Racism

[Maaz Hasan]

Hey guys,
So this has been bugging me for a while. As a young guy who is just starting to/ trying to get into the professional/work level of magicians, the thought of being racially abused has crossed my mind.

Being part of multiple minorities in the U.S. has seen me get racially, ethnically, and even religiously insulted throughout my life. Now I get that some people were joking and blah blah blah blah - I'm not here for counseling. I can work through it myself

I just want to know if anyone else has been a victim of racial/ethnic/religious abuse while performing at a gig or something, and how to deal with it at the moment, because I will most likely end up having to deal with it while performing in the future (hopefully not). Also, I know who I am - I defend my self to that fullest and argue for whatever I think (albeit, sometimes without thinking), and I don't want to get in a verbal confrontation (or a fist fight... or worse) with a drunk dude, and get thrown out of a gig and have a tainted reputation just cuz I couldn't let a bigot be a bigot.

Got a bit off track there, but does anyone have any experience with this?

 

[RealityOne]

Maaz:

The key is professionalism. That means looking and acting the part of the magician. Take a look at Eric Jones or Michael Vincent -- what strikes you is their professionalism including their dress, knowledge and demeanor, not their skin color. Part of professionalism is confidence. You are less likely to be heckled by an audience if you come across as confident and polished. The last is audience control. When I do a show, I am completely in control - the audience is no more likely to interupt me than they would interupt a Broadway show (or a High School musical for that matter).

For the ignorant idiots out there, it isn't your job as a performer to engage them. If someone says something, your best response is "The great thing about this country is that we are all free to express ourselves, but I'm not here to discuss those things but only to perform magic." The best part of responses like that is you are not giving them what they want -- which is a reaction. The ability to provoke a reaction is the ability to exercise power over you. By denying them a reaction you are denying them their power. You also have the ability to send a positive message -- despite all of the differences between people, we an focus on things that we have in common and that bring us together -- like magic.

 

[Maaz Hasan]

See that's just the thing David. I know how to deal with fools like this. I mean more so of when the dude repeatedly heckles you during a routine for a crowd.

Besides, the main problem with it is even though I can control the audience and everything, the things the guy says still hurt. As a person who tries to perform with a lot of energy, my energy level is going to immediatly drop to a lower level (its not really possible to keep up the enrgy if I just lost my will to perform for a few minutes. Besides, my Magic persona and my actual self are the same, so I can't really act it off.)- I'm just worried about this affecting the experience for the other spectators, not me.

 

[RealityOne]

Maaz:

I need some more concrete examples (real or hypothetical) to be able to provide better advice. I've never had or seen someone repeatedly heckle a magician for any reason. For me, it seems so out of context for someone to use racial / religious/ ethnic slurs to heckle a magician.

Let me put one other thing out there. YOU are the one who decides if what some ignorant stranger (who doesn't know you) says can hurt you. It is their problem, not yours. Don't give them power over you.

As for the other spectators, treat the heckler like any other. Ignore them the first time by continuing to do what you are doing. Ignore them the second time by pausing, looking at them without any emotion but not saying anything, looking at the rest of the audience and continuing. The third time address them with a line like, "Could you please leave so you don't continue to ruin the performance for everyone else." Do not engage them, do not argue with them, do not let them get to you. It goes back to professionalism.

 

[Timewise64]

I grew up with a lisp and as a stutterer! It was difficult in many ways, as kids can be really mean... it all came to a head my Senior year in high school when we were required to give a radio announcement to the school and a 30 minute speech in our history class. Both of these were required and you had to pass, to graduate from high school. I worked hard on both speeches practicing them intensely, but both were dismal failures...I eventually was able to do a speech just for my teacher and principal and they passed me. But doing those publically like I did, was the worst, especially at 18....and as you would expect, did I get harassed after each of those speeches by all the creeps....

That summer I went to a speech path coach who taught me to stop the 'lisp' by learning to make a proper 's' sound and by learning to here the difference. The stuttering was much more difficult to get over, she had me give speeches to anyone available the pressure was what worked, I finally learned to quickly substitute words when I felt my stuttering start. I now do it so quick that few people know I am stuttering.....

