'Image.' 'Reputation.' - AKA 'That Ego Thing.'

[praetoritevong]

So what is with us magicians and being so bloody self-conscious and egotistical about our image?

I was watching a YouTube magic video a while ago, as I do. In fact it was the video of someone who had asked for advice, a member of this forum (who shall go unnamed and to the best of my ability this post will not reveal this person's identity - so stop fretting, your 'reputation' won't suffer any harm) who invited critical comments in order to improve because he did not consider himself a beginner. Fair enough so far?

Sure.

So I thought, oh great, for once, someone who actually does want to take advice, a rare thing these days. I entered a response along the lines of, "You are presenting a puzzle rather than magic. Your sleight of hand is solid, but I don't feel like you're performing magic or anything beyond showing off; well done on the moves, but perhaps focus on the performance side of magic rather than the secret." This is the general gist of the comment, which took up all 500 characters.

Good so far. A few days later I returned to see if he had read/responded to my comment. The comment had been deleted.

Really, guys? Seriously?

Comment me, and be tough on me cause I want to improve, I'm definitely not new. Oh, but if you actually differ from the 000s of sheep who will laud me with praise (invariably making my ego grow), I will delete it because it says something bad about me. And we can't have that, now, can we? A bad comment on a YouTube video?

Oh noes!!! Somebody isn't praising me! On the internets!!!

Magic is a performing art - and even if you disagree about art, it's still about performing. One of the first and hardest to learn rules in theatre is this: It's not about you. That's right, magicians. It's not about you! Now ain't that a kick in the head!

How's this for another one (and believe me, it's ruefully that I admit these secrets) - the secret to making yourself look good while performing is to focus on everyone else! In theatre, it's the other actors. They make you look good! In magic, it's the audience. You must focus your performance on their whims and desires, not yours, because to get that praise, you have to give first, and if you're all about the taking, get out of magic, and do something else, because you will never reach your potential as a magician and there will always be many more magicians who will be far better than you.

So I posted the same comment again on that person's video - with an addendum of "I thought you wanted to improve, not hide behind a facade of anonymous comments. If you want to improve, this is how."

Deleted. Of course. I wasn't surprised.

One truthful comment guys, one comment. "You can do this better." And it was deleted. So what does that say about someone who tells everyone they're pro, and then as soon as a comment that wasn't even negative - just not positive - comes along, deletes it? You won't find Aaron Fisher ignoring advice. You would never have found the late Dai Vernon ignoring advice, or being a sook about a neutral comment. So what's the big deal? That you suddenly don't have 5 stars and 100% positive ratings on every single video? Oh noes! You fail at life! You've actually broken magic! How could you? You bastard.

What it says is that someone is a beginner magician, who really only cares about image - what other people think of them, how they appear to people across the earth that they don't even know. Kinda sad, no? Come off it dude, that's how a noob magician first beginning acts! It says, I don't know the first thing about magic or how it's meant to be presented, no, I'm too caught up in myself and that, ladies and gentlemen, that is a huge problem in magic. Never mind some tool in a mask showing you how to saw some scantily dressed lady in half!

I was so, so disappointed, considering who it was.

Now I'm not saying that I know everything. I'm a young'un in magic. But we can do better than that.

Why does one comment that simply isn't totally positive such a bad thing? Even if the advice was taken into account, it says a lot for our vanity that we delete a post that makes us look bad. Repeatedly, without further correspondence. Why are we so insistent on distinguishing ourselves as better than someone else? Who, for that matters, cares, if I am a better magician than the fellow who lives next door? This is even more absurd given that it is not even people we know! I care what my family and my friends think. I don't really give a damn about anyone else's opinions if they don't like me - why should I?

Here we are whinging about a comment from an anonymous person on another continent, because they stain our "image" with a neutral comment, just in case someone else we don't know is secretly keeping tally - or even worse, stalking us (something I think sometimes people secretly would like to happen to them). Oh, the humanity!

You know what? Don't flatter yourself. No-one else cares that someone gave you a bad review. No-one else will give enough of a damn to take note or change their opinion about you. As a matter of fact no-one else probably gives enough of a damn to have formed an opinion of you.

