New Website? Your thoughts about it?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by ArmanMagic, Apr 6, 2013.

  1. Hey guys,

    I just created a website to promote myself as a magician and I was wondering if you could check it out and give me some positive advice on it?
    http://armanmagician.tk/
     
  2. Nice job overall. The videos page didn't load for me, not sure if that is a browser issue or some other problem but everything else was quite fast to come up. Your wording could use a bit of tweaking in spots. I would be happy to help you out with that if you like just let me know.
     
  3. Could you give me some suggestions? And I found that problem with google chrome, I believe if you go into the URL type in thing it will ask if you want to load unsafe scripts and you must allow it. I don't know why it does that but trust me there's no viruses.
     
  4. I couldn't boot up onto the home page.. hmmm
     
  5. Avoid word repetition in sentences, an example is the first sentence in the second paragraph uses the word event twice. While the sentence technically makes sense it is a bit awkward.

    There isn't a ton of writing on the site so if you are happy with the what you are saying and can give me a bit of time I can do an edit on what you have there and if you like the changes you can cut and paste it into the site. I have a bit of work that I need to finish first but could probably find time of the weekend to run through what you have up.
     
  6. I would really appreciate that thanks!
     
  7. The website isn't even loading for me. I'm on a Mac using Safari, if that is any help to you.
     
  8. A few tips I'd give:
    Consider removing the 'good time' on the front page.
    Remove comma after 'Teenage magician'.
    Replace 'teenage' by 'young'. Teenage has come to have some negative connotations for many.
    Reword 'new fresh feel'. Perhaps remove one of those adjectives.
    'to his magic' 'performed for'
    Reword 'no matter what event you have'. Perhaps 'No matter what the event'
    'and skill for the occasion'
    'Despite being 15.. 'magic of the highest caliber..'
    'please email him at...'

    You use the third person on the welcome page ('he' when talking about yourself) but other parts of the site are in the first person ('About me').
    Your 'entertainment services' section is great. Why not move that content to the front page?

    Good luck.
     
  9. Hi Arman
    Sent you some info to the email address on your site.
     
  10. This is my job, although these days I have better skills programming behind-the-scenes stuff than designing the visuals. I'm feeling sick right now, and apologize if any humor doesn't get proofread out. Just know that I already think you did great and now I'm looking for smaller details to help you out.

    Okay, first of all, it's good! You have avoided a metric ton of beginner mistakes. It's simple and clean in appearance. You've outdone almost every person your age who ever tried to author his own website.

    If it's available to you then please pay $10 for a .com domain name. You might even get it closer to $5 in the right places. Some internet providers have actually blocked .tk domain names in the past. I'm not sure if many still do, but it could be a problem. A .com address actually means "commercial" and it looks like you mean business.

    My first applicable question was "Where does he perform?" The city is buried a little, and the state isn't even mentioned. So, from the front page.

    I can speak from a generic marketing perspective, but not from marketing magic services. Someone else probably has better advice on most of your text. Here, I can only ask for one thing:

    I personally think the appropriate sentence would look better if phrased more like this: He has performed for hundreds of people in and around St. Charles Illinois. Maybe even bold "St. Charles Illinois." Of course, it should be in your own words.

    I have to ask, since it came up elsewhere: [thread=38928]No matter what event?[/thread] There may be some adventure in receiving awkward inquiries. Yet, it may put you and your potential clients at rest if you simply name your best areas.

    For even better ideas on how to do this right, see your own Entertainment Services page. You've already done better than I can help you with. I just think a very short variation could work better than "No matter what event..."

    About Me
    Overall I'd say to proofread the text. Say it out loud, and ask if it sounds natural. Ask how you can say the same things with the smallest possible number of words. This is something you're doing very well at already. I'm just asking you to go one step further, and only on this page.

    The "Likes" on the right side of your about page are kind of distracting. "Good times" and "Having fun" are even taboo for a 25 year old job-seeker's image, and they might hurt your chances of getting work.

    To add praise, the Facebook page and Twitter feed are showing the professional side that they need to. Good stuff.

