Advice needed on social anxiety.

Oct 14, 2013
45
0
Any of you magicians who've been at it for a good while now have any advice for a guy who's battling some social performance anxiety?

I'd also love to hear some stories of how a lot of you have overcome this same fear when approaching people to do magic! :)
 
Jan 1, 2009
2,241
3
Back in Time
Depends on how bad you have it. Usually it's going to be something that you're going to have to live with and just take baby steps to over come. But if it's a really big problem than I'd suggest you try to speak to a therapist or doctor about it and work out a way to over slowly over come it.
 
Jun 27, 2013
115
1
Watch Daniel Garcia's Material which is by far in my opinion has the greatest performance style. He also gives advice on his Penguin Magic lecture. Can you be more specific on your problem?Also, Andyfieldmagic has tips on how to approach people here is the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwVpsWOjrIA
 
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Jan 11, 2013
168
2
Dubai
It depends on whether your suffering performance anxiety or social anxiety. If its social anxiety then depending on how bad it is then I agree with randy talking to a professional about it can really help. A best friend of mine who i lived with for years had crippling social anxiety but after spending time with a professional you would never know now that he ever suffered with it. If its performance anxiety then the only real cure for that is performing. I know that sounds contradictory but its the only way. Every performance you do a little bit of anxiety will vanish, because you will get more and more comfortable.

If you are just starting out either in magic as a whole or starting out performing to people after spending time practicing effects it will be difficult, every magician goes through that. The first time I did it was in Convent Garden in London when iwas about 15, it took me hours to pluck up the courage to go up to my first person. I'll never forget it performed a ambitious card, hands shaking like you wouldn't believe, but i got through it. Once I did it i got a little bit of confidence, so going up to the next person was a little bit easier and so on and so on. By the end of the day and fears I had about approaching people had gone.

Don't be nervous about people saying no to you, dont take it personally, not everyone has the time to watch magic on the streets or just not really that interested. Dont worry about messing up, at somepoint it will happen, if you brush it off and dont make the situation awkward then the people you are performing for will be forgiving. And if you are doing it for free, then just see it as performance practice.

Trust me if its just performing you are worried about then you are making it into a bigger thing in your head than it actually is. Push yourself to do it and you will find that all the things you were worried about don't really mean much.
 

c.t

Apr 17, 2013
125
0
Australia
I dont know if this is just me but whenever im performing for important people or groups of more than 15 or so i shake so much someone once asked me if i was having a mild seizure (not really, but you get my drift) yeah its bad, while my hands are shaking really bad i obviously would have really crap slights so i normally do a mentalism effect (twins touch, normally due to minimal sneaky moves and its a powerful opener as well) and that normally gets good reactions, by the end of that though the shakes are gone and i can go on with some more tricks.
I heard somewhere that nervousness and shakes before performing is your bodies way of pushing yourself for a good show.

In terms for the actual anxiety side all i can say is literally the more you perform the more you get used to it and the less nervous you get.
This might sound really far out and super difficult for you, but go practise to random people on the street who wont even remember you after you leave, just as practise to overcome it, it wont happen overnight but over long periods of time it will go away i promise :) good luck mate
 
Jan 11, 2013
168
2
Dubai
The shakes can also come from adrenaline that your body will produce before performing. When I was studying acting at uni we were taught centering techniques which would help calm your mind and body before going on stage so things like the shakes, cloudy head from nerves would fade away and you would be calm and focuses before going on stage. If you get a good book on acting skills they will teach you these sort of techniques.

Also finding a character can help with this. Although I don't fully believe in creating a character far removed from yourself, I prefer the classic line be yourself just exaggerated a bit. If you go into your performance with the mentality of being a character rather than completely yourself you almost trick you mind into feeling its not your performing for audience, rather its someone else. That takes away (at least I found it did in my formative years) any nerves of judgement that people may make of you because its not strictly you that is performing, its this alter ego, and you can just concentrate on your performance, rather that what people may think about you. Hope that makes sense.
 
Dec 18, 2007
1,610
14
64
Northampton, MA - USA
I've only shared this on one private forum but, some week's back I was invited to come to a corporate Halloween party. . . I didn't realize just how huge an event it was going to be but it's been a while since I've been around 8,000+ sq. ft. homes and hundreds of guests, and with reason.

Ten years ago I had a bit of a "snap" -- an emotional break-down and ever since that time I've suffered from Agoraphobia; it's tied to social-anxiety and for many, means not being able to leave your own home. . . I've done very good at battling it and thought I was ready to get back into doing shows (yet again) but shortly after reaching the above event I found myself in a state of extreme panic. Long story short, I ended up with physical spams that were so bad that I had bruising across my back and in my legs.

