Why Do People Act Like This?

Oct 12, 2009
Navarre, Florida
Every magician....actually...every guy on this forum should print that out and truly understand what he is saying and then apply it. Forget magic, it will change your interactions with men and women. If you can actually apply what he is saying, anything you do in magic will be much more well received than whatever it is you're getting today even if you don't pick up another new magic book, DVD, or trick again.

Of course what Haunter is saying takes discipline, work, risks, rejection, and a desire to actually be a better man. It's not someone hand feeding you something on a DVD.....which is why most guys won't truly understand what he is saying.

Thanks a lot man! I recently got this book called Social Intelligence and its had me really looking at the social and psychological dynamics of my performances lately.
Sep 10, 2008
why though? I don't understand why that impression is bad

It's saying something along the lines of "I'm so obsessed with my hobby that I simply must be doing it every second possible", and "look at me while I try and act all cool and laid back, though I'm really screaming for attention."

That's the message that comes across.


Director of Operations
Team member
Jun 5, 2009
Charleston, SC
With an addition to Haunter's post, check out post 25 of this page. I explain some personal issues I had with the exact same problem and ways to overcome it. You guys are giving great advice. This thread is going great!
Jun 10, 2010
Just a small detail I wanted to add is when your friends and family understand that you perform on your terms only they will appreciate it that much more when you do choose to show them something.

Aaaaaand social-jujutsu rant to follow...

*I'm certainly not saying apply this to any and all situations. Just presenting this as some ideas to consider.*

I think more often it is more advantageous socially to at least initially decline the request.

When someone in a group asks you to perform they are giving you value by showing you have this unique 'ability'. HOWEVER, in immediately obliging them, you are giving up that power and may also be seen as supplicating to that person or the group. Basically, they won't appreciate it as much. It will also make you look extremely bad if a particular guy asks you in hopes of you supplicating to him which makes him look better socially. It is typically going to be something guys do, especially in the presence of girls. Without going to far down the rabbit hole that is pick up its called AMOGing. AMOG stands for Alpha Male Of Group and some guys WILL ask you to perform for the sole purpose of showing their dominance over you.

There are a few very attractive benefits to declining to immediately perform, especially if you are dealing with an AMOG:
1. You now have a value that no one else in the group has, most likely given to you by the person of most authority and highest social standing.
2. You now, have permission to perform at ANY point in the interaction. (This is especially useful in the case of an AMOG, the rest of the group should be eager to see you perform so when you bring it up later on your terms, even if he tries to refuse he'll have to bow to what the group wants which means he is in a subtle way bowing to you.)
3. You can dole out effects at your own leisure. If the conversation is winding down you can consider going into an effect.
4. You can now wait for conversation to steer to something relevant to an effect you have which will make it feel that much more spontaneous.

A nice bonus is in performing you can show your dominance in countless subtle ways. Simply by moving the crowd around, especially the guys. Tell them to do something for an effect and correct them. You don't have to be an ass just something simple like having them hold their hand out and moving it. Consider choosing them and then dismiss them for someone else. Things like that. Use your imagination.

If you are going to perform right away, consider making them do something to earn it. Ask what they are good at and have them do a little something for you. If nothing comes to mind, say you'll be glad to perform for them but only if they all do an impression of your favorite farm animal. Make them supplicate to you and reward them for their good behavior.

+1 Like.

Thanks :)
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