Advice!!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by KingLouis, May 13, 2018.

  1. Hey guys I need some advice, I've been doing magic for around 4 years and I'm going to try and make it a permanent job in the future. I recently got into a relationship with a girl and she doesn't know that I do magic and want to tell her but I don't think the time is right, instead I had a better idea, we haven't met yet as she lives half an hour away from me but we are meeting on Saturday and I thought it would be good to tell her then and also perform French kiss to her, is this a good idea? Thanks
     
    Gabriel Z. likes this.
  2. If you are meeting her for the first time then I would abstain from magic altogether.. Wait until you have met with her a couple of times then drop the M-bomb on her letting her know that you are a magician. In my opinion it would be awkward for you to just bust out a deck of cards and start doing tricks, especially if you want a serious relationship.
     
  3. I may be the wrong person to answer this but I don't feel like it is something you should hide. Most will find it interesting and actually want to see you do something! After a first date or while we're texting I'll casually say "Oh i'm flipping through some book on artifice... it's archaic as all hell and hard to read". "What's artifice/the book?" "Expert at the Card Table, some old book on gambling sleights or magic". "You do magic tricks?", "Yeah, I could show you some time if you'd like". Then I would do B'wave or something simple while we're grabbing coffee etc.

    Or if I brought a lass home... I'm caught red handed. In my bedroom and office I've got 9 bricks split split bricks of Tally Hos, 6 bricks of Bicycles in various shades, and 2 bricks of Bees, a stack of fashion decks and gaff decks and a shelf of books + a roll up in my room in front of the mirror and one in my office where there is a desk that has a load of extra cards and random supplies for gaffing. So I'm just upfront about it.

    I'm also guilty of using the french kiss (ONLY WHEN THERE IS PROPER CHEMISTRY) to break the intimate area boundaries a little bit and be a bit cheeky/flirty on a good vibe first date. (Not in the... rapey way that the one youtuber who wayyyy over did it, but as you would normally perform it) The only time it has back fired was after doing a steal and letting her see the deck that I did something a certain way and became fixated on that and got mad I wouldn't do it again for her.

    If she can't accept you for who you are and what you like to pursue, she ain't for you my dude.
     
    Gabriel Z. likes this.
  4. The better idea is to perform magic for someone else with her watching. Seeing other people react favorably to your magic will make her think, "wow, this guy is pretty cool." That will also make her want you to perform something for her. Don't do that immediately. The longer you wait (provided you don't wait too long) the more special it would be (as long as you perform something for her that she hasn't seen you perform before).

    Also, after seeing you perform, that can lead to a discussion of your interest in magic.
     
  5. RealityOnes suggestion of performing for someone else and then having a discussion about it if she is interested seems appropriate. If she is interested that is, I can't stress enough that magic shouldn't be a major focus of the date. Obviously at some time you will talk about yourself and it will likely come up but don't drone on or let it dominate the conversation. One trick is enough unless she genuinely presses you for more. She needs to see you are not one dimensional, and by that I don't mean not only do you have a close up show but a stage act as well, I mean that you have other interests outside of magic.

    If the magic you preform comes up organically that would be optimal, are you meeting somewhere like a restaurant or coffee shop? Does her field of study have any connections to magic, psychology etc?

    All that being said if the date went well and she was receptive to you doing magic ending with the trick you mentioned wouldn't be a bad idea I think. Keep in mind I have been married 14 years so my dating advice might be terrible.
     
  6. Emphasis on the do not make a main focus part. In my post's fake little conversation, I just kind of mention it in passing when talking about myself or what i'm doing if we're on the phone etc. Intrigue is brought up and they'll probably want to see you do a magic trick.

    They did mention that they're -in a relationship- with the person. So I'm curious how you got that far without hobbies and passions/interest coming up.
     
  7. My wife chimed in and said don't tell her until you are married. Preferably after you have a kid or two with her so there is no turning back.

    I can't help but think her advice was a bit autobiographical...

    And for some actual advice...magic you can do thats for someone else thats casual; if you are eating somewhere and need to leave a tip pull out some ones and bill switch a one into a five or ten.
     
    Justin.Morris likes this.
  8. Get a dog or a cat, they are chill with magicians.
     
    lmbrjack likes this.
  9. Got you by 10.

    Fortunately, I started magic after I was married for 14 years and already had a 6 year old.
     

  10. I told my wife day one I was a magician. Produced a rose for her on the first date. I didn’t do any more magic after that though until she asked. As a matter of fact she asked me to show a trick to some kids who looked bored. I did and she tells me that THAT is the moment she knew she wanted to be my girlfriend. I would listen to David and maybe let it come up naturally in conversation. I would not perform anything u less she asks. And if possible perform for kids. It’ll be your best decision ever! (Unless she hates magic lol)
     
    KingLouis likes this.
  11. Yeh we've been dating for around 2 weeks, I have another hobby which is playing basketball which is what I told her that I do often because I do, but I also do practice my magic daily and I'm looking to turn it into my permanent job, the relationship is serious and so is my magic so I thought that i should tell her soon instead of just acting like I don't do anything with my life
     
  12. That's a good idea I thought about extreme burn as I am paying for her and my self , and I suppose it is natural too, I couldn't do that as I want it as a permanent job so it would be hard to wait until I'm married hahaha
     
  13. Honestly if it's good you will win points like a good card to mouth facebook news joe skip if u need a good card to mouth routine but when magic is good it's hard not to like I meet my girl friend at a bar by asking if she was done with her drink proceeded to pour it into my"hand" then brought the drink back and said we shouldnt waste it and she hasn't left my side for 6 months haha but if u don't have polished tricks don't do them maybe later on let her know u do it as a hobby
     

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