Asking Her To Prom

[b_08]

Steer is right on with his assessment. RK is going to come up with an effect and she'll go to prom because they've been going out a year and he's going to feel on top of the world....till she breaks up with him within the next year or so. Why? Because this is an obvious case where a guy values the girl far more than she values him.

Most guys today feel they have to constantly "earn" the girl, never taking into consideration what makes women truly attracted to men.

RK, if you really want to make your girl feel like she's with someone special, you would be far better off telling her that just because you've been dating a year don't think that you'll automatically take her to prom and that she has to wine and dine you first. Then tell her she better look really hot for you. Obviously it is done with sarcasm, confidence, and a bit of arrogance and "assholishness" in there....but that's what makes women feel gut level attraction.

All this picnic, note, and corny magic stuff will simply make her feel like she's not with a real guy....she'll break up with you and you won't know what hit you. You'll be the kind of guy that says, "But I gave her the world....what happened?" You don't know how women tick....you think you do, but trust me...you don't. But you'll find out for yourself and when it happens I want you to remember what I said in this post.

 

[Steerpike]

Good thoughts. I just wish that next time Steer uses less trash and more diplomatic methods.

Diplomacy is great when it works. Not so much when the surroundings are not terribly conducive to it.

RK, if you really want to make your girl feel like she's with someone special, you would be far better off telling her that just because you've been dating a year don't think that you'll automatically take her to prom and that she has to wine and dine you first. Then tell her she better look really hot for you. Obviously it is done with sarcasm, confidence, and a bit of arrogance and "assholishness" in there....but that's what makes women feel gut level attraction.

To put it an a way that's less likely to draw more angry flames (this thread has been hijacked enough as it is), it's teasing. Remember the girls teasing the boys they like in elementary and middle school? That never goes away. And they want the boys to do the same because it's a game. And like any game it should be fun. Teasing, playful ribbing, that sort of thing, it's all good.

The 80's rom-com gestures should be used seldom, if at all, and always on your terms, rather than hers. It's more of a happy surprise that way.

Be like Fonzie. We're all gonna be like Fonzie. And what's Fonzie like?

 

[notsoltd]

@b_08...sorry, but I know how to treat a girl....your kindof a dick.

 

[b_08]

@b_08...sorry, but I know how to treat a girl....your kindof a dick.

No...no you don't RK. You know how to serve. I've seen a ton of guys like you...a dime a dozen and they pretty much all end up the same way. But you'll see. Carry on.

 

[notsoltd]

I serve because I give her flowers? I serve because I ask her to prom? I serve because I love her? You my friend are a dumbass. My grandparents have been together for 40+ years, and my grandpa still every few weeks brings my grandma home a rose, and still is the most kindhearted man ever, and he does NOTHING like what you have described.

Riddle me that. *****.

 

[jprace]

Whatever others say in this thread, I think asking a girl to a high school dance using magic is a nice idea. I did it once! If the girl is supportive of your magic and enjoys it, I see no problem. If she hates it, well that's a different story.

 

[Steerpike]

Oh, sweet Satan, here we go...

RK, the point is that at this early stage in a relationship, you can't afford to become too predictable. That's how the spark goes out of relationships. There's science behind this.

After being together for about a decade, passion and unpredictability are no longer needed as much because commitment is able to do most of the heavy lifting. What works for a couple of 40 years is not necessarily going to work for a couple of 4 months. Trust me, I've taken a lot of time to study this.

You don't need to be a dick to impress women. But in the beginning, you have to act like a boyfriend instead of a husband.

 

[RediSpades]

This post has now gotten way out of hand as I am withdrawing the rest of my thoughts and opinions. We have completely and utterly gotten off the subject of magic now. Let's try and focus on why we are really here, please.

 

[notsoltd]

I know it has gotten out of hand, I did not participate in the first argument now, but I am sick of being told im a loser and a servant and that I have stupid ideas.

an idea is an idea...whether good or bad, it WILL work for someone. I asked nicely in the beginning of the thread for there not to be an argument, but hey lets not help this kid with his magic (even though this is a magic discussion) but yeah he wants to be nice to his girl friend so he is the damn devil everyone stop helping him and just tell him how much of a loser he is and how what he is doing is wrong.

In my opinion, if there are "wrongs" in developing magic ideas, then the magic is lost, and there is no point in this entire forum.

 

[tokyoUW]

This is basically what happened, in a very blunt (albeit hardcore analogy). You asked for advice on "how to do something," but in this case, the majority of the responses were against the "how to" idea in the first place. This might not be what you wanted, but since over half of the responses were agreed on the fact that your idea from the beginning might be wrong, it would be in your best interest to give it some thought.