So really, what's the point?

Yes, this post is in many ways directed at that specific person, but I know it is not an isolated occurrence, and I am sure that this is pertinent to many people on this board both as an alarm clock and general advice.

Before we can improve our magic - if we actually want to become better, and advance from the ranks of the beginner - we need to start taking ourselves less seriously, analyse ourselves better, and just in general stop being so damn arrogant about this business. Don't flatter yourself, re-enter the real world, and for God's sake - it's not about you.

I and others have written many times on the importance of this one thing. Ego is the one thing that hinders this more than any other. It's basic performance theory - it is to performance what gripping the deck is to magic. Before you make the sleight, you have to place the fingers. Before you make the performance, you have to learn your place.

I don't care about that one comment, I really don't. But please guys, drop the mindset, will you? If you have it, and you realise it, please just drop it. It's only a comment on YouTube. But ego is indicative of a huge facet of your magic.

And yes, like Britney Spears in a limousine, it shows. Oh yes it does.

 

[Randomwrath]

Another great essay by Prateoritevong.
Whilst I agree with a lot of what you said here, I think that it is important that magicians DO have an ego to a certain extent. After all, what is magic (or any performing arts for that matter)? Look at me! Look at what I can do! Magic is, even with audience participation and great patter, a way of saying 'Hey, I can do something you can't!" Therefore, I think a magician without an ego is a bit of an oxymoron.
Feel free to disagree, but that's my opinion. Great essay again.
Adam B

 

[mini magician]

Nicely Said but as you said Ego is a very big problem in all aspects of performing, From artists thinking their all that to say a footballer thinking he is great.

In the end no-one will remember that one bad thing said but all the good things but unfourtunately some people are stuck to far up their own butt to see that.
They cant accept the fact that they can do better and they dont really want other peoples advice.

I personally know how good your advice is i have asked you for it many times and i thank you. Hopefully people just realise that its not the end of the world because someone says "Oh that can be improved."

But really everyone naturally has an ego people just have bigger ego's than others

Everything needs improvement everything. ( Except for mountain dew do the dew )

Yes Brittany Spears is a Limousine and it does show.

Tom

 

[praetoritevong]

Randomwrath, thanks for disagreeing, and thanks for your support Tom ^^ And might I say publicly that Tom apparently pulled off something fierce with an epic performance on the train xD

Adam: I think what you're talking about isn't ego per se - I do understand what you mean though. I guess I differ on two accounts, which I'm more than happy to talk about.

Firstly, I think that something along those lines is important - but rather than ego, it's self-awareness, the difference being a fine line. Self-awareness is important in that we have to analyse how we present ourselves to the audience, how we see ourselves, how they might see us, and how we could do better. In this sense, it is very important to be aware of ourselves. But being self-aware in this sense is being aware for the sake of the performance, and ultimately, for the sake of others. Yes, it's self-serving in that it'll help us become better, but that is certainly a good motive and a far cry from being aware of what others say of us to placate our own feelings. So yes, this sense of self-awareness is necessary, even confidence in oneself, which is also essential, but in this context, I would say that it is simply that, self-awareness, and one which does not progress into the realm of an ego.

I would also suggest that magic isn't really about what we can do and what the audience can't. Developing what Tom has said above, what people remember is the experience. That, in my opinion, is what magic is about, the experience of amazement, of magic. Derren Brown writes that magic is the anecdote waiting to be told in ten years time. What they remember more than the actual trick though was the emotion, that they were fooled, that they saw something impossible, amazing, pure. Hence, in my eyes, it is to this ultimate goal that magicians should strive, and it is this which an ego will hinder because in creating an experience, a performer, any performer, must be selfless.

 

[JamesAV305]

Haha this is about magicman1212 isnt it?! The "go hard on me" line is what made me think it was. Then i checked back on a comment i made about his queens routine (which was quite bad and i told him what to fix) and he had deleted the comment. So i just posted asking what is the point of asking people to "go hard on you" if you are just going to delete any negative comments.

 

[mini magician]

thanks for your support Tom ^^ And might I say publicly that Tom apparently pulled off something fierce with an epic performance on the train xD

Trust me that was so much fun. This is a great essay aswell man glad i could be apart of it.

