The confusion about the two threads: Yes I got the gig and it will be my "first" official gig but it doesn't mean I haven't performed for a lot of people before. I plan on doing the gig and taking a break. I spend so much on magic and for what? I get so nervous and think that hey, I'll just go and **** up because of my nerves. What a waste of money. It got to the point to where magic was my life. If I wasn't practicing, I was thinking about how to create the best possible experience for a potential performance, but then I would remember I would probably chicken out. It frustrates the hell out of me and I can't stand it. I feel like I have the potential to be good but at the end of the day it just comes out to being afraid to perform for large groups. For example, one of my favorite styles of magic is the type that is presented in The Garden of the Strange. However, I feel like I could not possibly bring those effects to their full potential. In actuality, I feel like I have not the capability to be a convincing performer. Therefore, the thought of, "Hey, I really suck and should quit." popped up in my head.