I know, and deliberately so. My point was to dismiss the whole nebulous concept of social interaction as a science and recommend starting from the point of view of just talking to people in a friendly and relaxed way, which isn't too far from what you're suggesting. I tend to find that it's more productive to jump in the deep end and just get out there and talk to people, make some mistakes, learn to take the rough with the smooth without worrying about some rigidly memorised structure.
The problem with dismissing that 'nebulous concept' is that you're assuming whomever you are giving this advice to already has certain skills and confidence. You can learn to swim by jumping into the deep end, but you'll be a far better swimmer if you actually build up and take lessons. For instance, if you jump in the deep end you'll probably more or less figure out treading water and doggy paddle to get to the side. But if you structure your learning to understand how the human body moves in water you'll learn the proper way to freestyle swim and save yourself considerable energy in the long run. To be less metaphorical - If you have no social skills then jumping right into a situation where you need social skills will likely be intimidating, embarrassing and borderline traumatic. It can also have a significantly lasting effect on one's reputation within certain social circles.
Or, you can take some time to learn extremely basic socializing skills which will ease that transition exponentially.
I never said "strong". I'm not really sure what that would mean in this context. I think if someone doesn't understand what "friendly and relaxed" means then my advice still stands. Get out there, approach people, approximate what you think friendly and relaxed means and learn what works through experience rather than appropriating an artificial system of interaction.
It's too much to remember and it's better to start from a strong friendly and relaxed foundation and build from there when you've got that mastered.
Unless I'm mislead by your lack of punctuation I read this as have a foundation which is strong, friendly and also relaxed. If that's not what you meant, then sorry - but you need to proofread.
Ok. You're making assumptions and really, that's what's irritating me. You're saying, "If someone doesn't know what this is, they should fake it." How on earth do you expect someone to fake it, when they don't know what it is? How do you expect them to be able to do that, when that is exactly what they are looking for advice for in the first place? "How do I build a flying buttress?" "Oh, that's easy, go build a flying buttress." That's what you're saying.
Do you watch the Big Bang Theory? You know how Howard acted in the beginning of the series? That character thought he was being relaxed and friendly - would you advise someone emulate him?
Agreed. My advice was geared towards getting that first simple step out of the way, before confusing matters by trying to take on too much extra information.
Again - you're making assumptions. If you were going to build a shed, would you just go buy some wood, nails and a hammer and start building, or would you look into the first steps to make sure you've got some idea of what you're doing? Telling someone who's asking how to approach people to just walk up and do magic is not helping at all - unless they actually already have those social skills. You're starting from an assumption of social skills, whereas I am starting from an assumption of none. I am giving the basic tools to help someone who is socially anxious overcome that hurdle to be able to walk up to people at all.
Building social skills, or "memorizing a structure" as you put it, allows you to learn to recognize the people with whom you will quickly be able to build rapport. It teaches you how to overcome the fear that's
stopping you from doing that approach (the "act before your brain can stop you" rule). It gives you a way to start a conversation with complete strangers when you're not sure what to say (Interesting object worn, followed by stacking). It teaches you not to overstay your welcome and leave people wanting to talk to you again.
In short, it takes people who have zero social skills and teaches them how to effectively and confidently interact without or despite the anxiety and fear they may be feeling associated with that activity. Furthermore it teaches people how to use these skills in any context to improve their quality of life. Humans are a social creature but we're not all innately equipped with the tools to be social. It's a good idea to learn how to use them in an effective manner.
What you are saying is, "Suck it up and just walk up to them." Well, that doesn't work for everyone. That wouldn't have worked for me when I was first learning social skills. Dismissing the amount of effort some people have to put into the basic actions of effectively socializing is ignorant at best. And again, I don't really jive with the current PUA community, but learning social skills is something every magician should do.