I guess my point is most people, if not all, are born with something that someone else will criticize or out right attack. You can go around beating yourself up and or them, about it or you can learn to accept it and move on! By learning to move on, you actually take control and no one can get under your skin. Unfortunately, there will always be people out there that will attack anyone for any reason....and unfortunately, Racism in many forms has always been around, and I do not think anyone can legislate it away.....stupid people are all around us!

 

[Maaz Hasan]

Maaz:

I need some more concrete examples (real or hypothetical) to be able to provide better advice. I've never had or seen someone repeatedly heckle a magician for any reason. For me, it seems so out of context for someone to use racial / religious/ ethnic slurs to heckle a magician.

Let me put one other thing out there. YOU are the one who decides if what some ignorant stranger (who doesn't know you) says can hurt you. It is their problem, not yours. Don't give them power over you.

As for the other spectators, treat the heckler like any other. Ignore them the first time by continuing to do what you are doing. Ignore them the second time by pausing, looking at them without any emotion but not saying anything, looking at the rest of the audience and continuing. The third time address them with a line like, "Could you please leave so you don't continue to ruin the performance for everyone else." Do not engage them, do not argue with them, do not let them get to you. It goes back to professionalism.

David, I'm not trying to sound like an a-hole right now, but I may come off as one. Apologies.

If you don't mind me asking, are you part of a minority group that people make fun of a lot? One that people make fun of just because you look different, or your parents have an accent, or your name is from another culture. If not, I'm sorry, but I don't think you can really relate.

I've been called many things, in the last few years I have heard more and more people calling me a "terrorist", a "lesser race", etc. Hell, an employee refused to help my mom at a Home Depot, and instead started saying some racist (bleep bleep) to her instead!

So yeah, I can choose not to engage them, or ignore them or take over - but one cannot control something effecting him. It would be in-human to not take some sort of effect. Furthermore, in the modern world, letting someone say stuff to you and not backing yourself up is literally how you lose an audience.

What your saying is like what they tell you about fights at school; The school expects you not to swing back, even if the guy is already beating on you physically.

What they should be telling you is; try and avoid the fight, and walk away or ignore the guy, but if you are being attacked, you defend yourself.

Basically what I'm saying is, I try and ignore them and do everything you're saying, but sometimes, you get backed into a corner, at which point I need to make a decision: Leave an entire audience 100%, and risk tainting my reputation, or confront the dude and risk tainting my reputation.

 

[ChrisJGJ]

If you don't mind me asking, are you part of a minority group that people make fun of a lot? One that people make fun of just because you look different, or your parents have an accent, or your name is from another culture. If not, I'm sorry, but I don't think you can really relate.

I am, let me see if I can relate.

I've been called many things, in the last few years I have heard more and more people calling me a "terrorist", a "lesser race", etc. Hell, an employee refused to help my mom at a Home Depot, and instead started saying some racist (bleep bleep) to her instead!

I'm sorry to hear about this. That's disgusting.

So yeah, I can choose not to engage them, or ignore them or take over - but one cannot control something affecting him. It would be in-human to not take some sort of effect. Furthermore, in the modern world, letting someone say stuff to you and not backing yourself up is literally how you lose an audience.

I don't blame you for feeling hurt or taking offense to racist remarks, but how you react to racism is what defines your maturity and the man you are or want to become. Langston Hughes has a poem titled, "I, Too" where he responds to racism with laughter. He ends the poem with, "They'll see how beautiful I am/And be ashamed". Essentially he knows his true value and worth, his role and importance in American culture and history and is confident the people who oppress him will eventually realize his beauty and feel dumb once they do. Kinda like how some people hear a joke and don't get it until much later, then feel stupid that it took them so long to realize it.

I won't tell you how you should feel, but this is how I feel when I experience racism: I feel sorry for them. They're ignorant and it's cute to me how they think I'm defined as a person by the color of my skin or the religion I practice. You shouldn't be angry at these people. You should feel really sad for them. Educate them, perhaps through magic. Love them. Show them that their expectation of you is wrong.

In the context of a performance, however, it's still best to ignore them. And treat them like a regular heckler that I'm sure you've dealt with before.

What your saying is like what they tell you about fights at school; The school expects you not to swing back, even if the guy is already beating on you physically.

Physical abuse is much different from verbal abuse. Remember sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me? I don't want to pull out the, "you're young card", but I think it might be that. The more years you live the more you realize some people really are just that dumb, and what they say is irrelevant. You can't win an argument with an idiot. So just let it be. If someone hits me though, it's going down.

