Clever Comebacks

[Thatcoolguy612]

I've just started doin strolling and table hopping, and there are some clever jokes that somebody always says like "you're the next criss angel/david blaine" or (after i do a bill change) "change my money into 20s" (My personal favorite) "can you make my wife disappear!" Please post any clever responses for thing like this.

 

[michael_weiss]

Ive been in similar situations an some clever comebacks include..." I do magik, not miracles"....." If I were the next criss angel id stare at you creeply an ask u if ur ready?"..lol

 

[Shakutau]

I dont think you should apply a clever response. It seems you are taking the challenge set upon you.

When i get responses like such (though i rarely get them), i explain to them magic doesnt work that way. I define what magic to me is/ looks like explain to them how it works. The reason they are asking things like that is because they already have a stereotype magician image in their head, if you dont like this notion, you have to correct it. Though not with clever come backs (they may feel you are trying to stand yourself up).

If you get those responses and dont know what to say, just laugh it off and tell them you are not that experienced in the mystic arts. Refer them to someone called Doctor Strange.

 

[Magician_Jonny]

If someone says yo are the next criss angel, I would anwer : who is criss angel?
and lauggh when you say it..

If someone asks you about the wife, say it's against the law, and that you was in prison, because you made the wife of the police officer disappear...


for the bill change, say : "man, if I really was able to do this, I wouldn't be a magician, I would have my house in florida (or wherever you wanna have ot)

 

[MagicShadow9]

Clever comebacks are only useful for hecklers. When people say like "I know how you do that!" or "I saw what you did there."

If people compliment you, why would you wanna make a comeback? A compliment is a GOOD thing. You don't wanna risk turning it into a bad thing with a comeback.

For example, once, me and my friends were at a party showing some tricks to people. I was watching my friend do a coin routine to this one lady. After the trick, the lady says "You must practice a lot don't you?" (Again, COMPLIMENT) My friend responded "Well actually, i hardly practice anymore" And at that moment I could see all the amusement drain out of her face. He did a couple more tricks to the lady but she hardly reacted at all. All her interest was gone. Now i don't know why that comment made the lady lose interest, but the moral of the story is, dont risk turning a good thing into a bad thing with a comeback.

Like the old saying goes: "If it's not broken, don't fix it."

 

[Thatcoolguy612]

thanks, these are really helpful, well when someone says some thing like "I know how you did that!" I'll usually say something like "I know how i do it too -giggle-" but after examining it i dont want to be insulting, so do u have anything for things like that?

 

[Shakutau]

I was watching my friend perform a quick ACR routine yesterday, were we had a person who was quite uncomfortable with being the spotlight, one was a heckler. Now after the effect, the heckler starts explaining how the magician did it (like he always does). Now my friend was listening, and he answered, after their many exchanges of possible solutions "Thats a good method you came up with there, but that's not how it's done.". Now i joined in by saying "Actually you know we could use his method too!", everyone just laughed and shrugged the question off.

Now most people will get shy when faced with the comment of "I know how you did that", but dont. You wont grow that way. Instead make them a part of your act, your spotlight. In most cases i think, they only conclude they have caught your tail when they have had a glimpse of your sleights, maybe a bad angle, maybe poor practice.

 

[Magician_Jonny]

there was one thing on how to get out of situations like this on the daily updates on waynehouchin.com.
if someone says dor exapmle I know how to do this, you just stuck your pinky in there and you know where my card is, than say,"oh really, you know about the pinly break, and do a really bad one, put the pinky really deep in there, and better go on with another trick.

 

[jake the snake magic]

Well looking at this thread i don't think these are really comebacks. But it was really funny once I was doing blueprint and I started smelling the cards acting like I could tell which one is there's by sent. So as I smell card by card the guy who chose the card says, "This will be easy to find my card cause I just went to the bathroom, all ya gotta do is find the one that smalls like my SH**!" I started laughing so hard I could barley finish the trick. HAHA

 

[nexusmagic]

I've just started doin strolling and table hopping, and there are some clever jokes that somebody always says like "you're the next criss angel/david blaine" or (after i do a bill change) "change my money into 20s" (My personal favorite) "can you make my wife disappear!" Please post any clever responses for thing like this.

The first one I would usually say, "Thank you" The Bill change thing "I could change your ones into 20's, it'll only cost you a plane ticket to las vegas."
Or "If I could, really do that I wouldn't be standing here."

"Make my wife disappear." my responses
"Close your eyes." "I am a magician, not a divorce lawyer." "This is a stage not divorce court." During casual conversation, "When your good at something, never do it for free." "I could, were is the nearest river?"

I do not suggest that you say any of the above if it is out of your character. These lines are throways I never say them in a serious tone.

 

[Steerpike]

Asking for stock lines will help you in the beginning, but sooner or later you'll need to come up with something more personal.

For example, in response to the question of making a person disappear, I used to say things like, "No, I'm only good at making my money disappear." It worked for a time, but I wanted something that sounded better coming out of my mouth.

