That's certainly solid William! Although I'd say 3-5 minutes is a bit too long for this sort of thing if we're talking about video. One thing I couldn't help but laugh at though.
Earlier I had said,
Haha! I realize you said "this is the video I would produce if I had the skill and resources" but a large chunk of it obviously wasn't written just for you to take advice from yourself. Just showing that we're all biased towards what we love which is perfectly fine - we all have different audiences. Sometimes we have to let things be what they want to be. In this case, magic certainly benefits from good story telling and cardistry doesn't always need it and stands strong without one (if done right).
For good measure the set should start with a deck production. Maybe end with a deck vanish.
Maybe include a color change?
Earlier I had said,
Although again, my critiques have mainly come from magicians who strongly believe I need some patter. Well... some color changes too. Oh heck, why not a card trick. In all seriousness - just the first three...
Haha! I realize you said "this is the video I would produce if I had the skill and resources" but a large chunk of it obviously wasn't written just for you to take advice from yourself. Just showing that we're all biased towards what we love which is perfectly fine - we all have different audiences. Sometimes we have to let things be what they want to be. In this case, magic certainly benefits from good story telling and cardistry doesn't always need it and stands strong without one (if done right).