What they should be telling you is; try and avoid the fight, and walk away or ignore the guy, but if you are being attacked, you defend yourself.

If I was in high school and told my dad I wooped a dudes a** defending myself and got suspended, he would buy me a drink.

Basically what I'm saying is, I try and ignore them and do everything you're saying, but sometimes, you get backed into a corner, at which point I need to make a decision: Leave an entire audience 100%, and risk tainting my reputation, or confront the dude and risk tainting my reputation.

You're not thinking outside the box, or you might be letting an idiot get to you more than you should. There are methods to get out of these situations and believe me they do work. Give me a worse case hypothetical for you and let's see if we can work out a solution.

 

[Maaz Hasan]

I don't blame you for feeling hurt or taking offense to racist remarks, but how you react to racism is what defines your maturity and the man you are or want to become. Langston Hughes has a poem titled, "I, Too" where he responds to racism with laughter. He ends the poem with, "They'll see how beautiful I am/And be ashamed". Essentially he knows his true value and worth, his role and importance in American culture and history and is confident the people who oppress him will eventually realize his beauty and feel dumb once they do. Kinda like how some people hear a joke and don't get it until much later, then feel stupid that it took them so long to realize it.

I won't tell you how you should feel, but this is how I feel when I experience racism: I feel sorry for them. They're ignorant and it's cute to me how they think I'm defined as a person by the color of my skin or the religion I practice. You shouldn't be angry at these people. You should feel really sad for them. Educate them, perhaps through magic. Love them. Show them that their expectation of you is wrong.

In the context of a performance, however, it's still best to ignore them. And treat them like a regular heckler that I'm sure you've dealt with before.

This is exactly what I try and show - but not how I end up feeling. Its like if my friend makes an offensive joke - I know he means well, so I'll laugh, but once in a while, you hear one that is just too over the top, so you laugh for the sake of laughing. The problem results when I do laugh along, but the fact that I was "hurt" by what they said ends up effecting my performance (probably only a bit, but possibly noticeably to the spectator) without me realizing. Sure I can ignore them and play it cool, but it will probably have a negative effect on my performance for the audience

Physical abuse is much different from verbal abuse. Remember sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me? I don't want to pull out the, "you're young card", but I think it might be that. The more years you live the more you realize some people really are just that dumb, and what they say is irrelevant. You can't win an argument with an idiot. So just let it be. If someone hits me though, it's going down.

True, but I was just kinda using it as a reference. Also, my frontal lobe doesn't fully develop for another what, 9 years? What you said is definitely true xD

I generally have a huge tolerance when it comes to anything. I don't get pissed off easy (unless its by people who have known me for a long long time who know how to piss me off ), but when I do, I get *pissed* off. Granted, I've figured out how to control conversations to an extent so I never really reach that point, but still.

You're not thinking outside the box, or you might be letting an idiot get to you more than you should. There are methods to get out of these situations and believe me they do work. Give me a worse case hypothetical for you and let's see if we can work out a solution.

100% Hypothetical:
I have a huge crowd and the dude keeps yelling racists stuff. He has his people with him. I can't focus on ignoring him or else I lose the crowd.

Racist dude ends up ruining my whole show somehow, I get kicked from a gig because I wasn't performing too well, and my reputation is tainted.

What if I'm at fault? What if they catch me off guard, or even just angry, and I blow my fuse? Again, reputation tainted.

I find out I'm performing for the KKK (Steve Hofstetter ran into this problem once, and had to change his whole comedic script because 1/2 of it was about growing up Jewish. The KKK members never realized he was Jewish, but I'm colored, not Christian, and from an immigrant family. I think they would figure it out... Actually this story is what lead me to ponder about me running into a similar situation, though on a much lower level)


Now 1 thing I would like to point out is that being racially abused won't happen too often while performing - if ever given I live in a pretty diverse area - I just want to be prepared for if and when it does.

Thanks, to all of you, for the help guys! Really means a lot!

 

[RealityOne]

If you don't mind me asking, are you part of a minority group that people make fun of a lot? One that people make fun of just because you look different, or your parents have an accent, or your name is from another culture. If not, I'm sorry, but I don't think you can really relate.