 

[praetoritevong]

Haha this is about magicman1212 isnt it?! The "go hard on me" line is what made me think it was. Then i checked back on a comment i made about his queens routine (which was quite bad and i told him what to fix) and he had deleted the comment. So i just posted asking what is the point of asking people to "go hard on you" if you are just going to delete any negative comments.

Thanks for your post mate; as I mentioned in my post, I will not name the member I referenced, and I would discourage anyone else posting suspicions, whether from certainty or from speculation. As such, I would prefer you edit your post, but obviously that's your choice so I won't argue for or against it either way.

Nonetheless, as I again mentioned in my post - this does apply to many more people than simply the one I commented, it applies to many people and even in general to magicians who are not guilty of this, it nonetheless contains some important lessons.

Trust me that was so much fun. This is a great essay aswell man glad i could be apart of it.

Glad you enjoyed it man, wish I coulda seen it

 

[FadedTemp]

Praeto, great post but it was a dead give away as to who it is. At least it was for most of us 'regulars' like DJ haha.

I see it simply as..... Those that are not willing to take criticism on their work don't really have the heart to be doing it. If you really want to improve and become a better at something then you should take in what others tell you, whether it's positive or not. Sure, sometimes what people say wont actually be true but you can usually figure that out on your own.

The thing is, this is a topic that can actually apply to many things in life and not just to magic. If you get commented down on a video, practice more before you decide to post a video. Consider that video a lesson learned and move on.

If you really can't stand the heat, then disable comments when you post videos so others can't say anything.

 

[praetoritevong]

Maybe I should reconsider who I think I'm fooling, then "Magicians are delusional about what an audience picks up and what an audience knows." Oops, sorry Andy! P Kudos to anyone who got the reference)

Well, at any rate, I'm not so concerned about the specific naming/shaming routine lol. You're right though - if you can't take criticism, don't perform magic. The old argument that "If you can't do it better, don't criticise" comes to mind, which I think is rubbish in most circumstances. If you put yourself in the public spotlight as a performer does, you open yourself up to public scrutiny. Just in general though, it's more of a concern to me to the magic circle as a whole rather than one individual person (or comment). Thanks for your imput

 

[FadedTemp]

Maybe I should reconsider who I think I'm fooling, then "Magicians are delusional about what an audience picks up and what an audience knows." Oops, sorry Andy! P Kudos to anyone who got the reference)

Well, at any rate, I'm not so concerned about the specific naming/shaming routine lol. You're right though - if you can't take criticism, don't perform magic. The old argument that "If you can't do it better, don't criticise" comes to mind, which I think is rubbish in most circumstances. If you put yourself in the public spotlight as a performer does, you open yourself up to public scrutiny. Just in general though, it's more of a concern to me to the magic circle as a whole rather than one individual person (or comment). Thanks for your imput

When I first started graphics designing I wanted to follow a similar rule, as far as if I can't do as well as someone else I shouldn't say anything about it.

Later I realized, just because you may not be as skilled or talented doesn't mean that your contribution wouldn't help. So I now give my opinion where I feel it's necessary and even if it's not something I'm particular good at I do what I can to provide good information as well as reasons for my way of thinking in hopes that they can get something out of what is being said.

 

[Zeedub81]

Good post. People who can't take critisism shouldn't put, "go hard on me."

Saying something like, "your horrible, just quit." is much different than giving advice on what to improve. I can understand deleting comments in the second quotation, but deleting constructive critisism is just stupid.

 

[Randomwrath]

Randomwrath, thanks for disagreeing, and thanks for your support Tom ^^ And might I say publicly that Tom apparently pulled off something fierce with an epic performance on the train xD

Adam: I think what you're talking about isn't ego per se - I do understand what you mean though. I guess I differ on two accounts, which I'm more than happy to talk about.

