I'm on my own side because if I learned one thing watching artistic communities, it's a mistake to take sides.
Anyway, I don't see anyone rushing to contradict my point that if you're too nice people just blow you off. I tried being nice to magicians, and then I realized that we're all *******s. I give advice and critique, but if someone wants my respect, it has to be earned.
Steerpike,
I will gladly be the one to do so. There's a fine between spirited debate, and blatant disrespect and unprofessional conduct. You cross it very often. You're very good at it. That's not a compliment.
If one really wants to be taken seriously in life and in art and in business, you are correct that blind allegiance will not lead too far. But contempt and blind negativity won't even get you on the road. I am no scholar, I am no PHD, I am no scientist, nor psychologist. But I have worked hard and can say with due humility and confidence that I can credit a few things to contributing to any success I have had thus far.
1. Professionalism. Since I was 13 years old in creating and posting on the Ellusionist forums, I made sure that every interaction between myself and others within this industry was done in a professional manner. I made sure that if I posted my opinion on something, it was done in good faith and positive, constructive spirit - backed up by whatever my rationale, right or wrong, was at the time. I posted under my real name. My reputation mattered. Professionalism is key to that pursuit, which goes along with my next point.
2. Respect. I was lucky from the time I was very young to have friends far smarter, more accomplished, and far older than I. It was intentional, as I knew that in order for myself to grow and advance, I must first learn from those with the experience, expertise, and wisdom that I hoped and still hope to one day attain. I first met Chris Kenner at a Copperfield show in my hometown when I was 12 or 13. I used to stay up until 3:00am every night just in case he called me on his way back home from the MGM Grand in Las Vegas following a Copperfield show. I would always pretend like I was already awake. I usually wasn't. Respect. I treated every word of advice and counsel he gave me as golden. I was privileged to have it. But even now, especially now, and calling guys like Chris and Jason and Apollo and Dan and Dave as close friends - I still hold that same respect.
That respect does not only fall to those who are already accomplished, awarded, or applauded. Often I stay up an hour later at night writing members back Private Messages as often as I can. I don't get to all of them. I'm only one guy, and our crew is extremely busy - particularly right now with Magic-Con next week. But at least twice a week, I find myself typing paragraph after paragraph of my responses - whatever their worth - to magicians that write me asking about how to get into theater performances, how to make it in magic, how to create, or anything else. And I don't do it just because I like to think of myself as a good guy. I do it because I RESPECT the members within this community. I am one of those members, no greater. And as long as they respect the artform, as long as they are positive and pure of intent, then they will get my respect in return.
3. Passion. Rarely is anything provided to anyone in this world on a silver platter. Success in any field comes from passion, determination, and dedication. You have to want it. And you have to be willing to work for it. If you're willing to do that - and actions speak louder than words - then you're going to make waves. Growing up, when people told me that it was comical for me to do my first theater show in a room of 500 seats with not a dime of advertising budget, I was stubborn. I was 101% naive. But I knew I would do whatever it took to make that happen. And I worked really hard. And I didn't sleep much for a few months. But I made it happen.
I'll leave this post with one thing. Perhaps my favorite quote of the past year. It was from Conan O'Brien's last episode of the Tonight Show. They are words to live by, and I try to remind myself of it every single day.
"All I ask of you, especially young people...is one thing. Please don't be cynical. I hate cynicism -- it's my least favorite quality and it doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen. I'm telling you, amazing things will happen."