Saturday Night Contest : David Blaine Edition

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by j.bayme, Apr 26, 2008.

  1. lol yea
  2. Okay my video is going to be hilarious.
  3. David Blaine Must do 52 consecutive torn and restoreds with a deck of jerry nuggets while playing yanke doodle on a kazoo listening to the beatles octopuses garden and watching cloverfield trying not to vomit.

  4. 3. David blaine must survive daniel madison doing the knife thing to his face.
  5. Yea...that is a tad bit immature...

  6. 2) David Blaine is attempting to stay in a tree for 2 weeks!!!!!
    That's like, Impossible!

    This just in: the neighborhood children started to climb the tree in support for him.

    Breaking News: Michael Jackson decided to support Blaine by also climbing the tree after the children.

  7. 1. "I David Blaine, will kick Criss Angel in the balls and then Dissapear."
  8. How about Jumping off of the moon?
  9. 2. "And For His Next Stunt, David Blaine Is Planning To turn Dana Hocking Into A Man! Thats Right Folks, Into A Man!"
  10. For the past year and a half I have searched the darkest corners and the highest peaks to discover my next feat. LOOK! The idea came to me during a sleepless night. WATCH! From that moment on the idea has consumed my eat twenty pizzas in twenty hours. LOOK! I have trained long and hard for this. WATCH! No ninja can help. LOOK! No five card studs can assist. WATCH! The next generation of magic will do me no good here. LOOK! This is a pure test of endurance. WATCH! But there is a catch. LOOK! The twenty pizzas I will be digesting won't be delivery...they're DIGIORNO!!! oooooooo...

  11. 1. DAvid blaine will attempt to perform magic non-stop for 2 days... without one awkward pause or stare into the camera.
  12. Entry 1:

    This stunt is one of the most dangerous stunts that humankind has attempted. Doctors inform David that within one hour, his muscles will begin to consume themselves but still, David refuses to back down.
    David Blaine will attempt to perform a dance move, formally known as 'The Worm' for 12 long hours around the border of Times Square while asking spectators to 'please hold their hands out in a sandwich manner' followed by another 12 hours of weird dancing from Fearless. Psychologists have forewarned David that his mental state will become exhuasted after only three hours of 'The Worm' and that the dancing will only generate depression and tension within his psyche.

    (A sample of David undergoing intense training for this stunt can be found here:)
  13. Entry #1:

    " I, David Blaine, am attempting the impossible, I will attempt to talk in a high-pitched voice while being hung above a hungry Daniel Garcia while being shown videos of Jerry Nuggets being ripped in half for 14 days. The ultimate torture, I have trained for months on a all peanut and chocolate nugget diet to prepare for this stunt"

    Entry #2:

    " I, David Blaine, am going to survive months in the wild on the back of Daniel Garcia, eating only leftover pizza and flat soda. "
  14. I'm pretty sure CK made that one up...
  15. 1) In his longest and most difficult stunt yet (and by the recommendation of his doctor), David Blaine will attempt to go without doing any dangerous stunts for a whole 3 years! That is "stunt deprivation" bordering on the extreme!

    2) David Blaine has confirmed rumours of his next stunt, in which he will actually LICK Daniel Madison's beard. This could be Dangerous...

  16. Number Two:

    David Blaine's next feat will be beyond belief. David Blaine will become the first man to ever become...pregnant while in a block of ice while holding his breath while suspended by a crane while standing on a giant dull needle while holding his breath (he's doing a lot of breath holding). You can't tell me that's not the REAL reason he's going to be on Oprah.
  17. "David Blaine will attempt to wipe his ass with the toilet paper in the school for 2 weeks, thats right, the rough, cheap, newspaper-like toilet paper! We will be recording his every step into his bathroom. Watch on HBO to get uncensored!"
  18. Actually...that one has been done already. May wanna change it :p

  19. #140 TRUNDY, Apr 26, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 26, 2008
    2nd and final entry for me ....

    David Blaine will issue a challenge for a MMA fight in the UFC ...His Opponent???

    Chuck Norris

    They will attempt to see if David Blaine can truly perform Magic!! and stay alive ....David will also attempt to let Chuck Norris roundhouse kick him once with out his head leaving his body ... Should be fun ....As a side note here are some fun facts....

    Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked David Blaine so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

    Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

    The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

    When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.

    There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

    Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

    Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

    Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.

    Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

    Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.

    A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

    Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.

    If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

    Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

    Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse you in the face.

    The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

    Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents everytime he listens to a song.

    Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

    Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

    Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

    Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

    Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

    Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

    Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises.

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