Who hand-makes the Distortion gimmicks, anyway?

[Ben Long]

It says that all of the distortion gimmicks are handmade. That got me to thinking (I do that sometimes), who the hell makes them? I could just imagine poor ol' Jay Sankey in some damp dark basement sweatshop meticulously assembling the gimmicks. Chris Kenner comes down...

"Sankey, we need six-thousand more!"

Sankey trembles before the merciless Kenner, "But Mr. Kenner, you said I might be able to see some sunlight after that last three-thousand"

Kenner laughs wickedly. "Hahaha, Mr. Sankey. You amuse me! Now get back to work or no more food for a week!"

Or not...

The imagination is certainly an amusing thing.

When's the last time I saw the sun...?

 

[gcfritz93]

Kenneth Pei... Hope I spelled that right... or at least it says that on the Distortion DVD

 

[AceOfSpades2662]

Now im sure Chris is nice then that

 

[Mega]

WOW thats some imagination you got there.
Really funny by the way.

 

[Liam Carrie]

Poor sankey lol Thats awesome lmfao

 

[Anthony Bass]

'Tis I. They work me super hard, and with no pay. Sometimes, they come down into my basement, and do Distortion just to mess with me. But at least I'm contributing to all you fine people. Peace and love.

 

[j.bayme]

Contrary to the previous posts, the truth is quite hidden. Each fiber in the cards is woven by hand by a team of Finnish elves that works deep within a tree in the town of Keebler, Arizona. These "Keebler" elves work a comfortable schedule of 8 working days a week, 27 hours a day to make sure that each Distortion gimmick is precision made and checked for quality. Thereafter, Dana sprays each card with a special blend of rosemary, magical spices, 3 ounces of Herbal Essences shampoo, and 1 precious ounce of Danny Garcia sweat: our secret, intoxicating ingredient that causes the cards to solicit more insane reactions from your spectators. You think they're reacting to the power of your performance, but in truth they're reacting the mix of smells of burnt hair, rotten cabbage, and dehydrated calamari that Danny's magical aura permeates throughout the air.

Sorry, I digress... the original Moving Pip gimmicks were designed by Michael Ammar and produced for Distortion by Kenneth Peh in Singapore. As we wanted to maintain the quality of each gimmick in high volumes, the actual production of the gimmicks is now done all in the USA by theory11. Each unit is double checked for quality before it leaves our doors, but they are delicate gimmicks and require careful handling. Overall, we've been able to raise the quality of the gimmicks as the production process is streamlined, and we hope to only continue to do so in the future.

 

[Ben Long]

'Tis I.
They work me super hard, and with no pay. Sometimes, they come down into my basement, and do Distortion just to mess with me.
But at least i'm contributing to all you fine people. Peace and love.

Would hugs make it better?

 

[JustinClark]

It says that all of the distortion gimmicks are handmade. That got me to thinking (I do that sometimes), who the hell makes them? I could just imagine poor ol' Jay Sankey in some damp dark basement sweatshop meticulously assembling the gimmicks. Chris Kenner comes down...

"Sankey, we need six-thousand more!"

Sankey trembles before the merciless Kenner, "But Mr. Kenner, you said I might be able to see some sunlight after that last three-thousand"

Kenner laughs wickedly. "Hahaha, Mr. Sankey. You amuse me! Now get back to work or no more food for a week!"

Or not...

The imagination is certainly an amusing thing.

When's the last time I saw the sun...?

That was absolutely hilarious!!!

 

[JustinClark]

Hey Bayme, anyway I could get one in a tally-ho?

 

[Anthony Bass]

These "Keebler" elves work a comfortable schedule of 8 working days a week, 27 hours a day to make sure that each Distortion gimmick is precision made and checked for quality.

Oh, you guys found a new slave name for me?

Now i'm "The Keebler Elf"?

That hurts man.

 

[conjure_pitch]

This thread is funny. My gimmick is working really well. Whatever elf makes it, give him a pat on the back for me.

 

[Ben Long]

That makes sense.

Jay Sankey is an elf.

Of course he is.

 

[Anthony Bass]

This thread is funny. My gimmick is working really well. Whatever elf makes it, give him a pat on the back for me.

People need to realize. The elf is me! I pat myself on the back for you. Kenneth Peh helps though. He brings me food and water. That's about it. Wayne is really nice though. Ho comes down to my cellar, and we talk about Disney World. I heart you Wayne.

 

[Ben Long]

So does Sankey swab the deck?

What did ever happen to him?

I begin to wonder and then remember how much I like The Trilogy.