Maaz, I'm a middle-aged, balding upper middle class white guy, so no. But I don't think that means I can't relate. Re-read @Timewise64's post - we all have encountered idiots and ignorance in our lives. An insult is an insult regardless of the basis. The perspective that you are getting from me, @Timewise64 and @ChrisJGJ is really wisdom accumulated over our lifetimes. Thinking that your experience is unique is the opposite of what you need to do and, honestly, what this country needs to do. We need to focus on what is the same about all of us, not on our difference.

I've been called many things, in the last few years I have heard more and more people calling me a "terrorist", a "lesser race", etc. Hell, an employee refused to help my mom at a Home Depot, and instead started saying some racist (bleep bleep) to her instead!

Think about this questions -- why do those people act that way? Reread @ChrisJGJ's post. Part of it is ignorance. Part of it is simplemindedness in assuming that all people of a certain characteristic are the same. That accounts for what they think. But what makes them say something about it? They want attention, they want a reaction, they want control. THEY WANT YOU TO RESPOND IN A WAY THAT CONFIRMS THEIR BELIEF. By responding by acting subservient allows them to feel superior and by acting belligerent confirms their belief. By responding with politeness or genuine sympathy gives you control of the conversation and throws them off their script (i.e. how they expect the conversation to go).

So yeah, I can choose not to engage them, or ignore them or take over - but one cannot control something effecting him. It would be in-human to not take some sort of effect. Furthermore, in the modern world, letting someone say stuff to you and not backing yourself up is literally how you lose an audience.

Maaz, the underlined section is where you are wrong. You CHOOSE to be affected. You CHOOSE to give the person insulting you any power. Think about it, you are choosing to give power to some ignorant person based on something they say about you that isn't close to being true. How would you react to someone who came up to you and said, "You are a freaking purple elephant who can't dance" ? Would that upset you or enrage you? Of course not. So why should other outlandish and untrue statements affect you? It isn't about you, it is about them.

100% Hypothetical:
I have a huge crowd and the dude keeps yelling racists stuff. He has his people with him. I can't focus on ignoring him or else I lose the crowd.

Racist dude ends up ruining my whole show somehow, I get kicked from a gig because I wasn't performing too well, and my reputation is tainted.

What if I'm at fault? What if they catch me off guard, or even just angry, and I blow my fuse? Again, reputation tainted.

Let me repeat this. As a performer, you are in control. You treat him like any oher heckler. You ignore him the first time. You pause and then ignore him the second time. The third time you break the fourth wall and simply say "I'm sorry, your behavior is really ruining the show for everyone else. If you continue, I'll have no option but to end the show." You don't react, you don't engage... rather you use your power as the entertainer who the rest of the audience likes to shut him up. YOU ARE IN CONTROL.

100% Hypothetical:I find out I'm performing for the KKK (Steve Hofstetter ran into this problem once, and had to change his whole comedic script because 1/2 of it was about growing up Jewish. The KKK members never realized he was Jewish, but I'm colored, not Christian, and from an immigrant family. I think they would figure it out... Actually this story is what lead me to ponder about me running into a similar situation, though on a much lower level)

You talk to the person who hired you and tell them you are not comfortable performing for that group and leave. You are in control. If you lose customers because of that, you don't want to perform for those people anyway.

Now 1 thing I would like to point out is that being racially abused won't happen too often while performing - if ever given I live in a pretty diverse area - I just want to be prepared for if and when it does.

Maas, the bottom line is that you need to be the best magician, the most professional and the most confident and you won't have to worry about hecklers of any sort.

 

[Nurul]

I'm a Muslim, born and bred in the UK - land of the drunks and hooliganism lol
I've been doing performances for about 12 years, not religiously as I have another job but I love performing at bars, have also been hired for parties and conferences. I can safely say I've never encountered any kind of racial slurs whether they're sober or drunk.
The way I see it, if you're looking for someone to hire you at their party or conference and they're a racist or bigot, most likely they won't actually hire you.
Otherwise, you choose your audience when you're out performing. I know that sounds a little silly as you can't tell who's going to heckle just by the sight of them, but you can certainly get a feel for the crowd when your in such a fun loving environment.
If you have this mentality where you feel you're going to get abused then that will effect you in more ways than one. Your performance is going to be bad, your mood is going to be crap, it'll be hard for you to smile and engage all because you have this mentality.
Like RealityOne mentioned, performance is key but so is attitude.
I hope nothing ever deters anyone from wanting to perform.

Best of luck buddy