For my blunt, over-exaggerated analogy. It is a little bit like someone coming on and making a post that says, "I am planning to jump off something really high to end my misery. Should I jump off a cliff, or bridge, or... any other ideas?" And instead of people saying, "OH!! a Bridge would be best!" you got, "hmm, maybe you shouldn't jump off anything? There are other ways to solve your misery, perhaps counseling?" In this situation, the initial idea itself was not the best place to start. Many of us think it is the same with your original post/ question.

And back to what Steer was saying about there being a science to dating. He is ABSOLUTELY correct. Your example of how your grandparents have been together for over 40 years has absolutely zero relevance. The simple matter of fact is that, until about the age of 30 when girls really feel the pressure to get married, girls want the "bad guy" the "dangerous guy," the guy that will keep them on their toes. If a girl is with a guy, and things start to get boring, they will stay with you, but they will be looking for a replacement. Until they find one, you gotta change things up.

You say you have been with her for over a year, and that you have been doing magic the entire time. Time to change some things up man.

 

[Steerpike]

an idea is an idea...whether good or bad, it WILL work for someone.

That's not strictly true either. The idea that personal style eventually gives merit to all ideas is a myth. In fact, suggesting a system where good and bad ideas have some weight because some hypothetical person could use it actually defeats the purpose of the meritocracy you're suggesting.

A discussion is meant to be a crucible. That which does not work is burned away, leaving only that which does. You may not like what Baller has to say, but I can vouch that there is weight and truth to his ideas. He and I are both part of what is, scientifically speaking, a massive social experiment conducted in real time. I have repeatedly had to reevaluate beliefs I once held about people in light of the evidence staring me right in the face. What this particular advice boils down to is this:

If you want to go the sappy route, you need to balance it out with some playfulness, teasing, and unpredictability. You're still young, and so is your relationship. Consequently, spontaneity and unpredictability are important in creating the push-pull dynamic that keeps the spark in a relationship. This is not about being an *******, it's about acting like males are supposed to. Women want us to be spontaneous, independent, and just a little cocky now and again. Later on down the road, these things become less important as commitment buttresses the relationship, but that takes years to develop.

 

[notsoltd]

I did not say I have been doing magic the entire time. I said she supports it. She actually got me back into it a few months ago. I have been working, going to school, racing RC cars, racing my car, going to the gym, playing basketball and baseball. Things are always changed up sorry if I wasn't more specific.

I am a great boyfriend to her whether you guys believe it or not, and she will love if I ask her to prom this way. Period.

 

[Steerpike]

I am a great boyfriend to her whether you guys believe it or not, and she will love if I ask her to prom this way. Period.

Okay, now you're digging your heals in rather than checking to see if what we're saying has any merit or not. Also, read the edit to my above post.

Stop... step out of your own head... and think for a second. Are we saying this to be dicks to you? Or are we saying that we have information/perspectives that you were not previously aware of? Is this obstinancy the proper reaction? Or are you just feeling frustrated that your question opened a different can of worms than you expected?

 

[b_08]

It's cool, RK. Every guy in your position says exactly what you say in this moment in time. If you stay on this road, before the age of 21 you'll find yourself in a position where you will feel that your entire world no longer make sense. You'll find yourself saying, "I don't understand...I was a great boyfriend to her, how could she?"

When that time happens read this blog here and it'll make sense to you:

http://baller08.blogspot.com/2010/03/nice-guys-always-finish-last.html
http://baller08.blogspot.com/2010/05/never-listen-to-what-women-say-watch.html

Save it....I promise you that one day someone like you will need it.

 

[Justin.Morris]

I just picked up Fuse. Very cool effect, and super easy to do. You could be creative with that.

 

[CaseyRudd]

Guys, it seems as if this thread is getting off topic. Over half of the posts here are about getting women and how to keep his girl. What he wants is to know what tricks to perform for her along with asking her to prom. Please keep this thread on topic and about magic please.

Thanks.

-Casey

 

[RikAllen]

I wouldn't go to prom. Use the money to go see a live theater show of some sort. It'll be more enlightening and a better use for a rented tuxedo.

If you must go to prom I'd go with this one but instead of an autograph, a card that asks her to prom.

Good luck sir.

 

[Steerpike]

What he wants is to know what tricks to perform for her along with asking her to prom.

That implies that any question asked is the right question. But as numerous people are pointing out, that is not always the case.

If you must go to prom I'd go with this one but instead of an autograph, a card that asks her to prom.

You started out with a half-way decent suggestion and then this. I would have to kick my own ass if I ever did that.

Honestly, how many of you read past the first post?

 

[jok3r]

it is sad that this thread got this much attention, but when someone has something good to say everyone ignores it.

 

[Nikki]

Honestly guys, I believe this thread has run its course. Ive read everything said... and some people have given him suggestions including myself [but via pm to him], he has gotten his answer. He did NOT ask what everyones oppinion was reguarding using magic to ask a girl to prom but what suggestions for tricks are. Its ok to have oppinions and debate, but this has gotten way off track.