Firstly, I think that something along those lines is important - but rather than ego, it's self-awareness, the difference being a fine line. Self-awareness is important in that we have to analyse how we present ourselves to the audience, how we see ourselves, how they might see us, and how we could do better. In this sense, it is very important to be aware of ourselves. But being self-aware in this sense is being aware for the sake of the performance, and ultimately, for the sake of others. Yes, it's self-serving in that it'll help us become better, but that is certainly a good motive and a far cry from being aware of what others say of us to placate our own feelings. So yes, this sense of self-awareness is necessary, even confidence in oneself, which is also essential, but in this context, I would say that it is simply that, self-awareness, and one which does not progress into the realm of an ego.

I would also suggest that magic isn't really about what we can do and what the audience can't. Developing what Tom has said above, what people remember is the experience. That, in my opinion, is what magic is about, the experience of amazement, of magic. Derren Brown writes that magic is the anecdote waiting to be told in ten years time. What they remember more than the actual trick though was the emotion, that they were fooled, that they saw something impossible, amazing, pure. Hence, in my eyes, it is to this ultimate goal that magicians should strive, and it is this which an ego will hinder because in creating an experience, a performer, any performer, must be selfless.

I completely agree with what you said in the aspect that if you can't take constructive criticism, don't ask for it. I think it was maybe in the phrasing, as you pointed out here.
Great post by the way, you do come out with some brilliant advice.

 

[Vior]

When I first started graphics designing I wanted to follow a similar rule, as far as if I can't do as well as someone else I shouldn't say anything about it.

Later I realized, just because you may not be as skilled or talented doesn't mean that your contribution wouldn't help. So I now give my opinion where I feel it's necessary and even if it's not something I'm particular good at I do what I can to provide good information as well as reasons for my way of thinking in hopes that they can get something out of what is being said.

Nicely put, something that everyone here should bear in mind. Your skill is secondary, personality and attitude is something which should always come first.

 

[Dima]

Finally, thoughtful discussions about issues that matter. Not, "new deck of cards" or "what are the best tricks?"

 

[jok3r]

very nice post, some people just dont know how to take "constructive criticism "
As your not telling me im a total failure, I think being critiqued as long as its by someone who knows what there talking about. It can only make you better, I also play basketball so im used to constructive criticized.

again nice essay, as always

 

[praetoritevong]

Guys,

I would just like to take a moment firstly to thank everyone who's posted here, but also note that the particular member I referenced has PM'd me with apologies and has taken the time to start a conversation, and for that, respect.

For the regulars, or for anyone who wanted to find out, it is by now fairly easy to work out who it was, but nonetheless I will stand by my original post in not naming that person.

Yeah, I was harsh, I definitely admit. Although, it's definitely something that's an issue. And, thinking about it now, to a large extent I think it's present in a lot of magicians' performances, in many, many different ways, not just the inability to take criticism (of course, this is difficult for anyone, I understand that). Amongst these are performing with yourself in mind rather than the audience, which is something I touched on in my original post. Always remember you're performing for the audience, and if there's one thing to take from this, take note of the times I referenced theatre in my original post.

Just some more thoughts..

 

[Magic Man4293]

Unfortunately there are a lot of people who say you suck in a video comment just for the fun of it. But the magician needs to know constructive criticism and use it, as it is the best tool for fixing your flaws. Here is why I laugh when I read someone deleted your comment it's almost like someone getting advice at an IBM meeting and running away. Anyway I agree with you whole-heartedly and hope some of the noobs read this thread.


-Michael

 

[William Draven]

It seems magicians tend to play petty reputation and ego games more than they should.

Take a look at the politics that go on behind the scenes at the Magic Castle. It does turn into a bunch of He said she said when you boil it down to bare basics.

I do my best to stay as objective neutral as possible and out of the affairs of others.

Seems to be a good policy that has mostly kept me out of trouble.

 

[praetoritevong]

Something I found funny working on films as an actor was that, apart from the obvious awesomeness of making a film, ultimately, there still is, and always will be, workplace politics. I'm not surprised that there is such a thing at the Castle too.

 

[Justin.Morris]

hmm, great post. Lots of good things underlying there. There is something to be said about the humble performer (Dai Vernon, Eugene Burger, David Copperfield, David Blaine etc), vs, the egotistical performer.
You can be humble, and yet confident, without having a huge ego.

good thinking

j