You are good when you're spectators say you're the best magician they've ever seen,(if they have seen a lot of magicians.) Also when other magicians begin to mimmick you.
(sigh) Where to start.
Well, the most obvious thing is to become aware of it. You have to become aware of the fact that you have these demons and that they are a part of you. They are also a part of everyone else. The demons never go away, they can only be silenced. The most socially stand-up people have learned to silence the demon and simply thrive off the adrenaline rush it provides.
"Anything that gets your blood pumping is probably worth doing."
-Hunter S. Thompson
The path to reaching this point is built on a foundation of self-awareness and the little things that make all the difference. When you're at a restaurant, don't just mechanically order your food. Ask the server how they're doing. "Oh, hey. How's it going. Slow night tonight, isn't it? (they answer and ask if you're ready to order) Yeah, a burger with fries and a water with lemon. Thanks." Easy. And yet after a month of doing that, you'll notice it getting really easy to do the same to anyone you meet.
Learn to maintain better eye contact. If you have to put your hands in your pockets try to keep your thumbs visible. Set a goal for yourself to master short conversations (30 seconds) and step it up from there.
You have to internalize the understanding that the literal tribe no longer exists in the developed world. Social ostracism and exile or almost entirely self-imposed. And while it's still not a good idea to try and make friends by getting drunk and waving your junk at passing cars, there are very few things you can do that will make you a social pariah anymore.
Find the socially stand-up guys and imitate them until you get a handle on this.
How is this even related to the topic.We havent had sex yet , but he said he's versatile and likes to be bottom sometimes , but i cant be top because i just dont like it and besides im not even big! So im afraid of what hos reaction to this may be.