I'm very new to magic and I was wondering if I could get some feedback on my first routine. Stuff you caught, suggestions for improvement, etc. Anything helps!
Cheers,
Elijah.
Cheers,
Elijah.
Constructive criticism for my first routine?
- Thread starter HarryCopperBlaine
- Start date
First off, kudos to you for working on your own trick. I don't think I'd call this a routine though as it usually involves multiple phases and you only have one effect.
With that said the effect itself:
Premise: it's good, I like the story it's a fun ploy to have you being shown magic.
Overall effect: I saw a lot of issues here. You should work a bit more on you Patter. After about 20 seconds. I lost interest in what you were doing.
There were some movements you did that didn't look natural. Like when you picked up the box off the table to grab the pen. Makes no sense to do and as a spectator I instantly think something of that. Tommy wonder has a great deck switch (or in your case box switch) in his visions if wonder DVDs. That way the switch can happen more naturally and not a part of a moment when people are watching what you are doing. Also don't retell the story in a way that points out moments when something is happening in your hands you don't want them to see. The point there is to not bring attention there. Likewise with your hand dropping after putting the deck down and having one arm usable again looks odd to a spectator.
Lastly you took too much time building to an effect that was just kind of cool. Get to the point
also it would be helpful to see the gum box used earlier in the effect for like the last piece of gum and you throw it away or whatever. Then it becomes more impressive and ties more into the events your describing.
Your character: I kind of liked this personna you created it's different but interesting. However by the end of the effect you came across more as the jerk magician that you made the other person sound like. So I didn't really like you at the end. Watch that
All this to say that you are off to a great start! Keep working at it and keep looking for advice and critique, it has always been so helpful to me.
If you want some good books or areas to look into for some direction on story and presentation. Tommy wonders books of wonder are great. Strong Magic by Darwin Ortiz is another as well as transformations by Lawrence Haas.
Good Luck!
With that said the effect itself:
Premise: it's good, I like the story it's a fun ploy to have you being shown magic.
Overall effect: I saw a lot of issues here. You should work a bit more on you Patter. After about 20 seconds. I lost interest in what you were doing.
There were some movements you did that didn't look natural. Like when you picked up the box off the table to grab the pen. Makes no sense to do and as a spectator I instantly think something of that. Tommy wonder has a great deck switch (or in your case box switch) in his visions if wonder DVDs. That way the switch can happen more naturally and not a part of a moment when people are watching what you are doing. Also don't retell the story in a way that points out moments when something is happening in your hands you don't want them to see. The point there is to not bring attention there. Likewise with your hand dropping after putting the deck down and having one arm usable again looks odd to a spectator.
Lastly you took too much time building to an effect that was just kind of cool. Get to the point
also it would be helpful to see the gum box used earlier in the effect for like the last piece of gum and you throw it away or whatever. Then it becomes more impressive and ties more into the events your describing. Your character: I kind of liked this personna you created it's different but interesting. However by the end of the effect you came across more as the jerk magician that you made the other person sound like. So I didn't really like you at the end. Watch that
All this to say that you are off to a great start! Keep working at it and keep looking for advice and critique, it has always been so helpful to me.
If you want some good books or areas to look into for some direction on story and presentation. Tommy wonders books of wonder are great. Strong Magic by Darwin Ortiz is another as well as transformations by Lawrence Haas.
Good Luck!
For starters , thanks for the great advice Frederick! I've been doing a bunch of research on showmanship all thanks to you. But I feel that it's pertinent to let you know that this effect uses no duplicate pre-signed cards. It is genuinely the spectator's free choice and they can sign it however they please.
Hey Elijah,
Great job man! Agreed mostly with the above review. I do want to say watch out for "over proving" starting off saying, "I showed him the empty box" immediately raises suspicion of whether that box will remain empty (which really ques you up to catch the blatant switch). It could be simplified, for example, as you pull the cards out you could just say something like "oops sometimes a card gets stuck... nope were good" to show the card box empty (make it your style, just casual). Watch the bottom control angle, it flashed. I think making a few adjustments, tightening up the story, and making sure all of your movements are motivated (especially that card box switch - reaching for a sharpie is too weak), that this will kill laymen audiences. Keep up the great work!
p.s. a lot can be done while someone is signing a card...
Great job man! Agreed mostly with the above review. I do want to say watch out for "over proving" starting off saying, "I showed him the empty box" immediately raises suspicion of whether that box will remain empty (which really ques you up to catch the blatant switch). It could be simplified, for example, as you pull the cards out you could just say something like "oops sometimes a card gets stuck... nope were good" to show the card box empty (make it your style, just casual). Watch the bottom control angle, it flashed. I think making a few adjustments, tightening up the story, and making sure all of your movements are motivated (especially that card box switch - reaching for a sharpie is too weak), that this will kill laymen audiences. Keep up the great work!
p.s. a lot can be done while someone is signing a card...
I don't doubt that it is the original signed card. The problem arises in the psychology of the set up and story. As a spectator it can become obvious as soon as you mention the guy "never finished the trick" I feel like by that point we all know the card will be in the box. We don't expect the gum box to be there but we also think, why is it there other than to prove you can get the card into a more impossible location. Having the gum box play a larger role at the beginning will make it seem more like the gum box got into the card box and somehow their card is there too.
Like the above reviewer mentioned, practice practice practice! because of the direction you have chosen with this particular effect. You require the look of having literally done nothing. So anything you do that is a little off, reads VERY off to the viewer. This especially comes into play with the length of the story. By the end I feel like I am waiting for the "punch line" as it were for a long time.
Again keep at it. This is the start of a great effect.
Yeah, I'd say cut out a lot of the patter. Too much was said and not enough was done. I like the trick though. It's a very fun idea. Also, as others said, work on making your movements more natural, especially when picking up the box. When you're showing both your hands empty, use that time to pick up the box and try to do the load with one hand. That way you have a deck of cards in one hand and the card box in the other. It'll give you some symmetry and make it look a little more natural. Not bad though man, keep it up.