Here is the abstract and the journal you need to look up.

    Journal of Theoretical Biology
    Volume 7, Issue 1, July 1964, pages 1-16

    The genetical evolution of social behaviour. I

    W.D. Hamilton

    Once you get through that, and part 2, move on to the previous works I listed...In ORDER! It won't make sense if you skip around. So go on to Triver's work on Reciprocal Altruism, Axelrod's work on the Prisoners Delema, and then when you get to the work by Toobey and Cosmides' you will have enough information to either support me, or at least challenge me with some cogent arguments. Or you could be cool with the fact that I take this fairly lightly and accept the fact that I am doing my best to explain these concepts as best I can to an audience of laymen. What ever floats you boat is fine with me.

  11. Thank you everyone for all the responses. The girl in question is now my girlfriend and I did not use magic at all. I'm still planning on performing for her at some point in the near future.
    Josh Mickelson likes this.
  12. There's definitely a good amount of "performing" expected from both parties in a relationship.

    Interpret the above as you will. And congratulations
  13. Great job! Now that that is all cleared up.....Wayne Houchin's "French Kiss" found on the "Art of Magic" DVD.

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