THIS is social-anxiety at it's ugliest. . . sort of, I've seen a lot worse and that includes some noted show people that have bouts of . . . let's say, "Barfing" and leave it at that; conditions that a small handful of friends know about and know how to help them with ("handlers") so that they don't loose face. My problem at this event is that I didn't keep an "anchor" with me -- someone I knew and trusted that was close by at all times.

Social Anxiety can be triggered by many things; I share this experience because I think it is important that we learn to push through such psychological thresholds and make ourselves move forward as best we can or else we become prisoners to it. It's certainly a condition I never thought I'd contract; my being a social butterfly and all. But it's struck down far bigger stars than I ever dreamt of being. If it is something that is seriously troublesome you may want to try hypnosis techniques that's what I use; pre-recorded inductions on Confidence, Inner-Security, etc. as well as a few pieces I've designed for my specific situations. But, you have to be able to turn off the analytical side of your brain in order to let the Hypnotic suggestions to work; many of us in magic have difficulty doing that because we want to analyze what's happening rather than just letting go and being there. But if we can give up that control and allow the "magick" to happen, we can and will see progress.
 

formula

Elite Member
Jan 8, 2010
968
5
Try to be logical about everything. The worst case scenario often isn't very bad at all. The majority of people will want to see some magic, they will probably enjoy trying to catch you out and overall there's no reason to be scared. They're there to have a good time, just like you.

I've performed on TV, for royalty, A list celebrities and extremely wealthy and powerful business people, sometimes I get a bit shaky and sometimes I don't. If I rush in to a performance I will shake for the first 5 minutes because I panic about being unprepared. When I was younger I was much more nervous so age and experience (in life as well as magic) comes in to it as well. Naturally I'm a quiet person and keep to myself but when performing I'm fun, energetic, talkative etc so it's not in my nature to perform and clearly you're not a natural performer either but if you keep trying, keep performing, keep making mistakes and keep learning you should become more comfortable. As the old saying goes, "do something that scares you every day".
 

venom546

Elite Member
Mar 11, 2013
121
5
Even though I have been performing to random people at my school for a long time now, I still to this day get nervous or shy. I am in general used to be shy but then performing magic to people kind of helped me with that. But I still get nervous performing for someone I don't know or a family member. To help with it though I make sure I am confident. I make sure I am confident with myself and my trick. If I am going to show them a trick I can perform about 5 out of ten times, then I will be extremely nervous about messing up. But if it something I know for a fact that I have it down and can perform it ten times in a row and not mess up at all, then I won't be as nervous. But I know that is what helps me. I know everyone is different though so lol
 

formula

Elite Member
Jan 8, 2010
968
5
Since you're in school I'm assuming you're not very old. It could take years to develop yourself. Personally I wasn't really confident approaching people until my mid-twenties and I've been doing magic since before I was a teenager so it can take time. More than anything just try to have fun while you're performing and with age you will hopefully be able to deal with your nerves better.
 
LOL,if its a perform anxiety it was like me at first,did you always think "how if i do it wrong? how it a bit flash when i do my double lift?" i was there too,bro! . Then just try ! for me its work and i know its just only in my mind. actually try to thinking positively . then after i stop playing magic for 2 years that anxiety come again but i just need a moment where i can move from this situation. lets try together to face it ! stop think negatively but just do it!

maybe just started it with you closed friend or family then public. just try,at least you give a try !

sorry for my improper english :p
 
Oct 20, 2008
273
0
Austin, TX area
I'll reiterate some things:

Social anxiety is a real thing. I've been placed on anxiety medication. It was never as bad as Craig Browning's, but it's not an entirely great feeling either.

From that perspective:

Learn to perform. Perform anything you can. Some of my first "gigs" were twisting balloons. Kids are the best. Some of them were running sound and lights at a variety show we did, effectively, for charity. Get used to connecting with an audience and loving an audience. I now treat a local improv theater like it's my second home. The important thing here is that you are conditioning yourself to entertaining people. You are conditioning yourself to being competent and confident in front of an audience.

If you are still in school then try to get any stage experience in that your school will offer. Anything you can get.

Perform magic. Do the thing. Your first performances might very well feel more like mid-term exams than shows. You'll get a lot of hard, fast feedback on your magic. What did your audience like? What did they least like or not understand? What dialog worked and what needs to be replaced or cut? Don't be scared of those. Be eager for what's on the other side of them.

So, perform. Here's the last secret: Performing will teach you what your anxiety really is, even if the anxiety never goes away.
 
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