I'll break it down by points as they occur to me.
1. Greyscale is acceptable in this context because the lighting is so aggressively contrasting. In color this would look god awful.
2. The Blair Witch-esque handheld is a bit dodgy.
3. Minus points for the quick negative flash.
4. That cut at 0:22 came in a second too late so the transition is jarring.
5. Camera pan at 0:27-0:29 veered too far off to the right. It made it hard to focus on what you were doing because the camera was moving the way the human eye reads, but you were remaining stationary as a focal point. The result was that it was difficult to concentrate when I was getting conflicting desires to watch you but also follow the camera.
6. Another unnecessary negative flash at 0:34. Visual effects like that are typically largely unnecessary. Also I'm not sure what you were going for with the tripod on the pool table. Meant to be reflexive?
7. The ace assembly using the Hot Shot Cut starting at 0:36 was neat, but the flow was a little jerky. Smooth it out and take it slowly if you have to.
8. The flow was going really good up until the cuts at 0:49, 0:50, and 0:51. That segment would have been much nicer with that gentle dolly in without those cuts. I also notice that without the ability to see your face, it's losing some of the human element. It's detached, but not in a very pleasant way.
9. Again with the hand-held cam. It's not doing anything for me.
10. At 1:07 I finally see your face clearly, but for some reason I'm reminded of Bono. The hand-held dolly probably seemed like a good idea at the time, but it feels like it's just padding. Did like the color change, I must admit. The use of greyscale once again worked to your advantage on this one by making the fire show up clearly in what would otherwise be a very washed-out, possibly over-exposed shot. The third negative flash was unnecessary. Also, button your shirt up, for god's sake.
11. At 1:25 the shadows made it hard for me to tell what you were doing and the whole thing ended up looking a little messy as a result. If you were going for the German Impressionist look, mission accomplished. It just didn't do this routine a lot of good.
12. The trick at 1:31 does not play well on camera.
13. 1:32 the routine is a little choppy.
14. Negative flash again 1:38. Very distracting.
15. Pacing at 1:42 feels inconsistent with everything else we've seen so far.
16. Repeat at 1:49 is a little redundant but passable.
17. The card throw from the bridge is an interesting touch. Though book-ended by two close-ups it might feel a little disjointed.
18. 2:02 another negative flash. Have I made it clear that I don't like these?
19. At 2:04 the effect itself is fine. A little difficult to follow in the middle. The distraction comes from the shakiness and speed of the dolly.
20. The title cards at 2:23 are getting dangerously close to pretentious territory.
21. My old nemesis negative flash makes another appearance at 2:48. Fancy ace assembly though. Nice piece of eye candy.
22. The framing at 2:57 is distracting for two reasons. One, I can get an all-too-intimate view of your junk. And two, the lens flare.
23. The outdoor shot at 3:07 seems more like an art student shot than anything else. YouTube's frame compression rate also made it hard for me to tell it was a card boomerang the first time. A medium shot would have been better than the wide shot with the reflexive reference to the camera.
24. Are you really pulling in at 3:13 or using the digital zoom?
25. Awkward for the camera to pan shakily away from you and then cut.
26. I did however like the slow pacing of the following two-handed cuts. Could be a little smoother, but it prevented the complexity of the move from being visually overwhelming and gave it a sense of elegance instead of just eye candy. Also, relax your shoulders more. They looked a little stiff and that tainted the pace with an undertone of awkwardness.
27. Immediately following that at 3:36 though you pulled in from too far away as you were doing the move and most of it was lost. Also the framing was a little too low to appreciate the toss and catch at the end of the arm spread.
28. Negative flash returns to torment me at 3:45. The toss on the arm spread was a little sloppy and the ace slipping right before took away some of the stylishness of the move.
29. I see an old problem from before at 3:47. The shadows are too deep and dark to tell what's going on.
30. Again the shadows detract from the image at 3:56 by making it impossible to see you.
31. The special effects at 4:01 were totally unnecessary.