After thinking on it for a while, I started using the line, "No way, I don't need another missing persons report on my rap sheet." It's appropriate to my particular sense of humor and comes out sounding more original and personal. It's become my standard since.

 

[Randy]

"Can you make my wife disappear?" "That's what a Divorce Attorney is for."

 

[Shanku]

Alain Nu has a great response for the "Can you make my wife disappear?" line which he revealed in an interview with Lee Asher. He says, "Why? I need all the audience I can get!"
I modified this to suit my character. My version goes, "Why? More people equals more fun! You don't want less fun, do you?"

If I got "You're the next Criss Angel/David Blaine/other TV magician (I never got this line) I would say, "Thanks, but I kind of like my own name."

If I got "Change my 5s into 20s!" (I don't perform any money magic, although I should consider learning some) I would say, "I could, but it's really hard so it'll cost you $15" (Replace $15 with the difference of the desired amount to the presented amount).

Although I hardly ever use stock lines like these, I may resort to them if I feel like it.

 

[Randy]

You know, I've always wondered why some guys would say that line in front of their wives. It's like they are purposely trying to ruin their own marriage with a tasteless joke.

 

[Morgan B]

Yeah - it is true - I used to respond to "can you make my wife disappear" with, "keep talking like that and I am sure she will disappear on her very own" - haha, back when I would get frustrated with the common lines.

Then I did go the route of having a stock line prepared - but it never really satisfied me or the audience - they would either laugh...or realize that I must have heard that joke 100000 times and I was prepared...in which case, I was NO better than the person making the common joke...actually, by having a stock line prepared for a stock line...then being upset at the stock line used by the audience, I was being a bit of a hippocrate.

I then tried to carry a written prediction in my pocket that said, "No, I can't make your bill disappear" and "No, I can't make your wife disappear" and when they said the line, try to make it like I knew they would say that...after sharing that idea with Eric LeClerc, he added a selection to the process and a little something something that he released under Jay Sankey's Jam Sessions and was kind enough to credit me for my inspiration. LeClerc's ILUS (I love unoriginal Spectators) allowed you to make a prediction that the person that said, "can you make my wife disappear will pick the 6 of hearts" - or whatever - a great effect.

However, I then realized that I could take it one step further - and I think this is the secret to great magic - I wrote an essay on it, and I just watched Eric Mead talk about in the TA videos - but the concept was to use these lines to incorporate your next effect.

Someone says, "Can you make my wife disappear" and you ask him, "Where do you want me to send her" - this catches them off guard...and then you say, "think of somewhere in the world" - then you borrow a bill, for example, and change it to that countries money and/or have the place written that he asks to have her go. Someone says, "I wouldn't want to play cards with you" and you get to discuss that in a REAL conversation, then show them a trick that deals with gambling, cheating, etc - you get to direct the conversation - but they feel the show is more organic and real, because of the "spontaneous" effect you did...when you knew where it was going all along.

This is the next level to your conversation - so the real question should be - and I have done this exercise with friends. What lines do you get, and how can you lead the conversation to arrive at certain effects - what effects can you do?

Welcome to the top floor. Look for my essay - The Magic Secret

 

[Cliff|Bumgardner]

When i get responses like such (though i rarely get them), i explain to them magic doesnt work that way. I define what magic to me is/ looks like explain to them how it works. The reason they are asking things like that is because they already have a stereotype magician image in their head, if you dont like this notion, you have to correct it. Though not with clever come backs (they may feel you are trying to stand yourself up).

Perhaps this is out of context, but do you really take the time to explain your theoretical thoughts on art and life as a response to an off-handed comment? Sounds like a snooze fest to me...

In any event, I really do not understand the concept of coming online and asking for lines... Is originality really that difficult? Oh wait, yea, it is... So THATS why its so respected....


Just be yourself, make stuff up, gain experience. Do you think every modern day stock line was written like a book? No, they were responses that were created by performers to liven up and keep the flow of routines when such questions are asked.

That said, do I use some stock lines? Sure, I'd be lying if I said I didn't. There are some lines I genuinely do like and find that they fit me. Such as the "Who?" response to "You're the next Criss Angel!".... For some reason I just find that hilarious and well fitting.


But the important thing is to loosen up, have fun, be spur-of-the-moment and just enjoy the people you are performing for, don't be set to someone else's created crop of lines.


C

 

[RDChopper]

Perhaps this is out of context, but do you really take the time to explain your theoretical thoughts on art and life as a response to an off-handed comment? Sounds like a snooze fest to me...

In any event, I really do not understand the concept of coming online and asking for lines... Is originality really that difficult? Oh wait, yea, it is... So THATS why its so respected....


Just be yourself, make stuff up, gain experience. Do you think every modern day stock line was written like a book? No, they were responses that were created by performers to liven up and keep the flow of routines when such questions are asked.