    I really like the "Entertainment Services" page.

    One last praise & critique. You've done a great job of putting your contact information exactly where it needs to be. Unfortunately, it's not on your "Contact Me" page.

    Anyway, I like the site. It's a clean design. It's welcoming. You have images of yourself performing on your site and your Facebook page. Your text is very short and direct, as it should be. You did really good work.

    Quick Edit: Colin looks to be doing a great job taking on some of the grammatical issues.
     
  11. I'm on a MacBook Pro running Google Chrome and cannot even get your page to load. Anyone else still having this issue with his website?
     
  12. #12 AndrewJ, Apr 7, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 7, 2013
    Okay, I did a little more investigating.

    .tk addresses do apparently get blocked by some service providers. It doesn't seem to be as severe as it was three years ago, but it's still an issue. Arman is also using a very unorthodox webhosting solution. That may also be causing some problems for some people.

    So, very quickly:

    Spend the $3-$10 for a paid domain name.
    It looks better. If you care about being found in the search engines (which I could get into later) then you want to ditch the .tk address for a .com ($10) address. If you want the site to be usable then at least get the three dollar .info domain.


    Use a web host.
    I actually admire the combination of web address and the way you got your files online. But, there's no telling if that's stopping other people from viewing your site. Between your makeshift host and precarious web address, it's easy to imagine see how problems can occur.

    I also had a thought for that "Likes" thing on your Personal Page. Maybe 20 words or less about your show or philosophy. Don't actually make it say philosophy instead of likes. Just write something that describes the goals of your show there.

    I know that money can be difficult to come by when you're that young. In this case, maybe someone else with more current experience can help you find a reliable web host at your budget.
     
  13. #13 Diavo, Apr 7, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 7, 2013
    Chrome on Windows 8 loads everything except the embedded videos on the Videos page. I do have some add-ons in Chrome, such as Ad Block Plus, but that doesn't block embedded YouTube vids.
    Firefox on Win8 loads everything.

    The website looks very good, I like it.
    The only suggestion I have in addition to ones other people have already made is make sure you write in your Blog page, and frequently (at least once a week).
    I don't like going to a performer's website to find out more about them and become a follower and then see their last blog entry is dated 6+ months ago... or there's only 1 blog entry dated the day the website went live... or the monthly blog entry starts with "I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while but..." [many amateur webcomics do this, so sad!] because at that point, why even have it?

    Ah, one more suggestion -- can you remove the "Made on a Mac" tag at the bottom of every page? Looks unprofessional and is completely unnecessary. [If you're intentionally tagging it as if to show off that you have a Mac, then please understand you don't get bonus points from anyone by owning XYZ-brand computer.]

    Good luck! =)
     
  14. I've tried using my site on google chrome and the only thing that doesn't seem to work is the videos and contact me page. I've found a solution by going to the URL bar and you'll find a shield next to the star icon and all you have to do is click on it and allow it to upload.

    Also I'd like to point out since I made this on a mac, it doesn't let me take that out of the page. I guess Apple wants to make sure that they have credit for creating the template of the site.

    This is just a temporary site. I'm trying to find a good web host right now so I could get rid of the .tk and use a .com.
     
  15. I would recommend using weebly.com for your hosting. They have templates and you get unlimited bandwidth. (You can check out my site at http://www.josh-clarke.com if you want to see an example of a template.)

    Also, godaddy.com has domains (.com) for $0.99 for 1 year, but you have to search Google for "cheap domain name". The link will be in the ads above the search results.
     
  16. Sorry to hijack your post however I also have a new site - http://alfiegwhattam.wordpress.com

    Yours is great by the way, just a few grammar issues, apart from that it's great (I suck at grammar also though).
     
  17. If we are going off visual - its not bad..reminds me of Justin Kredibles site lol

    Add some more color and check out DavidBlatter.com and Vanishingvinny.com as they have same kind of feel and may be a great source of inspiration.
     
  18. Haha yeah I wasn't planning on it to look like that, but I do like Justin Willman's site!
     

Share This Page

Searching...
{[{ searchResultsCount }]} Results