That said, do I use some stock lines? Sure, I'd be lying if I said I didn't. There are some lines I genuinely do like and find that they fit me. Such as the "Who?" response to "You're the next Criss Angel!".... For some reason I just find that hilarious and well fitting.


But the important thing is to loosen up, have fun, be spur-of-the-moment and just enjoy the people you are performing for, don't be set to someone else's created crop of lines.


C

agreed, what took you guys soo long?(morgician and you cliff)

 

[Shakutau]

Perhaps this is out of context, but do you really take the time to explain your theoretical thoughts on art and life as a response to an off-handed comment? Sounds like a snooze fest to me...

Dont think of it as being lectured. A line or two would hit the point exactly. But i do try and cater my performances and magic on that line to avoid those questions.

 

[SHANE BLACK]

I don't think there is really any correct answer on how to deal with a heckler. Each case is different and you have to feel your audience out. Some of the responses on this thread lead me to think that the ones giving advice are one of two things or maybe both. Young and in-experienced or they really don't make a living from magic. I'm not trying to stir up the bees nest but there is a some bad advice on this topic in which these topics usually do get these knid of responses.

Do I attack my audience? Never. But do I let someone else especially a heckler take the wheel to my show? Absolutley not!

A heckler has to be handled and not ignored. Now I say this but I usually tend to move past a heckler and away to the opposite side of the table when one is heckling me to pursue the rest of my routine there and if I can get his friends to shut him or her up then I'll allow that first. I usually find being nice and actually knowing what your doing prevents the birth of a heckler. But sometimes thats not the case and it can't be helped.

You as a entertainer needs to know your boundaries you don't want to lose your job due to ego or arrogance leave it at the door. If someone heckles me a mere " OH I didn't realize we had a comedian on the payroll" and make that heckler a part of your show. Kill the macho attitude and put him in his place by acknowledging him or her showing your not scared of them and your the professional but your here to entertain. I usually start out at my tables by saying this,....

" Hey guys how are we today? My names Shane and I'm part of the entertainment tonight courtesy of the restuarant. Is there anything I can get anybody? Good! We'll actually I'm a glorified nerd, no really I'm a magician and I find what you guys are talking about intriuging so I hate to interupt but I have something interesting you fine people may be interested in if you you don't mind? Now the more your relax and enjoy what Im showing you the more you'll take away from this experience."

This is how I usually open. It lets them know I'm respectful to their needs and I a serious professional at the same time. This works for me but it may not work for everyone. I relax the audience and shake each one of their hands and REMEMBER their names. This is important through out your routine. I think you should show balls and not be scared. Remember with a solid routine and effort it will be entertaining so just relax and take it as it comes.

Hope some of this helps.

 

[ReubenGazertheAmazer]

Perhaps this is out of context, but do you really take the time to explain your theoretical thoughts on art and life as a response to an off-handed comment? Sounds like a snooze fest to me...

In any event, I really do not understand the concept of coming online and asking for lines... Is originality really that difficult? Oh wait, yea, it is... So THATS why its so respected....


Just be yourself, make stuff up, gain experience. Do you think every modern day stock line was written like a book? No, they were responses that were created by performers to liven up and keep the flow of routines when such questions are asked.

That said, do I use some stock lines? Sure, I'd be lying if I said I didn't. There are some lines I genuinely do like and find that they fit me. Such as the "Who?" response to "You're the next Criss Angel!".... For some reason I just find that hilarious and well fitting.


But the important thing is to loosen up, have fun, be spur-of-the-moment and just enjoy the people you are performing for, don't be set to someone else's created crop of lines.


C

I totally agree with your first statement. Why all of a sudden turn a nice, complimenting joke into a serious, don't ask me questions-awkward moment for them? If I was a spectator and asked if you can make 20$ bills appear and you answered "Well, technically I can but I wouldn't in the right mind use my powers for evil. Magic is an art and doesn't work this way, let me recite my latest essay on theoretical physics too while I'm at it." This topic is a little bit overblown, I mean "comebacks" as somepeople call them (which they aren't, they're just regular responses) should make them feel good and get a chuckle, not make anyone feel awkard.

In my own instances, I usually respond with things like this.

"How'd you do that!" "I thought I did it very well thank you! (And a comforting laugh to go along with it, so its not offensive in any way.)

"Can you tell me how it's done?" (this response is different than what I explained above, this is more for people who're in their late 40's or 50's or sometimes younger who picked up a magic kit when they were younger and think they have the right to know how it's done as well.) I respond: Can you keep a secret? So can I! Obviously this line is very over-used but works beautifully.

With the, "you're like that Criss Angel!" I respond: "I hope not! I hate mascera!"

"I'm bringing you to Vegas the next time I go! (I'm 15 and get this A LOT for some reason.) "Vegas? Sorry, I don't think I'm allowed back in their anytime soon!"

Hope some of these help. Responses as such don't have to be awkard, they usually come naturally with experience.

Just my two cents!